gf problem
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Originally posted by goofyzell:
I believed she loved me alot.
last month i was very sick. got flu, high fever, cough, sore throat. She took care of me until quite late though she is also very tired from work before she slept beside me.
I have no games for my psp, she will go around asking friends, colleagues and find online.
its her actions that tells me she loves me alot...
Goofy,
Are you looking for a mother , or are you looking for a partner ?
Please be very clear about this.
Your gf's current behavior is not suitable to be your life long partner.
She is psychologically unstable and in emotional wreck.
I suggest you give this relationship another one more year.. before you decide to go for the ROM or Housing application.
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Originally posted by jojobeach:
Goofy,
Are you looking for a mother , or are you looking for a partner ?
Please be very clear about this.
Your gf's current behavior is not suitable to be your life long partner.
She is psychologically unstable and in emotional wreck.
I suggest you give this relationship another one more year.. before you decide to go for the ROM or Housing application.
I am looking for a life partner.
Ya.. i know she is psychologically unstable and in emotional wreck. Even though she has gotten over the break up, she will be like that on-off.
Thats why nowadays when she mention marriage or buy house, i dun have the excitement or interest or the flame i initially had anymore...
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Originally posted by goofyzell:
I am looking for a life partner.
Ya.. i know she is psychologically unstable and in emotional wreck. Even though she has gotten over the break up, she will be like that on-off.
Thats why nowadays when she mention marriage or buy house, i dun have the excitement or interest or the flame i initially had anymore...
Then it's best you be crystal clear about your intentions. Relationship is a two way street.
What she is doing now.. is essentially shredding the bonds between the both of you.
Stringing her along ain't gonna help.. in time she will feel cheated of her precious youth.
Think this through carefully.
If you want to wait.. then let her know. Don't let her think marriage is round the corner.
A life partner can either make you or break you, so choose wisely.
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You should get yourself a normal girlfriend who doesnt behave weirdly like your current one. I was once in your shoe and it took me 3 years to leave my mentally (I think) + Emotion (Confirm) unstable ex bf..
This kind of people will eventually push you to a limit till you cannot take it and LEAVE. You might want to start scanning for new girlfriend. =)
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Originally posted by jojobeach:
Then it's best you be crystal clear about your intentions. Relationship is a two way street.
What she is doing now.. is essentially shredding the bonds between the both of you.
Stringing her along ain't gonna help.. in time she will feel cheated of her precious youth.
Think this through carefully.
If you want to wait.. then let her know. Don't let her think marriage is round the corner.
A life partner can either make you or break you, so choose wisely.
I am very clear what i want but not her. She told me to give her sometime though she also does not know how long.
I dun mind waiting but i dun think i will tell her to put off the marriage. Any way she said the marriage will have to wait 2, 3 years time. Should be enough time to gauge by then and for her to recover fully...
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Originally posted by CfCJ:
You should get yourself a normal girlfriend who doesnt behave weirdly like your current one. I was once in your shoe and it took me 3 years to leave my mentally (I think) + Emotion (Confirm) unstable ex bf..
This kind of people will eventually push you to a limit till you cannot take it and LEAVE. You might want to start scanning for new girlfriend. =)
My sister also told me that my gf is very emo person.
Few friends also told me that if i wanna be with her, be prepared for roller coster rides. If I can take it, good for me. If not better to leave her.
Anyway dun think she is behaving weirdly, just that she gets mood swings very easy and when she does, she thinks very negatively.
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Originally posted by goofyzell:
My sister also told me that my gf is very emo person.
Few friends also told me that if i wanna be with her, be prepared for roller coster rides. If I can take it, good for me. If not better to leave her.
Anyway dun think she is behaving weirdly, just that she gets mood swings very easy and when she does, she thinks very negatively.
So ma fan...bring her to a psychologist for counselling la...she like got depression or bipolar like that
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Originally posted by littlemissbonkers:
So ma fan...bring her to a psychologist for counselling la...she like got depression or bipolar like that
Think she got slight depression due to stress from previous relationship and job. Tried to ask her to go for counselling but she refused...
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Originally posted by goofyzell:
Think she got slight depression due to stress from previous relationship and job. Tried to ask her to go for counselling but she refused...
U sure you want to stay with someone like this? Especially someone who doesn't want to help herself...
Bring her to me la...I charge only 50 bucks per session
The treatment would be to clobber the unhappiness outta her!!
100% effective!!
She'll be a whole new person!
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i used to date a girl who was emotionally unstable due to a past relationship and work stress. before meeting her, i was a cool confident guy. after being with her, i become depressed and sad. i dunno if she has bipolar disorder ?? she never confessed to me. anyway it was hell so you have to decide how best to handle it because you WILL get affected. try to see if it's a medical condition or psychological issue. when i was with her, i even attended silver ribbon talks on mental health to see if i could help her. that's the extent to which i went, tho' i did it behind her back and she never knew how much i cared n suffered for her. we still end up split cuz she is blur blur till today. hope your gf recover soon.
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Originally posted by littlemissbonkers:
U sure you want to stay with someone like this? Especially someone who doesn't want to help herself...
Bring her to me la...I charge only 50 bucks per session
The treatment would be to clobber the unhappiness outta her!!
100% effective!!
She'll be a whole new person!
missbonkers sot sot one...use whip de...better be careful of her offers
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Originally posted by _Da_Dood_:
missbonkers sot sot one...use whip de...better be careful of her offers
Oh ya...you shld know best...after all you were my first guinea pig!!
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Originally posted by littlemissbonkers:
Oh ya...you shld know best...after all you were my first guinea pig!!
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Originally posted by littlemissbonkers:
U sure you want to stay with someone like this? Especially someone who doesn't want to help herself...
Bring her to me la...I charge only 50 bucks per session
The treatment would be to clobber the unhappiness outta her!!
100% effective!!
She'll be a whole new person!
-.-"
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Originally posted by carpen:
i used to date a girl who was emotionally unstable due to a past relationship and work stress. before meeting her, i was a cool confident guy. after being with her, i become depressed and sad. i dunno if she has bipolar disorder ?? she never confessed to me. anyway it was hell so you have to decide how best to handle it because you WILL get affected. try to see if it's a medical condition or psychological issue. when i was with her, i even attended silver ribbon talks on mental health to see if i could help her. that's the extent to which i went, tho' i did it behind her back and she never knew how much i cared n suffered for her. we still end up split cuz she is blur blur till today. hope your gf recover soon.
I am like that ("before meeting her, i was a cool confident guy. after being with her, i become depressed and sad.") at the moment...
I have been thru and over that damn hell period le.
I think its a mental problem cause she was not like that before...
she never knew how much i cared n suffered for her - ya lor. all she can see is things which she disagree on or dun like.
It has been 7 months and she is still unsure wat she wants. hope she will recover soon too.
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Originally posted by littlemissbonkers:
Oh ya...you shld know best...after all you were my first guinea pig!!
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Originally posted by goofyzell:
I am like that ("before meeting her, i was a cool confident guy. after being with her, i become depressed and sad.") at the moment...
I have been thru and over that damn hell period le.
I think its a mental problem cause she was not like that before...
she never knew how much i cared n suffered for her - ya lor. all she can see is things which she disagree on or dun like.
It has been 7 months and she is still unsure wat she wants. hope she will recover soon too.
what do you mean by "she is still unsure wat she wants.". Wants wat ?
You mean she don't know if she wants you or not ?
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Originally posted by jojobeach:
what do you mean by "she is still unsure wat she wants.". Wants wat ?
You mean she don't know if she wants you or not ?
sort of.
Seems like she does not know what she wants in the relationship.
She can say break up, then when i turn and walked away, she can hold me back by my arm.
Like last night also. We were having a very big quarrel and she asked me to go home. I stood up, turned and she held me by the arm to hold me back.
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Originally posted by goofyzell:
sort of.
Seems like she does not know what she wants in the relationship.
She can say break up, then when i turn and walked away, she can hold me back by my arm.
Like last night also. We were having a very big quarrel and she asked me to go home. I stood up, turned and she held me by the arm to hold me back.
Ultimatums should not be used so frivolously.
You need to make it very clear to her that the next time she issues another ultimatum again, she better mean what she says.Because you will no longer turn back. And make sure you stick by it.
This is YOUR ultimatum to her.
Some girls uses ultimatum to test their boyfriends. If they turn back.. it means they still have feelings for her. Unfotunately, this is a destructive behavior for any relationship.
While a relationship, no matter how strong the bond, is still very fragile when fought within.
Your girlfriend is extremely insecure. You will be constantly trying to "prove" your love.. but sadly.. you will find that no matter what you do.. it'll never be enough.
Some people will go through great lengths to make a relationship work.
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Almost every girl is perfect at the start of relationships. You should understand the gravity of your situation before you decide what action you should take. Your gf probably has a mild case of depression which explains her weird behavior all of a sudden. This is a perfect chance to dump her if you have someone else in mind but if you want to take this relationship further… You have to spent a hell lot of effort to show her you love her.
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Originally posted by Fbghost12:
Almost every girl is perfect at the start of relationships. You should understand the gravity of your situation before you decide what action you should take. Your gf probably has a mild case of depression which explains her weird behavior all of a sudden.
This is a perfect chance to dump her if you have someone else in mind
but if you want to take this relationship further… You have to spent a hell lot of effort to show her you love her.
god bless you for saying something like that (speaking to fbghost12)if one day you fall into the same situation as the girl, i'm sure you will appreciate such a comment and give thanks to the one who advised the same as you did.
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The girl isn't asking for comments so cannot thank. I'm giving advise to the guy only. The truth hurts.
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Originally posted by goofyzell:
sort of.
Seems like she does not know what she wants in the relationship.
She can say break up, then when i turn and walked away, she can hold me back by my arm.
Like last night also. We were having a very big quarrel and she asked me to go home. I stood up, turned and she held me by the arm to hold me back.
I can tell that you are getting tired. Well now that things have come to this, it is the best chance now to tell her to seperate for some time, to sort out her feelings as well as yours. If your heart is soft again, the cycle will repeat again, never ending. And i agree to Fbghost 12, although he may sound harsh (dumping her) however it is best now to seperate for a while, while using this period for things to cool down, regain the fire etc.
If you feel nothing has improved by then, i guess, you can make the utimate choice yourself.
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Originally posted by Fbghost12:
Almost every girl is perfect at the start of relationships. You should understand the gravity of your situation before you decide what action you should take. Your gf probably has a mild case of depression which explains her weird behavior all of a sudden. This is a perfect chance to dump her if you have someone else in mind but if you want to take this relationship further… You have to spent a hell lot of effort to show her you love her.
Me and her mum also thinks she has a mild case of depression. Her mum said that she will try to talk to her and bring her to see a counsellor.
And nope, i will not dump her. She has done nothing wrong to deserve it.
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Originally posted by TTFU:
I can tell that you are getting tired. Well now that things have come to this, it is the best chance now to tell her to seperate for some time, to sort out her feelings as well as yours. If your heart is soft again, the cycle will repeat again, never ending. And i agree to Fbghost 12, although he may sound harsh (dumping her) however it is best now to seperate for a while, while using this period for things to cool down, regain the fire etc.
If you feel nothing has improved by then, i guess, you can make the utimate choice yourself.
I am abit tired but i am not giving up. I am still very happy with her and I can also sense that actually she loves me alot.
Just that she likes to keep things and work stress to herself which me and her mum also feels that she is too overloaded and is starting to crack... Tried talking to her to talk to someone or see a counsellor but she refused. Now i can only leave it to her mum to try to talk to her and bring her to see a doc.