me divorcee. he married man....
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Originally posted by Fatum:
you move on by first giving him the finger and telling him to get the fark out of your life, forever ..... feel sorry for the other woman and kid, they are the one stuck with an arsehole, not you .....
then you delete all the emails, smses, number, etc ...
next, you spring clean your house, good riddance to bad rubbish and bad vibes ....
go for a spa if you like ....
afterwards, go gai gai with your teen, have a good meal, watch a movie, go shopping together or something .... your kid needs your love too, neh ? ... definitely deserves it more than the farktard you tossed out ...
then .... you go out and meet people ... join a club, an interest group, call up old friends, sign up for cooking class, karaoke, morning taiji, whatever, go do volunteer work, with the old folks, the disabled, the kids ... you'll find your problems so insignificant compared to their lot in life ...
wallowing in self pity is a perfectly human and natural form of therapy, just don't over do it, and know when to wake up .... happiness is what you seek, and what you fight for ... it won't drop out of the sky onto your lap. It all boils down to what you do ... you don't want to be still mooching around sighing 10 years down the line, right ?
I agree
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Originally posted by the Bear:
then replace the "him" part with something else...
like thay said, go join a group.. learn to cook, learn to dance, do volunteer work... you will not feel so lonely as there is activity with others...
who knows? you might find the company of others more fulfilling than a dead-end and pointless misery of that affair.. mostly, it gives you something else to do which will take your mind off that jerk...
you will make friends during those activities.. which will widen your outlook, widen your social circle, widen your horizons...
try the CC.. they have such courses.. and they're after work hours..
you'll even have fun..
within yourself, you already know what you must do.. for the good of your child and yourself..
good luck!
Yup. Joining a tour group might also help. You can also go travel and be away from him for a while.
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Originally posted by Grace of God:
Hope I could move on ............. its tough because I have no support and or even friend that I could talk to.
then you can come back here and vent, and all that..in the meantime, go be pro-active, like i said, go take up courses, widen your social circle, widen your horizons..
and you probably will find friends or at least someone who will listen there..
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Really appreciate all for all your words of encouragement. Thank you!
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Trust in God and He will rescue you.To be frank,i know how you feel about lonely it is pointless to seek after another relationship if you do not feel emotionally secure.Man need a secure women and loving wife.Seek a man who love you and accept your past.Put the past behind and start afresh.
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Originally posted by Wacky Sung:
Trust in God and He will rescue you.To be frank,i know how you feel about lonely it is pointless to seek after another relationship if you do not feel emotionally secure.Man need a secure women and loving wife.Seek a man who love you and accept your past.Put the past behind and start afresh.
Trust in Godand he will rescue you ,
provided that u pour money into
his kingdowm lar
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Originally posted by noahnoah:
Trust in Godand he will rescue you ,
provided that u pour money into
his kingdowm lar
cynical.. oh well.. there are many out there who are..kinda sad.. but hey.. it's your choice...
just like for TS.. who is in the process of making a choice to be happy..
Abe Lincoln once said that you have to choose to be happy.. wise words to follow from a wise man...
the world may be screwed up sometimes.. but to become cynical just because it is screwed up, is to become as screwed up as the world...
in this, the TS must try her best not to become cynical.. because it is not only her life and outlook at stake, her child will see and somehow follow... so his outlook is also at stake..
choose to be happy.. TS, i hope you will succeed.. because when we make the choice, we are usually successful
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Originally posted by noahnoah:
Trust in Godand he will rescue you ,
provided that u pour money into
his kingdowm lar
God don't need your money,
nor does he need to be worshipped in an air-conditioned, few hundred million dollar building ....
nor does he ask you to tithe at least 10% of your income every month ....
at least, mine don't ....
but if someone else tells you it's so .... then you decide what kind of koyok the fellow is actually selling lor ....
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Originally posted by the Bear:
cynical.. oh well.. there are many out there who are..kinda sad.. but hey.. it's your choice...
just like for TS.. who is in the process of making a choice to be happy..
Abe Lincoln once said that you have to choose to be happy.. wise words to follow from a wise man...
the world may be screwed up sometimes.. but to become cynical just because it is screwed up, is to become as screwed up as the world...
in this, the TS must try her best not to become cynical.. because it is not only her life and outlook at stake, her child will see and somehow follow... so his outlook is also at stake..
choose to be happy.. TS, i hope you will succeed.. because when we make the choice, we are usually successful
人之所以痛苦，在于追求错误的东西。
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Very meaningful, dunno if TS can understand anot... The full post is meaningful... -
I really hope you are not this girl!
http://www.liarscheatsandbastards.com/main.php5?action=lcb_det&id=1379
Really sad story. Shame. You should get a better boyfriend, a real one. Life is too short.
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Grace,
May I know WHY are you a divorcee ???
Was it your husband who is NO GOOD ?
Are you in ANOTHER relationship with a NO GOOD MAN AGAIN ???
Why do you keep bringing NO GOOD MEN into your life and your CHILDREN'S LIFE ?
Your CURRENT lover is a NO GOOD MAN. Are you aware of it ?
1. He cheated on his wife.
2. He had an affair with a colleague. Shitting where he eats.
3. He must be such a LOUSY husband and father .His wife also DON'T CARE FOR HIM. That's why she just couldn't be bothered even after finding out he has an AFFAIR.
The only reason why his wife is still with him is FOR THE CHILDREN. SO they don't grow up in a broken family.
If you really want to KIO ( Collect ) this SAI ( Shit).. just wait till his children are old enough.. the wife will eventually throw this piece of shit out of her life. By then you can go collect him.. he will be happy there's someone who wants him.
Since you like to collect shitty men.. go ahead.. but your children will SUFFER psychologically and affect their marriage in the future.
What kind of example are you setting for your own children ?
Have some SELF-RESPECT.
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Originally posted by Grace of God:
I'm not breaking up his family, he is the one who promise to married me and he did a flip side. He already have problem with his wife long before I even knew him.
I have even alerted his wife that he is cheating on her but she can't be bothered and still with him. That only shows that he also do not love him, both hold on to the marriage before of the child.
A marriage without communication (only when necessary or because of child) and no intimacy.
????????
Stop giving excuse.
He promise you this - result is the most important - which he is not willing. He have problem with his wife ? everyone have problem with wife - just to want extend.
Holding on to a marriage because of child ?
Or
Holding on to a affair because of free sex ?
Which is more wrong !!!
A Marriage without communication and no intimacy ?
or
An Affair that happen because got free sex ?
Wonder which one is more wrong and meaningless .
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actually, i dont see a problem here. there are all kinds of r/s out in this world. not every r/s is black and white solution.
since guy dont love his wife and only stay together for sake of his child, there is no reason not to continue to love him. provided that is true and he does not actually have another woman or two on the sidelines and use wife against you and vice versa.
but there is one thing that has to change. if he say he stay with wife for kid, then he has to spend time with you. a lot more time than currently. and you should be able to sms/call him. etc. and he should automatically do that (call/sms you when apart from you) oso if he say he love you.
if current situation remain the same, then sorry, no deal. you are not even his mate. you are his FB only. in which case, i hope you are well remunerated for your time.
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Instead of apporting blame on him for all that you feel and are now - why dont you see that you are also equally responsible for these state of affairs today.
The other thing is this - there was no love and there is no love. People who are loving dont destroy lives and use each other. This is something else all together - ... pretending to be love, masqureading as love. Simply put, you used him for ... and he used for ...
As to whether it would end or it should end only you know and the only thing that matters is that one assumes responsibility for what one is, whatever the situation.
If if there is any person losing out here - it is not the woman/man but the children. I say that cos a dysfunctional adult adds to the dysfunction.
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Grace,
Do you know why your lover BACK PADDLED on his divorce ?
Because he does not want to become the MOST HATED MAN in everyone's eyes.
If he leaves his family behind for another woman.
His children will HATE him, his family will DESPISE him, his own co-workers will OSTRACISE him and very likely LOSES his job. WHAT will he become ?
For one woman.. his life will be in RUINS.
Sure.. you want to be that woman in his arms.. but he DOES NOT want to be THAT man.
There are many things in life worth sacrificing for.. but this is not one of em.
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humans are all like that. 得�到的，永远是最好的。wait till both of you get married, there will be quarrels, disagreement, who knows another divorce. he can cheat his wife, meaning he can also cheat you if you marry him. please, this kind of man just wants to fool around, not reliable.
i pity you, please wake up.
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Ts,
How do I let go ………? The very question that you pose speaks volumes of your professed love for him or ... love is allowing, love is acceptance of .. and of course, it presupposes tht one has it withIN oneself. How to let go when you are taking, attached (attachment is NOT love)? There is no need to let go if one already has it . It is cos you dont have or are lacking within that letting go is such a difficult thing
What should I do .............? The only thing that you should understand or acknowledge is this - are u fulfilled within yourself first. Otherwise, this so-called relationship/affair/whatever? may end or not end. But it belies the lack of understanding, the lack of acceptance of Oneself, the lack of love.
yes u can do this - leave, change boyfriend or be alone for awhile. However, let me reiterate, that which is lacking within or unreconciled within would surface. many pretend, ignore and later find themselves in the same rut.
As for 'good'man 'good' woman - my take is this - it is a myth. All of us are fallible and yet in many ways have the capacity within us to transcend the lack of ... and mature.
Life is not black and white - it is the dividing that causes untold misery and pain. The wise would understand that polarities/dichotomies exist and it is being connected to existence and being cognizant of these that may have one not striving, trying but simply partaking of .. and living.
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You have a need, he fullfils it. Desire for affection.
He has a need, you fullfils it. It's gratification.
He is going to divorce his wife, ha ha ha ha, they all say that.
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God honours marraige and he will bless you if you honour him...
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is your teenage child boy or girl?
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TS is a free woman, its the guy that is having an affair.
He is the one that has an obligation to keep.
Divorcee means an unmarried woman too. OK, previously married, but unmarried now.
A married man is one that has made a promise to his wife. And the promise is still in force.
So who is the offender?
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Originally posted by mancha:
TS is a free woman, its the guy that is having an affair.
He is the one that has an obligation to keep.
Divorcee means an unmarried woman too. OK, previously married, but unmarried now.
A married man is one that has made a promise to his wife. And the promise is still in force.
So who is the offender?
TS committed an "offence" by assisting the offender to commit offence. she is a woman and she is doing this to hurt another woman. have you heard this chinese song before : 女人何苦为难女人
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The husband has the obligation not to hurt wife, not the TS.
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Originally posted by Wacky Sung:
Pardon me that you get involved with a wrong relationship with a married man.If you are desperate to feel love and cherished,then you gonna learn to be love by God.On the other hand you are destorying another family life,think about it.You are only self focus and probably you feel this way as you wanna feel being love again.Remember you can live with your child alone.The world is big and learn to mix around.I am sure if you believe in Christ,all things are possible through Him for those who believed.
so many christians divorced..................so looks like Jesus less popular by the day...........
i reckon if divorce rates keep going up, Jesus's old man will send The Deluge ver2.0 ?
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Originally posted by mancha:
The husband has the obligation not to hurt wife, not the TS.
if everybody thinks that way, this world will be upside down. anyway, it is stupid for a woman to share the guy with someone else while that guy has the best of both world. there are married guys who fall for me but i find them disgusting. married and still have the cheeks to tell me all these.