Originally posted by goofyzell:I'm a control freak?
look carefully. If you are inGood my situation, will you be confused?
I just wanna know our current stand. She can easily reply, she just like wat we are doing now. very comfortable n happy. yet she flares up, saying i am forcing her for an answer on whether when we are getting married and whether i am the right one which is not my intereadntion.
then she over reacted and got angry the whole night, now she blames our frequency, blames me. then ok, i'm the bad guy?
I've already told you before that you are her "rebound" right ?
Since you insist to persue this girl knowing you probably won't be the one, then what's there to be upset about ?
Let it go ba.. it's not meant to be de, force the relationship only make 2 person miserable.
Better luck next time dude. Peace.
zzzzzzzzzzzz
She has requested for a cool off
period to think, up to next wed...
To think of whether i am the right
one. She dun wan to waste my time if she thinks i am not the right
one.
also to think whether to continue or break
up.
She
has also admitted she has feelings for me.
She also said we can meet on sat or
sun for lunch if she misses me.
=.="
Originally posted by goofyzell:I'm a control freak?
look carefully. If you are in my situation, will you be confused?
I just wanna know our current stand. She can easily reply, she just like wat we are doing now. very comfortable n happy. yet she flares up, saying i am forcing her for an answer on whether when we are getting married and whether i am the right one which is not my intention.
then she over reacted and got angry the whole night, now she blames our frequency, blames me. then ok, i'm the bad guy?
Hey goofyzell,
I have been following your post. Haha. Anyway, from what i read, I think your girl is a very sensitive person and has some form of low self esteem? Usually such people would react very strongly and "think too much" into a very simple sentence.
Try this. Never say anything that is straight forward or anything which requires her to put herself at a risk to failure. They are very afraid of failures.
E.g. Do you think we will get married? <-- Do not say it this way.
Try/ Make up a story: I think it would be very shiok if we can get a flat around seng kang area cos its small. I would like to have a small nice family, 2 kids can already. Blabber on, revolve around the topic of marriage life.
But once you see her face start to react negatively, change topic! Say, want to watch movie? I always wanted to watch blah blah blah.
As for her very "dao" attitude when you called to remind her, don't bother about it. You will come across as petty. And when you bring it up to her, she will get more irritated.
Will wait for your updates. =)
Originally posted by goofyzell:She has requested for a cool off period to think, up to next wed...
To think of whether i am the right one. She dun wan to waste my time if she thinks i am not the right one.
also to think whether to continue or break up.
She has also admitted she has feelings for me.
She also said we can meet on sat or sun for lunch if she misses me.
=.="
Let her cool off then. In the mean time you can like, cook something for her and send it up to her house? But leave immediately after you pass to her. Maybe like that she can still think of you. Increase chance.
Originally posted by TYING:Hey goofyzell,
I have been following your post. Haha. Anyway, from what i read, I think your girl is a very sensitive person and has some form of low self esteem? Usually such people would react very strongly and "think too much" into a very simple sentence.
Try this. Never say anything that is straight forward or anything which requires her to put herself at a risk to failure. They are very afraid of failures.
E.g. Do you think we will get married? <-- Do not say it this way.
Try/ Make up a story: I think it would be very shiok if we can get a flat around seng kang area cos its small. I would like to have a small nice family, 2 kids can already. Blabber on, revolve around the topic of marriage life.
But once you see her face start to react negatively, change topic! Say, want to watch movie? I always wanted to watch blah blah blah.
As for her very "dao" attitude when you called to remind her, don't bother about it. You will come across as petty. And when you bring it up to her, she will get more irritated.
Will wait for your updates. =)
is it possible that her sensitivity and low self esteem due to her last 2 badly failed relationship?
Originally posted by TYING:Let her cool off then. In the mean time you can like, cook something for her and send it up to her house? But leave immediately after you pass to her. Maybe like that she can still think of you. Increase chance.
I think it might be abit too late, ya? She would most probably break off with me after she clear her thoughts after the quarrel over sensitive issues last nite...
She already said she dun wanna see me during weekends. She dun wan my presence to affect her decision. So even if i send something over, its about the same as i am there...
we didnt sms or call each other since 1.20AM today. she suddenly called me at 10 plus just now n we exchanged a few sentences. Shortly after the call, she dropped me a sms.
However in her facebook, she hide our relationship status away from her wall.
Really dunno wat she is thinking.
Dont think that much into what she is thinking. Anyway like what i said, treat it as a cool down period also. As time pass, maybe she will miss you and realise that you are a good guy etc. Dont meet her anymore during this period. If really the fire is there, trust me she will take the initiative to msg or call you. If she doesnt, then i guess plan B. Give up this relationship
i can see you put in much effort into this. however the target is unstable and you can't seem to understand her. it's like trying to pinpoint the location of a buoy in a turbulent sea. i don't have any advice as the other forumnites have already said a lot. just wish you good luck :)
Originally posted by TTFU:Dont think that much into what she is thinking. Anyway like what i said, treat it as a cool down period also. As time pass, maybe she will miss you and realise that you are a good guy etc. Dont meet her anymore during this period. If really the fire is there, trust me she will take the initiative to msg or call you. If she doesnt, then i guess plan B. Give up this relationship
She did sms me last nite. I purposely replied this morning and she also replied me back.
She said see me tml or next week ba. Go and have a gd rest today.
But then see her as a normal friend or bf? Let her make the 1st move when we meet?
Originally posted by goofyzell:She did sms me last nite. I purposely replied this morning and she also replied me back.
She said see me tml or next week ba. Go and have a gd rest today.
But then see her as a normal friend or bf? Let her make the 1st move when we meet?
So cruel.
Originally posted by goofyzell:She did sms me last nite. I purposely replied this morning and she also replied me back.
She said see me tml or next week ba. Go and have a gd rest today.
But then see her as a normal friend or bf? Let her make the 1st move when we meet?
Headache.... Jiu dont msg her see whats her reaction. Let her make her move first.
sometime a man gonna do what a man gonna do, just let her be, giving in too much to her will make her worst, and the thing is that if she really love you, you probably dun have to do anything other then showing her you true feelings for her and caring for her
I sent her a "hugs" sms, just "hugs" 4 letters only and 2 hours later, she replied saying she going to take a short nap. In her reply, she called me dear.
In the evening, her mum asked me over for dinner tml over the phone . My gf was beside her and heard the conversation. She didnt tell me not to go over when the phone was passed back to her.
Just ended the call with her(b4 sleep call) and she said i can go to her house anytime tml afternoon.
: )
nvm... she is still v cold to me...
Whats with the blowing hot and cold, does her mum know that you two are in this cool down period ? Aiya want cool down jiu few days dont contact, like that half half brings you to no-where.
goofyzell,
I'm stumped for words already. lol. Don't know how to help. The only thing i can think of now is take the initiative and tell her that you cannot take this kind of behavior anymore. Awhile with her being so passionate, awhile distancing herself from you by showing attitude. Ask her for an answer now, and tell her that you will respect her decision. You set the deadline, not her! Stop giving her the authority to decide your fate!
If she say she wants to continue, do remember to lay down the rules. No more blowing hot and cold. It is not very healthy for a relationship. And that this sort of attitude would only make the both of you miserable. If she say no, she wants to quit. Exit her life gracefully.
Wish you all the best. =)
Originally posted by TTFU:Whats with the blowing hot and cold, does her mum know that you two are in this cool down period ? Aiya want cool down jiu few days dont contact, like that half half brings you to no-where.
yes her mum knows. she was there when my gf blew her top. Her mum asked me to go home 1st while she try to talk to my gf.
She is the 1st one to call n sms leh....
Originally posted by TYING:goofyzell,
I'm stumped for words already. lol. Don't know how to help. The only thing i can think of now is take the initiative and tell her that you cannot take this kind of behavior anymore. Awhile with her being so passionate, awhile distancing herself from you by showing attitude. Ask her for an answer now, and tell her that you will respect her decision. You set the deadline, not her! Stop giving her the authority to decide your fate!
If she say she wants to continue, do remember to lay down the rules. No more blowing hot and cold. It is not very healthy for a relationship. And that this sort of attitude would only make the both of you miserable. If she say no, she wants to quit. Exit her life gracefully.
Wish you all the best. =)
Went to her house in the afternoon since her mum invited me over for dinner. Bought her lunch on the way. She showed me black, dull face all the way.
I got pissed off 2 hours later by her attitude and by all the negative things she said so I changed clothes to go home. As I walked to the door, she kept pulling me back, at the same time she kept saying sorry. I stopped at the main door and she said she prefers to be alone. I said, stop lying to yourself. If you really like to be alone, you wont have a bf at all.
After a few more exchange she broke down and cried. Calmed her down, asked her not to put too much stress on herself and persuaded her to take a nap as she said she is very tired. I can sense that she is very emotionally and physically tired.
She knocked out instantly when she is in bed. Few hours later, she woke up and a while later she is ok... Just like b4 the quarrel, maybe happier...
Hope it last... We will see how along the way...
I will still stand by what i said, maybe contact through phone and sms, but try not to meet in real life and let her have some time to think about things
Originally posted by goofyzell:Went to her house in the afternoon since her mum invited me over for dinner. Bought her lunch on the way. She showed me black, dull face all the way.
I got pissed off 2 hours later by her attitude and by all the negative things she said so I changed clothes to go home. As I walked to the door, she kept pulling me back, at the same time she kept saying sorry. I stopped at the main door and she said she prefers to be alone. I said, stop lying to yourself. If you really like to be alone, you wont have a bf at all.
After a few more exchange she broke down and cried. Calmed her down, asked her not to put too much stress on herself and persuaded her to take a nap as she said she is very tired. I can sense that she is very emotionally and physically tired.
She knocked out instantly when she is in bed. Few hours later, she woke up and a while later she is ok... Just like b4 the quarrel, maybe happier...
Hope it last... We will see how along the way...
If your girl is an emotionally uptight person, then i guess no matter how much calming down sessions or what would work ba. Maybe you make up your mind whether you want to be with her or not? Accept her for her emotional flaws, and deal with it one by one. Don't know if im saying the right thing or not also. =X
Originally posted by TTFU:I will still stand by what i said, maybe contact through phone and sms, but try not to meet in real life and let her have some time to think about things
think she is trying to avoid me in a way at the moment. seems abit cold at times.
she has also requested that she would like to have this coming sat to herself, just to rot at home, rest, listen to music. I told her I am ok with this...
She is ok with meeting up on Sunday.