y do ladies need to be so extreme aft they reject guys?
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ok...no wonder the stories seemed familiar...
oh well... still got forest.... -
Originally posted by redname:
Hi,
i've jus been rejected recently.
i find tht the other party really isn't handling this well.
she'll say things like "we can still be frens", "no hard feelings" but her actions r totally different.
I initate a chat on facebook, she immed log off. i was blunt and stupid enough to sms her to ask y she needs to be so extreme and she replied it wasn't her and the insensitive me actually gave her a sacrastic reply
i apologize for it and she says it's ok and even sounds like her usual self, wishing me gd nite. i tld her tht i'll keep my promise to give each other time/space to cool down.
ytd nite, i login msn, purposely appearing offline and i saw her online. with no intend to chat with her, i re-login again appearing available and i saw her immed disappearing.
wat's wrg? must gals be so extreme? i already promise to lay off liao and my actions do tell these few days, no sms, no msn, no emails etc... nothing at all.
i really wonder what's on their mind aft tht reject someone. pple tell me the gals also dnt feel gd to break someone's heart but i dnt get it cause it's the guy who's feeling sh!tty mah.
wat can i do now? i thot laying off wld b gd enough but doesn't seem the case :(
are you perhaps the one feeling too sensitive to her reactions after kenna rejected? Grow up please! -
well for TS, i can only advise you to move on... previously i also have this experience... everything is nice till the point i hold her hands when we are taking neoprints... and soon many things went wrong... i regretted a lot... she even take measures to block me out of her social life...i have to admit that i am a complete idiot at that time...
recently, i only call her to wish her happy birthday and guess what... in the end, her friends ask me not to bug her... i did not hate her or what... i can understand how u feel... it is like out of a sudden, she is out of your life completely...
seriously, just move on... you will find someone who will appreciate you better... and also as time passes by, you will know how to deal with a girl better... just dun have any hope that she will come back to ya... when a girl do not like you, it is very obvious...
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x
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Haha dude, just forget her... come on, you don't want her as a friend. Stop kidding yourself. Deep down, you want her romantically/sexually. It is your ego at work here. You can't accept the fact that she has decided to cut you off.
So, don't waste time on girls who aren't interested in you. The focus should be on yourself and your happiness. Well, you have already stated your intentions, the ball is her in her court to hit back at you. And since you know your answer already, don't waste your time trying to talk/plead/beg. It does not work in real life. Even if it does, you have to question the real reason for her wanting to be with you.
In short, just like what others said, get on with your life and let her do the work now. Meanwhile, just socialise and get to know more people. There are many good girls out there for you. I can see this girl isn't for you.
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Originally posted by Fugazzi:
The rejection that u feel now is cos it is not self-love but 'her-love'. In other words, she is (was) the object of your love - now that she has more or less rejected u - where is your love pointing to? Hence the anxiety, the anguish ....
Self-fulfil love, self-fulfil responsibility, self-fulfil esteem and u may never have to deal with or find yourself in a predicament that you are in now. To apportion blame on her for what u feel is being unfair to her. She is merely an excuse, it could be another gal or situation - after all that is said and done, its what u are on the 'inside' that counts. Its surfaced now.
dnt really understand ur 1st paragraph.
i'm trying to deal w/ wat u've wrote on ur 2nd paragraph thou. tht's y i restrain from putting blames on her or even writing mean things abt her so as not to provoke myself to the stage of self pity
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When one loves another - the usual is to 'point' one's love to another. However, the predicament is that when the other or another is not there or for some reason(s) makes an exit, one's love is pointing no-where!
One misinterprets that one's love is unvalidated or even feels unreciprocated. One feels cheated, rejected. Why? cos one's professed love for the .... is beggarly One is impoverished within.
One, without understanding, erroneously imbibes what is from the outside (another/other person) and assumes that it is from within oneself. In this instance, love from another is propping up one. Once it is gone, one collapses. The prop is no longer there.
However, if one has it within - that is one has abundant love within onself; one is overflowing, one is able to share what one is - one shares, one appreciates. As to whether the other validates one or reciprocates becomes irrelevant. Why? cos one is self-fulfilled, one is centred within oneself, ie, the first ripple of love moves from the centre of u (call it heart , soul or whatever ).
Lest it's miscontrued - my meaning of self-centredness is not selfishness, as in being selfiish, hoarding, inconsiderate etc. I m referring to one being 'rich', one has it within , eg, self-love, self-respect, self-acceptance .... One no longer seeks out ... one simply loves, one simply shares, one simply appreciates.
Self-acceptance is essential for love to bloom. Love starts with self-love. Instead of being selfish one can be self-full (fulfilled in ....).
Alway, acceptance creates the milieu for love to grow. Also, a porous ego and a little foolishness to make mistakes and a little wisdom to avoid past errors would go a long way.
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One cannot live on love and fresh air alone.
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Perhaps her trying not to be online at the same time with you, is her version of letting things cool down. If you think of it, it's equally awkward to both be online, and not chatting- especially when you've initiated a chat.
Thing is, she might be a very nice girl, who's polite and all to everyone and if you guys start chatting again, you might find it very hard to forget her and somehow you might feel hopeful that things will take a turn for the better.
If she actually talks to you all the time, being nice and all, while having rejected you, she might think she's leading you on. Which is essentially cruel to you, since she has already clearly rejected you. Also, she might be frightened by your keen observation on her online status and your maybe emotion-laden reaction. Give her loads of space, for both of your sakes.
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wow, so many types of replies.
well, i've drawn some conclusions. 1. jus lay back and relax, dnt give a dam abt her and get back to life. 2. women are jus strange, won't understand one, jus look at the diff type of responses.
haha, looks like i'm back to square one, give both ourselves space & time and still unable to understand wat's gng on :D
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Originally posted by redname:
well, i've drawn some conclusions. 1. jus lay back and relax, dnt give a dam abt her and get back to life. 2. women are jus strange, won't understand one, jus look at the diff type of responses.
For all you know, women are giving each other the exact same conclusions about us guys.
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when a girl says 'we can still be friends'
it's basically 'lets not ever talk to each other again'
take a hint, pal
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Originally posted by thehappybunny:
when a girl says 'we can still be friends'
it's basically 'lets not ever talk to each other again'
take a hint, pal
oh, this part i understand pretty well.
most of the time when the gals say this, they actually thot everything is ok on their side and they r sure on wat they r doing. this is not the case.
i've learned tht if they say this sentence, continue to back off cause eventually wat they felt is wrg, it is not alrite yet
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i have this weird feeling tht her or her frens who knows abt this stuation is reading all these on the forums.
nowadays when i login, she nvr offline liao but of cus i'm not taking it tht everything is ok liao, i'll still continue to backoff :)
then again, it might be because of those stupid remarks i made as MSN comments and she saw it :P
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once she's said the 'friends' bit, its pointless to note if she logs off after you login or whatever
because she's not going to talk to you. no point talking to her
unless she is one of the minorities out there who actually mean what they say about being friends
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hello bunnie..
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hi bry
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coz what they say and what they do are two different things :)
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Just block & delete her on msn. Solve both of ur problems. She wont
get to see you online , you wont get to see hr status.
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red,
notice that i dont exactly often contact people to chat even though i have msn, yahoo, skype and blah blah blah.
i believe that as friends, you dont have to chat on msn to continue a friendship.
maybe when either one is really free, and there is only this much that need to be discussed. eg. when to meet, what to bring or buy.
otherwise, conversation can be limited to just understanding each other and no need to talk so much on msn.
real friends talk to each other on issues that caters to each other. Not only about one party.
msn is just a comm tool that can never define friendship.
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Redname, there is a piece of advice I wanna dish out to you. Once you made a confession, don't ever flinch or back down saying you still want to be friends. It shows a lack of belief in yourself and your values.
In any case, there's no point in debating what she does to you. It's really her business and she doesn't owe you anything. If she's attracted to you, she will come, period. Let her decide.
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Why made such sweeping statement?
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Originally posted by Fantagf:
Why made such sweeping statement?
Oh please.........for someone who makes sweeping statments & assumptions to come here to ask about others making sweeping statements, has to be the most under statement of this year. -
Originally posted by viciouskitty74:
Oh please.........for someone who makes sweeping statments & assumptions to come here to ask about others making sweeping statements, has to be the most under statement of this year.
Bigotry.hahhahah!!! bearing grudge
hahahahha
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Originally posted by Fantagf:
Bigotry.hahhahah!!! bearing grudge
hahahahha
I am glad that you do realise it yourself.And I am now even happier for you that you do realised what you have been behaving like and how much that finally have gotten thru your head about how you were behaving to most of the forumers that you have been very rude to.
its always nice to know, when stupid girls, no matter how stupid, and no matter how idiotic, learns to see their behaviour in their mirror and laugh about it.
I hope I dont need to see you making a ugly sight of yourself. Because I am very sure now, that whatever if you still continue to do. Will result in bringing your parents into the picture and bring your whole family name into shame.