try meat tenderiser???dunno if it werks on humans....umm...best u see doctor bout it.
Case of Genophobia
Originally posted by jojobeach:Guys in this forums are sickos.
If she is expriencing pain from attempted penetration, she will not be in any MOOD to have penetrative sex, with or without lubricants or vibrator.
The act of forced penetration becomes mechanical, she will hate you for being so fucking selfish!!
Does it matter who breaks the hymen if a doctor surgically assisting it ? Get a female doctor if you are so blardy possesive about being the first man to breaking the hymen.
It's just a piece of skin you bunch of morons.
thats from your perspective....i think its rather fucking selfish for sluts to say that...
see it from the guys views as well...do not expect guys to keep understanding when there is no proactive solutions...
GET THE FAMILY MEMBERS TO TALK SENSE INTO HER....of course diplomatically....
Dear All,
Thanks all for the constructive input.
Will try ways forumers have put in here.
Nevertheless I have tried lubricants, fingering and making sure she is not dry before any penetrative intimacy. Even got her to drink a bit of wine to relax herself and to set the mood right. Whenever we get to the penetrative part it just stop there.
She complained pain and said my manhood is too big for her. I am Not boasting and I think I have the average asian chinese size. In the last round of intimacy a few mths ago, thinking subconsciously what she had said, i purposely squeezed 1/2 tube of lubricant on my manhood and her as well. Results was frustating unsuccssful again.
Now I have lost all my mood to make any intimacy with her but i still love her and care for her. Nevertheless I will try once more.
Thanks everyone for the input again.
Hi Lim, I am not trying to be dirty minded...just to know it is that you need children? Same as your wife? Or only just want to have sex, that's all?
If want to have childre, maybe you can release your sperm around her virginal area and let your sperm swim inwards to find the eggs..of course she needs to lift up her leg for a while...
Should see a family counsuellor.
Originally posted by gunner77:Start slow 1st la
Ask her to BJ you 1st.
Then finger her, get her ready.
Then insert and let ur dickhead say hello.
u muz be doing that to ashley,felicia right
TS,
In my opinion, it appears on the surface to be ''physical'' but belies the emotional disequilibrium and psychological stress.
A doctor wont help except pile upon another layer of ''what to be and what not to be'' and try to have one fit - especially psychologically! However, one has to factor in this - she is an individual and unique.
Some here suggested means and ways to indulge in ... and frankly it is dehumanizing the other lah. It is fine if your spouse is amenable to this ....
trying is not wise cos it has conditions that has to be fulfilled before one loves or accepts or what have you. Love heals and it embodies being compassionate and the ability to emphatize with another.
Acceptance is freeing and let me reiterate that it presupposes that you are yourself accepting of what u are.
or probably due to her religion....she feel that it is dirty to have sex...something like that.
TS,
I think u are approaching this the Wrong Way.......
I think you need 2 think outside the box and take a different approach........SEX is one Word --- Engjoy.
Your Goal ---First is to get her interested in SEX and not put SEX as a "Problems" See the shift in perspective.
You see she is not the problems. You cannot put her in a state of mind where she is the problems.......She just have a different way to express and enjoy SEX and does not mean both of you cannot enjoy SEX .......So u need to back off and changed your attitude.
Talked to her and apologized for the forcesfulness. Back off so that she feel safe. No Woman is going to enjoy SEX if she don't feel safe. Not especially YOUR WIFE. She needs to talk about her fear regards to this topics to you. So make her feel safe to openly "Talk" not before SEX but regular talking.
The minute she knows you are trying to woo her for SEX....u loose the SEX game....
Important thing to KNOW....
Do you know what are the quality that she is attracted to YOU.....Do you know what are the things you do that make her feel safe. Do you know what make her feel sexy?
STILL need to talk to a female Doctor to understand her condition?
Remember this does not mean she is the problems. She may have a very sensitive nerves....either way both of you need to understand as a COUPLE from a doctor perspective and do some MRI imagine.
Understand You don't need to have children thru SEX.
Remember this is not her problem. She Maybe expressing different way of enjoying SEX but certainly not her problems. Therefore if you need alternative way such as Orally or other method so be it U must make her feel that it is not her fault or not her problems and u are enjoying as much as she does.
We are all make up differently. Look at the bright side you are not going to have the boring tradditional missionary SEX.
Originally posted by Fcukpap:thats from your perspective....i think its rather fucking selfish for sluts to say that...
see it from the guys views as well...do not expect guys to keep understanding when there is no proactive solutions...
GET THE FAMILY MEMBERS TO TALK SENSE INTO HER....of course diplomatically....
Are you speaking from a perspective of having a Vagina ? or you are just pissing off with Jojobeach?
Originally posted by Arapahoe:TS,
I think u are approaching this the Wrong Way.......
I think you need 2 think outside the box and take a different approach........SEX is one Word --- Engjoy.
Your Goal ---First is to get her interested in SEX and not put SEX as a "Problems" See the shift in perspective.
You see she is not the problems. You cannot put her in a state of mind where she is the problems.......She just have a different way to express and enjoy SEX and does not mean both of you cannot enjoy SEX .......So u need to back off and changed your attitude.
Talked to her and apologized for the forcesfulness. Back off so that she feel safe. No Woman is going to enjoy SEX if she don't feel safe. Not especially YOUR WIFE. She needs to talk about her fear regards to this topics to you. So make her feel safe to openly "Talk" not before SEX but regular talking.
The minute she knows you are trying to woo her for SEX....u loose the SEX game....
Important thing to KNOW....
Do you know what are the quality that she is attracted to YOU.....Do you know what are the things you do that make her feel safe. Do you know what make her feel sexy?
STILL need to talk to a female Doctor to understand her condition?
Remember this does not mean she is the problems. She may have a very sensitive nerves....either way both of you need to understand as a COUPLE from a doctor perspective and do some MRI imagine.
Understand You don't need to have children thru SEX.
Remember this is not her problem. She Maybe expressing different way of enjoying SEX but certainly not her problems. Therefore if you need alternative way such as Orally or other method so be it U must make her feel that it is not her fault or not her problems and u are enjoying as much as she does.
We are all make up differently. Look at the bright side you are not going to have the boring tradditional missionary SEX.
You say so much but it easier said than done and what is the way to do it after all those suggestions. I think she has psychological fear of sex, that why she is afraid and say her husband is too big even though he said he isn't. And she doesn't want to see a doctor.
The worst case scenerio that you may wish to try at your own account perhape is to push it in further....
Since there are so many SEX expert in this thread....Can anyone tell me how many medical reason to result Painful during SEX?
Woman can have anyone of this reason......that is beyond psychological.
· Vaginismus. This is a common condition in which there is a spasm in the vaginal muscles, mainly caused by the fear of being hurt.
· Vaginal infections. These conditions are common and include yeast infections.
· Problems with the cervix (opening to the uterus). In this case, the penis can reach the cervix at maximum penetration, so problems with the cervix (such as infections) can cause pain during deep penetration.
· Problems with the uterus. These problems may include fibroids that can cause deep intercourse pain.
· Endometriosis. A condition in which the endometrium (tissue lining the uterus) grows outside the uterus.
· Problems with the ovaries. Such problems might include cysts on the ovaries.
· Pelvic inflammatory disease. The tissues deep inside become badly inflamed and the pressure of intercourse causes deep pain.
· Ectopic pregnancy. A pregnancy in which a fertilized egg develops outside of the uterus.
· Menopause. The vaginal lining can lose its normal moisture and become dry.
Originally posted by Icygecko84:You say so much but it easier said than done and what is the way to do it after all those suggestions. I think she has psychological fear of sex, that why she is afraid and say her husband is too big even though he said he isn't. And she doesn't want to see a doctor.
If you married a person....Do u brush it off...or do you take extra effort?
Originally posted by Arapahoe:Since there are so many SEX expert in this thread....Can anyone tell me how many medical reason to result Painful during SEX?
Woman can have anyone of this reason......that is beyond psychological.
· Vaginismus. This is a common condition in which there is a spasm in the vaginal muscles, mainly caused by the fear of being hurt.
· Vaginal infections. These conditions are common and include yeast infections.
· Problems with the cervix (opening to the uterus). In this case, the penis can reach the cervix at maximum penetration, so problems with the cervix (such as infections) can cause pain during deep penetration.
· Problems with the uterus. These problems may include fibroids that can cause deep intercourse pain.
· Endometriosis. A condition in which the endometrium (tissue lining the uterus) grows outside the uterus.
· Problems with the ovaries. Such problems might include cysts on the ovaries.
· Pelvic inflammatory disease. The tissues deep inside become badly inflamed and the pressure of intercourse causes deep pain.
· Ectopic pregnancy. A pregnancy in which a fertilized egg develops outside of the uterus.
· Menopause. The vaginal lining can lose its normal moisture and become dry.
These are the reason why women should go for regular checkup with a gynaecologist.
A yearly pap smear and a peep inside her vagina is important to ensure there is no abnormal changes inside.
To, Mr VlimJ, when was the last time your wife went for a gynae visit ? I think she is due for a pysical for her own health.
It seems that she has no problem with wanting to have sex, up to that point.
So it could be what works with the other three ex, do not work with this time. Instead of the de rigueur foreplay and the eagerness for penetration, TS should just play and have fun on bed, tickle, joke, laugh, caress, cause her neow neow, slowly see how far she is willing to go. Caressing her neck, causing goose pimples, sucking her inner thighs near the knees and see how she screams, and how much she can take. Just play and have fun. Trying finger first, if she allows. Hint, if a baby's head can come out of the vagina, a dickhead is nothing.
If she amenable all along, part the labia and place the dickhead there. Just place it there, no penetration. See how it goes. If fear hits, stop. If not, see how far it can go.
If after a few attempts, its still no go beyond that point, then its time to see the doctor.
Both need to see a doctor.
A GP or a shrink.
But she will not accept that suggestion from her husband. The moment the husband broach the subject, = quarrel.
So it must be someone else she also respects, like a good friend, or a counselor (religious or social).
The problem then will be that of letting a personal matter get out. She may resent that.
Then that guy has a problem.
True, bring yr wife and consult a doctor.
Go for sex talk organised by KK hospital.
Let yr wife understand more about sex.
Originally posted by Arapahoe:If you married a person....Do u brush it off...or do you take extra effort?
JLimV did like everything. He restrain from sexual relations before he married his gf even though he had sex with his previous gfs. Can anyone do that easily? If i had sex with my previous gf, my normal reaction is i probably would feel unhappy if my current gf don't let me have sex with her. After 9 months and a honeymoon at a romantic resort beach hotel. Still rejected. Ask her to see a doctor. Made a big fuss and had an tiff over it several times. I was just saying if i were JLimV and did all this, isn't all this extra effort. If i did all these extra effort and nothing came out of it. And i can't solve it because my wife is not uncooperative, do i go on in this marriage being frustrated? People have needs and wants leh. you keep on getting rejected of all people your wife, who is supposed to be the closest to you. How can you take it for long man. And don't forget they haven't consummated their wedding yet. And it been like i guess a year already.
Within the Catholic Church, a marriage that has not yet been consummated, regardless of the reason for non-consummation, can be dissolved by the Pope. Additionally, an inability or an intention to refuse to consummate the marriage is probable grounds for an annulment.
Imagine she is Catholic? Isn't it sacrilegious..
Originally posted by Icygecko84:JLimV did like everything. He restrain from sexual relations before he married his gf even though he had sex with his previous gfs. Can anyone do that easily? If i had sex with my previous gf, my normal reaction is i probably would feel unhappy if my current gf don't let me have sex with her. After 9 months and a honeymoon at a romantic resort beach hotel. Still rejected. Ask her to see a doctor. Made a big fuss and had an tiff over it several times. I was just saying if i were JLimV and did all this, isn't all this extra effort. If i did all these extra effort and nothing came out of it. And i can't solve it because my wife is not uncooperative, do i go on in this marriage being frustrated? People have needs and wants leh. you keep on getting rejected of all people your wife, who is supposed to be the closest to you. How can you take it for long man. And don't forget they haven't consummated their wedding yet. And it been like i guess a year already.
Within the Catholic Church, a marriage that has not yet been consummated, regardless of the reason for non-consummation, can be dissolved by the Pope. Additionally, an inability or an intention to refuse to consummate the marriage is probable grounds for an annulment.
Imagine she is Catholic? Isn't it sacrilegious..
Why you're so work out if the marriage is consummate or not ......and finding excuse to annulment the marriage because of SEX? If TS is a Catholics than the Vow Read before GOD....would be enough to stay married with or without SEX.
You seemed to gear towards the seperation of the relationship and avoid the FACT Finding.
i am asking TS to "deepen" the relationship with his Wife....I mean How perfect is TS? Who know TS might have Early Ejeculation problems. nobody is perfect. So why Jump into seperation because of 9 months of unsuccessful SEX.
All it says is that TS and Wife have not found the path to enjoy each other thru traditional means.
why don't the TS ask the wife to do blow job for him instead?
i can only say you are a very patient man and good husband. please stay the same. not many people in this world can be like you.
You wife will learn to appreciate your patience in the future
it takes two hands to clap...i suppose...
no one should expect another to be patient ...this is not a KPI session....why should we evaluate like how we did in work for performance....that is degrading the purity and pleasure of relationships
Look at all the male blaming here. Calling males sickos/ perverts just because he wanted to have sex with his wife, calling males selfish.
sex is a natural and physiological act...those who ignore it are deemed to be either ignorant as a "human" or sheer hypocrite