If your close friend is also a good friend with your enemy
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no reason for ur frd to do such a ting for u.
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It's alright, I came here to ask for help and advices means I am prepared to listen to all your opinions.
People who chose to help and advise me, I truly appreciate them for their efforts and kindness shown to me.
People who chose to take advantage of me with harsh words and insults, I cannot blame them because that is their choice and their way of doing things in their lives.
I don't come here expecting any kindness from everyone because there is no value if I only expects kind comforting words from all.
Just all be yourself and leave it to me to absorb all the wisdom in your posts.
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me speek the truth.
eben if it's nt music to ur ears.
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Originally posted by Hello Kitty:
me speek the truth.
eben if it's nt music to ur ears.
Yes I know, you give your best advise in your own ways with your own wisdom and experience.I appreciate that.
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Life is a long journey, so expect some unexpected turns that may bring joy or sorrow.
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Originally posted by Clivebenss:
Life is a long journey, so expect some unexpected turns that may bring joy or sorrow.
I want to shorten my life and die young and beautiful and happy while and when I can. -
you have feelings, ur friends also have feelings. But i guess the truth is cruel, everyone only wants the best for themselves.
friends can be made easily but close friend cant. Made more friends is better rather than made more foes. why dont you settle with ur enemy first than with ur close friends.
i dont really know how to console a person becoz i always try to avoid this kind of situation. anyhow parn just cheer up and dont let this matter drag u down
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Originally posted by parn:
I want to shorten my life and die young and beautiful and happy while and when I can.
tat sounds dangerous.. hey parn. dun do rash things.. dun bother abt tat kitty or rooney la.. in case u dunno.. kitty is starting a bathing business and rooney gonna be 1st customer.. so the dog boy girl (gou3 nan2 nu) go around talking cock or rather barking together..honestly speaking there's nth such as true or eternal friends la.. the only ppl who would be eternal in ur life are those who are related to u by blood ties, ie. parents and siblings..
When u grow older u'll realise tat a lot of frens are those tat simply appears and disappears from ur life.. It's ur family tats gonna stay with u when u are faced with prob.. in particular ur parents.. doing urself harm is a stupid thing as they'll be hurt the most la.. not ur so called best frens or enemies..
Ponder carefully!
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Originally posted by multipleviews:
tat sounds dangerous.. hey parn. dun do rash things.. dun bother abt tat kitty or rooney la.. in case u dunno.. kitty is starting a bathing business and rooney gonna be 1st customer.. so the dog boy girl (gou3 nan2 nu) go around talking cock or rather barking together..honestly speaking there's nth such as true or eternal friends la.. the only ppl who would be eternal in ur life are those who are related to u by blood ties, ie. parents and siblings..
When u grow older u'll realise tat a lot of frens are those tat simply appears and disappears from ur life.. It's ur family tats gonna stay with u when u are faced with prob.. in particular ur parents.. doing urself harm is a stupid thing as they'll be hurt the most la.. not ur so called best frens or enemies..
Ponder carefully!
Don't worry, I'm not upset or angry or sad or depress. I'm feeling at peace with myself in my own heart, and I felt happy if I couldn't wake up tomorrow and in the future.I know where I will be and it's not that scary at all.
I really hope I can die young when I'm beautiful and happy.
Sometimes I wished I am the heroine of the tragic drama when I will die young and beautiful in the end....hehehehehe.
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Sometimes i wish i am superhero !!! aiyo i still want carry my grandson leh, die young for wat......... want so preety for wat, i want to see myself full of wrinkles and no teeth face.
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Originally posted by parn:
Don't worry, I'm not upset or angry or sad or depress. I'm feeling at peace with myself in my own heart, and I felt happy if I couldn't wake up tomorrow and in the future.I know where I will be and it's not that scary at all.
I really hope I can die young when I'm beautiful and happy.
Sometimes I wished I am the heroine of the tragic drama when I will die young and beautiful in the end....hehehehehe.
so poetic ar.. dun be so sad la.. if u rly knows tat u wont be waking up tomorrow and on the last night u need ppl to accompany u just PM me okay?haha. I make sure after the night u pray u wont leave the world forever so as to enjoy all the funs.. lol.. just joking la..
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Originally posted by parn:
What do you feel?
What will you do?
What can you do?
Why must people be so selfish because they wanted the best of both worlds by being my friend and the friend of my enemy?
I don't really know how to accept it.....quite upset about it since 2 days ago.
Can someone help me please?
What happened that made the person your enemy back then ?
If it's just a no big deal, it's not likely your best friend see it reason enough to also "hate" your enemy.
Whatever that "enemy" did to you, she didn't do it to your best friend. Why?
If your best friend is able to make a friend out of your enemy, then obviously, that enemy wasn't that "bad" afterall.
Perhaps between you and your "enemy" is just a misunderstanding. Its up to you to resolve this conflict once and for all.
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I pity her friend more, caught between a fire. and now she wants her friend to side her? shakes head.
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Originally posted by jojobeach:
What happened that made the person your enemy back then ?
If it's just a no big deal, it's not likely your best friend see it reason enough to also "hate" your enemy.
Whatever that "enemy" did to you, she didn't do it to your best friend. Why?
If your best friend is able to make a friend out of your enemy, then obviously, that enemy wasn't that "bad" afterall.
Perhaps between you and your "enemy" is just a misunderstanding. Its up to you to resolve this conflict once and for all.
A guy want to know me, enemy likes the guy. I'm only normal friend with the guy. Enemy spread rumours about me to guy. Guy got brainwashed by enemy. Enemy became guy's girlfriend. My close friend and I used to be friends with enemy and the guy. Guy and enemy stopped becoming my friend. My close friend tried asking enemy and guy why they do such a thing to me, enemy and guy don't want to tell my close friend.So is this a misunderstanding? Should I be the person who is begging to resolve this conflict when I'm the victim?
Good for you if you had never been in such situation before.
But please advise me how did you handle it if you were in such situation in the past.
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Originally posted by parn:
A guy want to know me, enemy likes the guy. I'm only normal friend with the guy. Enemy spread rumours about me to guy. Guy got brainwashed by enemy. Enemy became guy's girlfriend. My close friend and I used to be friends with enemy and the guy. Guy and enemy stopped becoming my friend. My close friend tried asking enemy and guy why they do such a thing to me, enemy and guy don't want to tell my close friend.So is this a misunderstanding? Should I be the person who is begging to resolve this conflict when I'm the victim?
Good for you if you had never been in such situation before.
But please advise me how did you handle it if you were in such situation in the past.
i say fk em.
u know 他们的水准alr
the guy oni has this much substance in him
dont nid care about them anymore.
as for ur fren
u know she's on ur side one la.
so hor
i'd say u no nid do anything.
u have done nth wrong.
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Originally posted by parn:
A guy want to know me, enemy likes the guy. I'm only normal friend with the guy. Enemy spread rumours about me to guy. Guy got brainwashed by enemy. Enemy became guy's girlfriend. My close friend and I used to be friends with enemy and the guy. Guy and enemy stopped becoming my friend. My close friend tried asking enemy and guy why they do such a thing to me, enemy and guy don't want to tell my close friend.So is this a misunderstanding? Should I be the person who is begging to resolve this conflict when I'm the victim?
Good for you if you had never been in such situation before.
But please advise me how did you handle it if you were in such situation in the past.
Well Parn, I've been through much of this kind of situations.
I have lots of guy friends. Many girls find me a threat. That's why I prefer to keep a few good girl friends by my side who don't share the same taste for guys as me.
That gal sees you as a threat. And she is insecure, perhaps because of your great beauty or charisma ( just an assumption).
You are not a victim. In fact you are the benefactor of your 'enemy's" jealousy towards you. A gullible guy best suits a manipulative gal, give them your blessings.
As for your "best" friend, downgrade her to become your "insider" friend.
The best revenge is to live a better happier life. This "insider" gal friend of yours can be your bearer of news. Perhaps she enjoys being a double agent.. is she a gossipy type?
Best friends comes and goes, you should be keeping more than one social circle. Never put your eggs in one basket.
To trust a friend or not, depends not on how loyal she is to you, rather it's her personality/integrity that counts.
Play well my fwen.
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Originally posted by parn:
I didn't say I need my friends to stay far far away from my enemies. Kitty is the one who said that and I don't expect that to happen.I would like my friend to help both me and my enemy to resolve and clear up any misunderstandings between us.
How come your world is so violent one......like parn like that......
??????? -
Originally posted by parn:
It's not selfish at all, since they are my friends then I expect them to stand by me as I am expected to stand by them in times of need.If you don't expect your friends to stand by you but you don't mind to stand by them. Then congratulations, cos you might be going to Heaven when you die because you can use this act of selflessness to argue your way into Heaven...probably.
Maybe you don't really have friends who would stand by you in times of need, that's why you think it's not important.
But that would be really sad and I will feel really sorry for you.
Yes I'm right, you're selfish
It's as good as asking your friend to take sides
They can be your friend and stand by you for support, but that doesn't mean they should avoid their other friend who is your enemy so to speak
What you are saying is if they are your friend, they shouldn't be friends with the other person you don't like.
I think I most probably have more friends who will stand by me than you do
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u want to fight n die over someone???..................thinks everyone should go down and have a plate of nice pepper crabs wiv rice......even cold crabs from shing shiong taste good.
one yer tummy is satisfied.....ya dun need to fight n kill yerself.
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Originally posted by parn:
A guy want to know me, enemy likes the guy. I'm only normal friend with the guy. Enemy spread rumours about me to guy. Guy got brainwashed by enemy. Enemy became guy's girlfriend. My close friend and I used to be friends with enemy and the guy. Guy and enemy stopped becoming my friend. My close friend tried asking enemy and guy why they do such a thing to me, enemy and guy don't want to tell my close friend.So is this a misunderstanding? Should I be the person who is begging to resolve this conflict when I'm the victim?
Good for you if you had never been in such situation before.
But please advise me how did you handle it if you were in such situation in the past.
The Enemy really a bitch. No reason to clear the misunderstanding, since she is the one who started all this crap first. Backstabbing people in the back really. And as for your friend. Make it clear to her that you dont like this enemy, however it is fact that you cant stop her from making friends with your enemy, since your enemy did not betray/ bitch your friend in some sorrt.
If your friend is really a friend, then i guess she will avoid her when she is with you or something. Caring about your feelings, if no, then dump this friend into the dustbin
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Originally posted by elindra:
Yes I'm right, you're selfish
It's as good as asking your friend to take sides
They can be your friend and stand by you for support, but that doesn't mean they should avoid their other friend who is your enemy so to speak
What you are saying is if they are your friend, they shouldn't be friends with the other person you don't like.
I think I most probably have more friends who will stand by me than you do
No you're wrong, it's not selfish if you have read my later posts.
Don't feel bad about it, I also wished I could agree with you.
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Originally posted by parn:
It's not selfish at all, since they are my friends then I expect them to stand by me as I am expected to stand by them in times of need.If you don't expect your friends to stand by you but you don't mind to stand by them. Then congratulations, cos you might be going to Heaven when you die because you can use this act of selflessness to argue your way into Heaven...probably.
Maybe you don't really have friends who would stand by you in times of need, that's why you think it's not important.
But that would be really sad and I will feel really sorry for you.
Au contraire.
It is highly selfish of you to expect your friend to take sides. While I still stick by saying that real friends care about each other's feelings, real friends don't take advantage of each other and respect the fact that their friends are individuals of their own.
You still don't understand why people here have lambasted you for being selfish. I don't mean to flame you, but you have consistently failed, throughout the whole course of this thread, to be rational and pragmatic about the whole situation. You think that friendship entails the obligation by one party to support another party regardless of the situation.
Put yourself in your friend's shoes for a moment and stop thinking about your own needs. If you were your friend who has no bad blood between Enemy and you (let's call you OP) and are forced to give up or compromise the friendship with the enemy just because OP has bad blood with said enemy, then what about your own rights and freedom of choice?
Don't you see that by childishly and selfishly demanding that your friends understand you to support you (regardless of anything) "because that's what friends should do", then I'm sorry to say that you, young lady (or gentleman), are terribly naive and deluded.
You are too blinded by your selfish, superior sense of twisted loyalty that you have failed to realize the injustice of your actions. Before you even judge your friends... have you taken it upon yourself to judge your own character?
In case you're not aware, there are actually people in the world who don't take sides out of loyalty. I myself have fallen out of friendship with many people, and still have friends who are friends with those I have fallen out of friendship with. While I am aware that it is to my disadvantage because I am only one person and the people I have fallen out with are aplenty, I cannot possibly force my remaining friends to take sides with me and abandon friendship with the other friends just because I need more people on my side. I have to respect them as individuals- on top of that, I have faith in them that they will not betray me for the other party, and that they will act in accordance with a mutually-beneficial, just manner when it comes to dealing with both sides. And for me, I am happy with such friends. I don't care if they are friends with the enemy, as long as the enemy is mature and doesn't play dirty, I won't resort to harmful or selfish methods to guard my existence and friendships. In a nutshell, I trust and love my friends. Do you?
And that is why I said to you earlier- if you don't have enough faith in your current friends, then unfriend them. You also mentioned that your so called friends don't want to care to help ameliorate the situation, and that makes it even more logical for you to drop them. If they are true friends, they will care about your feelings and try to work together to a compromise. That doesn't necessarily mean that they have to give up their rights and freedom to friendship with anyone else, though, just so you know. If you still insist on having friends to do that FOR you... then I think people like them are better off without you, and you, better off without people like them. You can also take this opportunity to find your own circle of like-minded people and you guys can go selfishly support each other in vain and blind loyalty.
If not, take this as friendly advice from someone who will predict your downfall should you continue to approach other people with such a selfish mindset.
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Originally posted by jojobeach:
Well Parn, I've been through much of this kind of situations.
I have lots of guy friends. Many girls find me a threat. That's why I prefer to keep a few good girl friends by my side who don't share the same taste for guys as me.
That gal sees you as a threat. And she is insecure, perhaps because of your great beauty or charisma ( just an assumption).
You are not a victim. In fact you are the benefactor of your 'enemy's" jealousy towards you. A gullible guy best suits a manipulative gal, give them your blessings.
As for your "best" friend, downgrade her to become your "insider" friend.
The best revenge is to live a better happier life. This "insider" gal friend of yours can be your bearer of news. Perhaps she enjoys being a double agent.. is she a gossipy type?
Best friends comes and goes, you should be keeping more than one social circle. Never put your eggs in one basket.
To trust a friend or not, depends not on how loyal she is to you, rather it's her personality/integrity that counts.
Play well my fwen.
An interesting display of tactics and sneakiness, jojobeach. Very interesting indeed, though I must say that I disapprove of such actions, because in the long run, the user ends up as a wretched, despicable creature, ruled by paranoia with only malice in his or her heart. People become objects of manipulation and pawns in a political power play. We have enough shitty politics in this world as it is; we don't need to transform more irate individuals into scheming, manipulative people plotting each other's downfalls or spying here and there. It's better to be honest and fair when dealing with enemies. If it is impossible, go far far away. Cut them out from your life. Act as if they don't exist. That is the path I chose, and it's the least tiresome for both parties.
The best way to resolve this issue is to dig deep down to the matter between enemy and OP and resolve it first before bringing friends into the equation. People are human beings, and it is important to respect and treat them as equals, or, at least, a fellow human being instead of a tool or pawn.
Just my 2 cents.
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Originally posted by ���ら�:
Au contraire.
It is highly selfish of you to expect your friend to take sides. While I still stick by saying that real friends care about each other's feelings, real friends don't take advantage of each other and respect the fact that their friends are individuals of their own.
You still don't understand why people here have lambasted you for being selfish. I don't mean to flame you, but you have consistently failed, throughout the whole course of this thread, to be rational and pragmatic about the whole situation. You think that friendship entails the obligation by one party to support another party regardless of the situation.
Put yourself in your friend's shoes for a moment and stop thinking about your own needs. If you were your friend who has no bad blood between Enemy and you (let's call you OP) and are forced to give up or compromise the friendship with the enemy just because OP has bad blood with said enemy, then what about your own rights and freedom of choice?
Don't you see that by childishly and selfishly demanding that your friends understand you to support you (regardless of anything) "because that's what friends should do", then I'm sorry to say that you, young lady (or gentleman), are terribly naive and deluded.
You are too blinded by your selfish, superior sense of twisted loyalty that you have failed to realize the injustice of your actions. Before you even judge your friends... have you taken it upon yourself to judge your own character?
In case you're not aware, there are actually people in the world who don't take sides out of loyalty. I myself have fallen out of friendship with many people, and still have friends who are friends with those I have fallen out of friendship with. While I am aware that it is to my disadvantage because I am only one person and the people I have fallen out with are aplenty, I cannot possibly force my remaining friends to take sides with me and abandon friendship with the other friends just because I need more people on my side. I have to respect them as individuals- on top of that, I have faith in them that they will not betray me for the other party, and that they will act in accordance with a mutually-beneficial, just manner when it comes to dealing with both sides. And for me, I am happy with such friends. I don't care if they are friends with the enemy, as long as the enemy is mature and doesn't play dirty, I won't resort to harmful or selfish methods to guard my existence and friendships. In a nutshell, I trust and love my friends. Do you?
And that is why I said to you earlier- if you don't have enough faith in your current friends, then unfriend them. You also mentioned that your so called friends don't want to care to help ameliorate the situation, and that makes it even more logical for you to drop them. If they are true friends, they will care about your feelings and try to work together to a compromise. That doesn't necessarily mean that they have to give up their rights and freedom to friendship with anyone else, though, just so you know. If you still insist on having friends to do that FOR you... then I think people like them are better off without you, and you, better off without people like them. You can also take this opportunity to find your own circle of like-minded people and you guys can go selfishly support each other in vain and blind loyalty.
If not, take this as friendly advice from someone who will predict your downfall should you continue to approach other people with such a selfish mindset.
I can accept the fact that you do not have any true friends in your lives. And you constantly need to suppress your own disappointment by convincing yourself that you cannot be selfish.I don't blame you for what you have posted. True friends are rare, and for people who don't have true friends would never experience or know the meaning of 义气. Not referring to those violent gangster type of 义气 please, but 义气 in the name of friendship.
It's amusing but also sad to know that it is so possible for a person's biased opinion of another can actually influence and distort his outlook about life itself.
Many people doing the wrong things or not doing the right things, still doesn't make up to one right thing to do. Many wrong opinions doesn't compares/equal/come close to one justice opinion.
I am a true friend to all my friends, and they would never misunderstood me like you and many others in here.
I think you just need true friends in your life that's all.
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Originally posted by ���ら�:
An interesting display of tactics and sneakiness, jojobeach. Very interesting indeed, though I must say that I disapprove of such actions, because in the long run, the user ends up as a wretched, despicable creature, ruled by paranoia with only malice in his or her heart. People become objects of manipulation and pawns in a political power play. We have enough shitty politics in this world as it is; we don't need to transform more irate individuals into scheming, manipulative people plotting each other's downfalls or spying here and there. It's better to be honest and fair when dealing with enemies. If it is impossible, go far far away. Cut them out from your life. Act as if they don't exist. That is the path I chose, and it's the least tiresome for both parties.
The best way to resolve this issue is to dig deep down to the matter between enemy and OP and resolve it first before bringing friends into the equation. People are human beings, and it is important to respect and treat them as equals, or, at least, a fellow human being instead of a tool or pawn.
Just my 2 cents.
You just need to have true friends in your lives who would allow you to experience what is 义气 in non-violence friendships.Please be more generous with your friends and don't give only 2 cents to them. If you are stingy and can only afford to give 2 cents to your friends, then of course you cannot have any true friends.
I would like to ask you to keep the change to yourself to avoid causing any further humiliation to yourself and your friends.