Er Nai? Stopping?
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Originally posted by Billie Jean:
Dear all, i really appreciate all your comments/feedback/suggestions on my issue. I thanked you for the articles that your guys/girls have attached too. I still love my wife. In fact, she's just sleeping right beside me as i write this. My wife and i had been together since 19 y.o. (married for >10 years)
I would not blame the girl either as it was not her who suggested going out in the first place. It was me. She just said yes all the time. She is not aggressively after me either.
I believe its more towards feeling in a way that i have not felt for so long. The thrill of the chase, the excitement, going out together, being anxious, thinking about her, may be. Actually i have not actually thought of what i really want from her. May be say Yes to me.
I was also rationalizing that we are just going out as special friends and eventually she may not want me and leave.
In terms of putting her in my company, i did that as i feel its not so proper to be going out with her and if she part time at my place, i can see her and go out on most days, without fixing up dates.
Are the dangers worth your reward?
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The PRC girl, espacially those in their 20s, are really eye candies and a treat to the eyes. Lovely flowing locks of hair, fair complexion, shinning eyes, sweet smiles, sexy slim bodies, and best of all, the demureness of a simple village girl wide eye yearning to learn, to understand and trust our Singapore culture and achievements.
Compared to our fellow female citizens, whom may be equilavent with haughty city bred looks for some, but if you are engaged or married, you will find a rather discomforting natural 'pragmatic' streak in them. Some get disillusioned with their concept of such 'love', which is actually nothing wrong, as most times, you will have to admit, our women are pretty level headed where money is concern as security for future.
With the PRC girl, a new woman in your life, she with her apeal would become a natural physical attraction and a longing to your primitive instincts.
It always start innocently enough..... the ooohs...the ahhhhs...a date, then dates, a romance blossoms, lovey dovey times, stolen moments, then the physical aspects of presumed love, ...then comes the lies, the guilt, the coverups....later the trembling fear of being found out, furtive looks here and there behaving more like spies each time you go out, followed eventually by tears, screams, shouts, and pain......
You presume you can control it, but you know deep down you cant. You are a matured adult, with a moral compass inbuilt. You know what is right and wrong. That is the reason why you are here, to convince yourself that perhaps, just perhaps, such feelings can be controlled, and will gladly believe it if just one poster will tell you so despite others telling you its nonsense and never be controlled.
Sorry to disappoint. Dont live in delusions. When you wake up, as all who cheated on their wives or gf found out, they lost tremendously - both emotionally and physically. A love built up over years is NEVER replaceable. That empty feeling occupied by her for years will always exist, despite her flaws, and no matter how much women you try to sleep with again. Worse if you had both shared a comon progeny - your children.
Women, as partners in the sex act, as it is often said, are all the same. Off the lights, and after minutes or an hour, it is over for men, regardless of how sexy she is.
What makes that woman special is not her bedroom ability, but the comfort, trust, companionship, and true love she can provide to you, a feeling of warmth built up over time that you can depend on.
That PRC girl is fun to be with, but do you forsee her as the one whom will accompany you to old age? Or how many other women do you want in life, before you honour that vow you made as a responsible man to society, to the one you married, who have provided you much and more - a home, love and kids, care and concern, companionship during your growing years?
Go on, dally with the PRC girl. You will find excitement. Driving your car with the accelerator pedal to the metal- hitting 220km per hour is fun too. You only live once. Go ahead and enjoy life. Throw everything away. Be irresponsible. Why care so much? After all, your wife, kids and family will be the ones to suffer for the rest of their lives. They will be the ones to pay for your mistakes. You loose nothing, cause when you screw up, you have nothing left to lose and would be prepare to have nothing. Go ahead and do it, if that's what you want to hear here.
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Originally posted by Billie Jean:
Dear all, i really appreciate all your comments/feedback/suggestions on my issue. I thanked you for the articles that your guys/girls have attached too. I still love my wife. In fact, she's just sleeping right beside me as i write this. My wife and i had been together since 19 y.o. (married for >10 years)
I would not blame the girl either as it was not her who suggested going out in the first place. It was me. She just said yes all the time. She is not aggressively after me either.
I believe its more towards feeling in a way that i have not felt for so long. The thrill of the chase, the excitement, going out together, being anxious, thinking about her, may be. Actually i have not actually thought of what i really want from her. May be say Yes to me.
I was also rationalizing that we are just going out as special friends and eventually she may not want me and leave.
In terms of putting her in my company, i did that as i feel its not so proper to be going out with her and if she part time at my place, i can see her and go out on most days, without fixing up dates.
YOu are digging your own grave. -
I was in some kind dilemma like TS sometime ago , every guy will subcumb to temptation, who would not want a sweet young thing for lovely dovey.. while I dont know how strong is the bond between the wife and hubby. Just ask yourself if one day you are poor, balding, sick who will still be by yourself, everything will be clear if you will have the answer
The truth is I have a few friends in the same boat as TS n and caught themselve in a sticky situation now... the simple solution is have all fun with the PRC girl and then part with her its cruel to do so but you are being kind to everyone
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To conclusively malign PRCs gals for what they are is totally unfair. It takes two hands to clap and to suggest that it is 'ok' to dehumanize another human being for one's selfish ends is the ugliest thing a person can be or do. It is a fallacious reasoning n smacks of moral hypocrisy and double standards.
If one can do that to another human being, the spouse (he/she) is no better off. When one looks closer, the spouse is no better off. I say that cos he/she is also dehumanized.
PS - it is a different matter altogether if one is consorting with a prostitute
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Originally posted by Billie Jean:
Hi all,
This is my first time posting and just discovered this site less than ten minutes ago after the whole day of agony.
I run a co that i own. I am married with 2 kids (6 & 8 y.o). Wife is a senior management level professional. i am in mid 30.
I also teach. Recently i become close with this girl 21 (from PRC), who is also my student, in two of the classes that i teach. I have gone out with her like once a week for the past 4 weeks and i am really feeling the attraction. I am not so sure about her feeling though. She asked about my status and i have made full disclosure.
We have gone for driving range (golf), waterfall (Johor), cinema, of course, makan, etc. I don't feel good inside but cannot stop wanting to go out with her. Tomorrow we are going out again. Normally i do not go to work till like 1-2pm.
Two of my part time staff are leaving soon and i have decided to let her work part time at my company.
I am in a super dilemma and have no one to counsel. Please help if you can.
Billie,
Your posting is very funny.
You are not playing with fire, but playing with explosives.
Men like you are not very bright, and are easy prey. Easy to tempt, easy to cheat.
While you want to keep the whole affair a secret, your mistress won't. Which woman wants to be a permanent concubine ? NONE, we all want to be the QUEEN, someday.
In a few more months, she will start calling up your wife to tell her about the whole secret ordeal. Then everything will start to unravel. Yep, all it takes is a phone call.
By then, you'd be toast. No reset button.
Now you claim you still love your wife. But your wife will not be able to love you anymore , knowing you've put your dick in someone else's cunt. You may deny all you want, but women has great imagination. She will never be able to trust you EVER again.
When you finally leave your family, you'd be at the mercy of your mistress. The ball will be at her court. She can then demand all she wants from you, or you can always die another lonely old failure.
Yet today, you let her into your company. Foolish move. She can destroy not only your family, now she has access to your career too. Your company's reputation is at stake.
If she cannot get what she wants from you, she has the power to bring you to your knees.
You probably think women like your mistress are docile, stupid and harmless.
Talk to people who's gone down this path, and you will realize you are oh so wrong.
You probably thought that by declaring you are a married man, and she willingly be your mistress, you'd be safe ? WRONG.
Because you are a married man, just means you have MORE to lose, that means she has more to blackmail you with, should the situation becomes unfavorable to her later. Unless you're just another loser.
Play with explosives you will, be prepared to be blown to bits.
Be smart, keep your mistress out of your company. Never let her know your home address.
Your wife must be really dumb to not know you're betraying her. But then again.. if she is really so smart.. she probably wouldn't have married and gave birth to 2 kids with you anyway. Ofcors I am mocking your wife, you're doing the same to her now.
And thost 2 kids of yours.. they're gonna grow up hating you.
Good luck and good hunting.
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Originally posted by Fugazzi:
To conclusively malign PRCs gals for what they are is totally unfair. It takes two hands to clap and to suggest that it is 'ok' to dehumanize another human being for one's selfish ends is the ugliest thing a person can be or do. It is a fallacious reasoning n smacks of moral hypocrisy and double standards.
If one can do that to another human being, the spouse (he/she) is no better off. When one looks closer, the spouse is no better off. I say that cos he/she is also dehumanized.
PS - it is a different matter altogether if one is consorting with a prostitute
"To conclusively malign PRC gals for what they are" - But they are what they are..how are we supposed to malign them if that is the case?
Don't really understand what you are trying to say here.
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PRC girls have proven to be money sucking scum, time and time again in Singapore.
Being a prostitute is one thing, but what comes after the sex, the escapades, the blackmails, is way out out of their job scope as a sex worker. It only serves to wreck a family, to gain material wealth through unscrupulous means.
If the girl in billie's case is indeed that good, why would she be going after a man in his mid 30s, when she is only 21?
Bottomline is, always assume that PRC girls are all deceptive until they have proven themselves to be trustworthy, and worthy of your friendship and time.
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I am really sad with the anti PRC sentiments being expressed by some members here...
It's obvious the wolf is actually the guy, this Billy, who is in his 30s, is a teacher of hers, and now a superior / boss of her (employer).
This wolf is preying on a young person, just 21 year old, lonely and away from home in a foreign country, and he is actually a teacher of hers, a position of trust.
If he is a real teacher, actually teachers are forbidden from dating their students because it means they are abusing and taking advantage of their position.
It's just like doctors cannot date patients, or priests cannot date parish. Teachers also cannot date students.
So this Billy has broken his professional code of conduct.
Not only that, he is dissatisfied and went one step further, he locked her in another vertical relationship, by employing her as his staff.
He even admitted it openly by saying that he do this so that he can date her more.
So it is clear to me who is the wolf here.
I think the girl is just naive and maybe she doesnt know too much things in this world, she doesnt know how to handle a wolf like Billy.
For Billy, I am disappointed that you show such a lack of maturity and serious character flaw.
It's up to you how you want to proceed. You want to destroy your life, your character, and your family as casualties, that is your decision to take.
You are no longer a 18 year old teenager but supposed to be a man.
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just try to be friends with her. just don't don't fool around can liao
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I know how you feel, you don't want to tell the pearson you know.u care alot about your pride. u don't this to get out of hand. u don't want your family to shoot alot of questions at u because of this problem. am I right?
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Originally posted by Veggie Bao:
I am really sad with the anti PRC sentiments being expressed by some members here...
It's obvious the wolf is actually the guy, this Billy, who is in his 30s, is a teacher of hers, and now a superior / boss of her (employer).
This wolf is preying on a young person, just 21 year old, lonely and away from home in a foreign country, and he is actually a teacher of hers, a position of trust.
If he is a real teacher, actually teachers are forbidden from dating their students because it means they are abusing and taking advantage of their position.
It's just like doctors cannot date patients, or priests cannot date parish. Teachers also cannot date students.
So this Billy has broken his professional code of conduct.
Not only that, he is dissatisfied and went one step further, he locked her in another vertical relationship, by employing her as his staff.
He even admitted it openly by saying that he do this so that he can date her more.
So it is clear to me who is the wolf here.
I think the girl is just naive and maybe she doesnt know too much things in this world, she doesnt know how to handle a wolf like Billy.
For Billy, I am disappointed that you show such a lack of maturity and serious character flaw.
It's up to you how you want to proceed. You want to destroy your life, your character, and your family as casualties, that is your decision to take.
You are no longer a 18 year old teenager but supposed to be a man.
Agree.
Sorry lah, I have had so many experiences with PRC assholes, seems to me that the girl in this case is simply trying to attract his attention by laying low for the moment. Reverse psychology works.
What is actually out of place in this case would be her agreeing to go out with him on a regular bases. As a PRC (thus having a root of ethnic values run deeper), she should know damn well that it is definitely not socially acceptable to be with a married man a little too often.
But TS needs to keep his distance..SG men are easily preyed on..
Doesn't change the fact that all PRCs are guilty until proven otherwise.
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What makes you think that the girl is "trying to attract him" ?
The guy said it himself, he is the one always initiating / asking her out, and not the other way around.
She is 21 years old, young and naive, lonely and away from home, and this guy is practically and literally her teacher and her boss.
Will it be easy for her to dismiss Billy's advances?
If you are put in her position, what kind of emotional position will you be in?
It's obvious Billy is a wolf who prey on vulnerable people.
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Originally posted by Veggie Bao:
What makes you think that the girl is "trying to attract him" ?
The guy said it himself, he is the one always initiating / asking her out, and not the other way around.
She is 21 years old, young and naive, lonely and away from home, and this guy is practically and literally her teacher and her boss.
Will it be easy for her to dismiss Billy's advances?
If you are put in her position, what kind of emotional position will you be in?
It's obvious Billy is a wolf who prey on vulnerable people.
Reread this:What is actually out of place in this case would be her agreeing to go out with him on a regular bases. As a PRC (thus having a root of ethnic values run deeper), she should know damn well that it is definitely not socially acceptable to be with a married man a little too often.
Thanks.
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I would keep my distance to prevent people from thinking that I am just "another PRC girl".
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I read it perfectly fine.
Why dont you yourself read my line:
She is 21 years old, young and naive, lonely and away from home, and this guy is practically and literally her teacher and her boss.
Will it be easy for her to dismiss Billy's advances?
If you are put in her position, what kind of emotional position will you be in?
It's obvious Billy is a wolf who prey on vulnerable people.
Thanks.
I would lay the blame squarely on Billy's shoulders. No doubt about it.
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Originally posted by Veggie Bao:
I read it perfectly fine.
Why dont you yourself read my line:
I have answered your question earlier on. But for the sake of repetition, I quote myself:I would keep my distance to prevent people from thinking that I am just "another PRC girl".
"She is 21 years old, young and naive, lonely and away from home, and this guy is practically and literally her teacher and her boss."
21 years old? Young and naive? Lol.
Attraction is always 2 sided. Billie cannot be attracted to her if she had not willingly left herself open to such influence. As such, it is extemely obvious that she does not mind his advances. For a single lady to go overseas with a married man to JB: do you know what it means?
Again:
"What is actually out of place in this case would be her agreeing to go out with him on a regular basis. As a PRC (thus having a root of ethnic values run deeper), she should know damn well that it is definitely not socially acceptable to be with a married man a little too often."
It is not easy for her to reject his advances outright because he is her superior. However, it does not change the fact that it is highly inappropriate for her to "go with the flow"
I believe that I have made it obvious enough that both parties are at fault. If needed, refer to my first post in this thread on page 1, where I mentioned that he was clearly out of control.
P.S: "She is 21 years old, young and naive, lonely and away from home, and this guy is practically and literally her teacher and her boss." This sentence is particularly fallicious, please do not give the wrong impression..
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my 2 cents of advice la: screw alrdy then zao. Dun mess with china girls.
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if u wanna play, go find some other married women.....
itis safer when both side got more to lost......
but when itis a one sider thing......
i can only pity ur wife and kids on what they have to go thru at the end of the tunnel...
that is if u aint hit by the train yet....
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intro her to me i will handle it for you :)
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Originally posted by Veggie Bao:
I read it perfectly fine.
Why dont you yourself read my line:
She is 21 years old, young and naive, lonely and away from home, and this guy is practically and literally her teacher and her boss.
Will it be easy for her to dismiss Billy's advances?
If you are put in her position, what kind of emotional position will you be in?
It's obvious Billy is a wolf who prey on vulnerable people.
Thanks.
I would lay the blame squarely on Billy's shoulders. No doubt about it.
Young , naive and lonely ?? Hahahahahhaah !!!
If she is as stupid as you'd want her to be, she won't be in Singapore.
Trust me, she knows exactly what she is doing.
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Originally posted by jojobeach:
Young , naive and lonely ?? Hahahahahhaah !!!
If she is as stupid as you'd want her to be, she won't be in Singapore.
Trust me, she knows exactly what she is doing.
Hahaha
Got all those PRC aunties selling tissue paper in SG
I couldn't help it, and I asked her why did she had to sell tissue paper for a living, because to come over to Singapore for a long period of time definitely requires connections and money.
She kept complaining that she didn't have money..didn't have a place to live...
So I asked directly: "Then how did you make it to Singapore?"
She got quite angry and walked away. People around me then began to understand what I was doing.
I have sufficiently proved my point that her selling tissue paper was a fraud.
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Originally posted by donkhead333:
Reread this:What is actually out of place in this case would be her agreeing to go out with him on a regular bases. As a PRC (thus having a root of ethnic values run deeper), she should know damn well that it is definitely not socially acceptable to be with a married man a little too often.
Thanks.
Hey, he did mention in the first line that he did not mention to her or hint to her that he is married right?So lets give her a benefit of doubt first, that she doesn't know about his marital status. Up till this point, its Billy who should leave her, clear misunderstanding should there be one and don't meet her that often.