Pls help.. personal relationaship problems..
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Originally posted by ~GaL~:
I'm 23, he's 25...he is still in Uni..I just graduated and finding a job... i think his blood type is O+, mine is B+..
...... BAD.... Just as I've FEARED.... Let me ask you, what kinda job are you looking for and what are your expectations for it....?
He actually not good looking, not much good factors...but dunno why, just like him the way it is...
MAYBE I might know why...?
As for my previous break-ups, 1st one (lasted 8mths) was mainly due to his parents think we were too young (I was just 15).., and the 2nd one (lasted 10mths) was due to his parents wants him to concentrate on his studies (he had to repeat his O levels).. So tat are mainly the reasons tat I know of...unless they kept the real reasons to themselves la..
...... Do you intend to tie him down..? You can't really tie him down.... I also don't know how to advise you on this one...?
~GOOD LUCK? -
huh? wad's tat u fear? why?
why can't i tie him down? Isn't tat why people have girlfriends and boyfriends? Doesn't it all leads to marriage? -
Don't ya know that many marriages could also leads to divorce... There is no SURE way... If people want it out, they would very well be able to do so.... What is he studying...? He told you what he wanna work as in the future...?Originally posted by ~GaL~:huh? wad's tat u fear? why?
why can't i tie him down? Isn't tat why people have girlfriends and boyfriends? Doesn't it all leads to marriage?
Care to tell me about your expectations of him and your job?
I think you might have ALOT of CONCEPTs... Which might not really work on him....? HIDDEN FACTORs..... ~Sigh....~
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he is studying business...he hopes to be able to start his own business in future..as for me, i'm still at a crossroad, hasn't decided yet..Originally posted by Devil1976:Don't ya know that many marriages could also leads to divorce... There is no SURE way... If people want it out, they would very well be able to do so.... What is he studying...? He told you what he wanna work as in the future...?
Care to tell me about your expectations of him and your job?
I think you might have ALOT of CONCEPTs... Which might not really work on him....? HIDDEN FACTORs..... ~Sigh....~ -
was just doing a quick scan thru, so dunno what advice the various shifus down here have furnished. my tuppence is for u to ditch him cos this r/s is now unfair. unfair in the sense tat he betrayed ur trust and u now have a stranglehold on him which will always remind u of his infidelity. its so sad to be reminded of that when the both of u are having sex. wherein lies the enjoyment of it?
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ya..
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Tat's why it's either I carry-on, and make sure I can really control my thoughts and forgive n forget all those bad memories...or...juz give up...Originally posted by JLennon:was just doing a quick scan thru, so dunno what advice the various shifus down here have furnished. my tuppence is for u to ditch him cos this r/s is now unfair. unfair in the sense tat he betrayed ur trust and u now have a stranglehold on him which will always remind u of his infidelity. its so sad to be reminded of that when the both of u are having sex. wherein lies the enjoyment of it?
As of now, I choose to give it some time and carryon, and see if my condition will improve...but i'm not confident coz I'm one whom tends to overly-bother over past issues and I really hav difficulties controlling my thoughts and the timing of it popping out in my mind.... -
Originally posted by Devil1976:Hehheh... Different people have different ways of doing things... Don't get too carried away...?
Female when in relationships, being 'skilled' or 'intelligent' is almost non existent.
Are you referring to this?
Only men can be distracted enough to fall fall blindly, anyway...men who are strong enough to resist the advancement of women is also to 0.1% existance...
Yun....maybe you're one of the 0.1% -
Whatever lah... In general, different people have different ways of interpreting things... My concern is whatever you all have got to say about each other, please remember that the person who started the thread is actually looking for help.... So try not spoil people's thread lah... -_-`~Originally posted by M©+square:Are you referring to this? -
Sorry, I think I'll drop the case for now... Whatever I need to say I think I've mostly said...?Originally posted by ~GaL~:he is studying business...he hopes to be able to start his own business in future..as for me, i'm still at a crossroad, hasn't decided yet..
Personally, I feel that you're not really compatible...? I don't know... I mean there're so much more FACTORs to look into.... There's a CHANCE that things might stabilised for now.... But chances are in the future things would probably change.... He's probably not what you're expecting (totally?).... And he probably won't be able tolerate you (or you wanna put it that way, you can't tolerate his attitude towards a relationship...).... UNLESS things are VERY FAVOURABLE for those factors which I've not taken into consideration, going off tracks for this relationship is just a matter of time.... And EVEN IF the 'other factors' are VERY FAVOURABLE to your relationship... You'll have to consider these points...
1. The other factors are ONLY A FEW and LIMITED in ability to hold this relationship in a piece, ANY 1 or 2 of them fail... The table can easily fall apart...
2. The other factors are QUITE 'time degradable'....
The CHANGE in him should quite rapidly take place especially if he've chosen to start a business... That period and after you'll probably see quite a different man.... I think you did mentioned that you've been with for for quite a while (3 years or so?).... Well... I'll make a DARING ASSUMPTION here? You have both either just beginning to explore and know each other during that period of time or simply engaged in quite a ROUTINE or 'LUXURIOUS life style' of dining and enjoyment of such....? I'll place a higher bet on the latter.... And SEX is probably of utmost importance between you and him.... And that could be HIGHLY the important FACTOR that have been keeping the 2 of you together... (of course I'm not saying that both of you are together just for the sake of that, but that it's sort of like an ESSENTIAL on both parties' mind...)
And other negative factors might lie in you which I shall not go into details for now as they're no longer of much importance here...
If you're just looking for a short-term or non-commitment relationship just to enjoy each other's company as time permits, I'll say just go ahead.... But I'm afraid that's not really on your mind...? -
hAHA....i just realise that i was the spoiler....
Sorrie...esp in AG.....should be more sensitive.
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It's ok... We're all learning...?Originally posted by M©+square:hAHA....i just realise that i was the spoiler....
Sorrie...esp in AG.....should be more sensitive. -
okok...advert finish...talk in the next whacky thread....then we can spoil topic.Originally posted by Devil1976:It's ok... We're all learning...? 
For now...let's go back to the topic.
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Spoiler? now lah... U juz voice out how U feel & tink at dat moment wat... & anywae U r forgiven...Originally posted by M©+square:hAHA....i just realise that i was the spoiler....
Sorrie...esp in AG.....should be more sensitive. -
Devil1976, there's sense in wad u say...I've thought of similar things on the line too...but since I'm personally involved here, i choose to go with my heart...not my mind...hope things will be better...
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If this relationship is really tormenting u so much,then y are u still hanging on to it??but if u get out of it once anf for all, will u be happier??think abt it....Originally posted by ~GaL~:Thanks for all your help and advice..
Personally, I really want to forgive him...but why it's so difficult for me is tat though he is my 3rd bf (but the 1st and only i've slept wif), I've always been the 1st gf for all my ex and including him..so maybe tat might contribute to the difficulty of my "recovery" process...
though i've never seen the girl before, but nowadays, whenever i have sex with him, the image of him and an "imaginary gal" will together will pop out of my mind...it is also such occurences tat is driving me crazy and thus, makes me wonder if i should give the relationship up in exchange for my sanity...?? -
The thing is tat, after the incident, he treats me very well..I wan to forgive and forget...but it's the "forgetting" part tat is so difficult for me now...I want to forget, but can't....Originally posted by Juz~Me:If this relationship is really tormenting u so much,then y are u still hanging on to it??but if u get out of it once anf for all, will u be happier??think abt it.... -
I'll pray that i can truly forgive her too......Originally posted by ~GaL~:The thing is tat, after the incident, he treats me very well..I wan to forgive and forget...but it's the "forgetting" part tat is so difficult for me now...I want to forget, but can't.... -
Huh? "Her"? U met wif the same situation too??Originally posted by M©+square:I'll pray that i can truly forgive her too...... -
anyway, after this incident, i became very paranoid, and extremely sensitive and moody...became a loner...it's just not my character...but i can't help it...still trying to find a way to control my outbursts...
...sigh... -
U juz need time & more concern... more frens & family to help U...Originally posted by ~GaL~:anyway, after this incident, i became very paranoid, and extremely sensitive and moody...became a loner...it's just not my character...but i can't help it...still trying to find a way to control my outbursts...
...sigh...
Dun worry! We r here to help share yr pain!!! -
Hmm....i guess so.Originally posted by ~GaL~:Huh? "Her"? U met wif the same situation too?? -
Then did U solve da prob?Originally posted by M©+square:Hmm....i guess so. -
dun be angry of who ur bf actually like....Originally posted by ~GaL~:After my bf of 5years 2-timed me last year for a PRC, I've changed into a different person...I get extremely sensitive with all-things "Made in China", no more any self-confidence, goes into moodswings frequently, became un-trusting to my bf...
Although he has ended their relationship for a few months now (and I'm pretty sure that they never contacted ever since), however, the scars are pretty much there...and I'm still in the beginning of the healing process...
He treats me very well now (much better than before), and he swears that he has forgotten her...and I honestly sees that he is indeed putting all his effort on us now...but i dun believe that one can "forget" someone tat fast...
He used to leave me alone at night while i go over to his place to overnight while he drives out to look for her...when he's worried abt her, he'd go to her house n wait for her...he'd stay overnight at her place and the next day when I meet him, he'd have bites all over his neck and back...and he'd even send her home right to her door steps when he only does so for me not more than 5 times in 5 years!!
Though we decided to put this incident behind us, but every time we are together, I'd think about the times they've had together...I'd also frequently flare up at him suddenly and say sarcastic things like "Of course I can't compare wif her" "You must hav missed her badly"..etc...though i must say that he has been very patient with me and explaining that such things are already in the past and asks me not to dwell into them and look forward together...however, somehow, I'm at a loss here....
Should I continue this relationship? Personally, I really love him but this has already caused a deep scare in the relationship and I'm not confident to be able to put this behind completely...wad should i do to improve on things? Thanks..
u can find urself a great, tall and handsome guy....
juz leave him and let him enjoy with his current gf, u will try do things dat make urself hepi..thx...
call me miss HP....the agony mum.... -
ello...? great, tall, handsome guy...?Originally posted by for_tin:dun be angry of who ur bf actually like....
u can find urself a great, tall and handsome guy....
juz leave him and let him enjoy with his current gf, u will try do things dat make urself hepi..thx...
call me miss HP....the agony mum....
dis no fairy tale lady...
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sorry... , no offence...
juz remembered ME no RIGHT to sae ppl...