My Girlfriend is not a virgin how?
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So sad, boy...
He may need some advice... for that is his first GF~...
But maybe, mark, u mind too much...
If u read more magz, many counsellors out there will always advise girls NOT to tell their past to their present bf...
they are taking the chances of being dumped, being look dwn on.... jus bcoz they have sex b4??
Lets say the girl love her ex very much... if nothings goes wrong with the relationship, will u have the chance to be with her now? let alone being bothered by 'whether she's virgin or not'.....
Think back when u first fall in love with her... what do u like her for?? for her virginity??
if so, u should let her go... many others guys will be happy enuff to be with her ,protect her, for she's such a honest girl.. -
hey girls like sleeping around too.
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oh... consider the number of girls sleeping ard compare to the number of guys??Originally posted by AzRaeL:hey girls like sleeping around too. -
oh... consider the number of girls sleeping ard compare to the number of guys??Originally posted by AzRaeL:hey girls like sleeping around too. -
ok, they like sleeping around.Originally posted by floppy_zee:oh... consider the number of girls sleeping ard compare to the number of guys??
just not as much.
happy now? -
im really grateful for the positive advice by you guys outhere except for those who jus try to be nasty and say nasty things..
ive seen through the dead corners of this problem.. thanks alot
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Good for you! Sounds like you know what to do! Your girlfriend sounds like a lovely girl, to be mature enough to get along with your family as well. She obviously loves you lor..
I wish you both well!!
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hi Gogo i understand how u feel abt this issue cos i share the same opinion about chasity as you.. it is really sad that our chinese culture has been washed away by the westernization that is happening here in singapore.. for the girls out there pls dont be foolish and give up ur chasity because of a moment's hormonal rage that wil wash ur mind.. u all must be careful as the decision u make at that point of time that will need a long and tough time to heal if its a wrong decision.. jus like wat happen to my gf.. im lucky cos our foundation of our love is strong enough to hold me back from the urge to leave.. which i will regret for i will not be able to find someone who will love me as much as her.. girls pls be responsibe to urself ur family and future husband.. u might think it is too conservative for a modern time society but take a step back and look at it.. is it a babaric behaviour if we humans (not only chinese) are polygamus.. i cant say that i've got over it 100% but trust me i dont deserve this.. on the other hand i apologise to all u there who had been hurt by us guys ; u all dont deserve this..Originally posted by gogogogo:
Mark, you are the one who is going to make the final decision.
I do not know the age of the guys posting over here. Seems like i have lost touch with this world.
But remember this, no matter what a girl do or how she loves a guy who was her ex or present steady, she cannot loose her virginity before marriage. No matter how tempting a situation might be, no matter how modern this city is!
Remember how our parents used to teach us, our forefathers and their father's father? Remember our customary traditions? What have we become? Well, unless you are not Chinese.
I understand that Mark must love this gf of his very much, else he will not even bother to post his problem here and seek advice. Mark would have rejected his gf straight. But from most of the postings from the guys here, you ppl are indirectly encouraging such acceptance. You know what will happen if every girl in this world feel that guys do not bother much about their chaste? Gals will start losing it just to maintain a relationship or to gain trust from their beloved bf! This is wrong!
Forumers here listen up, face the truth. If the same thing happen to you and if you are in Mark's shoes, would you do the same? So great, unselfish and generous? Think again.
i therefore conclude that if we are responsible for our family our spouses and most importantly ourselves we can save alot of unneeded hurt of feelings and disappoinments .. for the guys out there who cheating girls of their feelings and chasity i've got something for u guys... GO FUCK URSELVES SHAME on YOU..
(sorry for my language.. i dont have enuff vocabulary to express my feelings) -
SINCE THE PERSON IS FRUSTRATED ENOUGH, ALL OF THOSE TALKING RUBBISH AND SCOLDING HIM JUST SHUT UP! CAnt bliv how insensitve u ppl are.. before talking, pls imagine ur spouse having sex wif one of their exs. Put yourselves in HIS shoes!
yeah.. itz a liberal society now. BUT not every guy dares admit that he minds their gf being non-virgins. All of u who blatantly say he doesnt love her/he is a loser, etc etc... are then the losers..
I personally feel that most of u guys out there keep saying u dun mind ur gfs being non-virgins...*bleah* but in the end after marriage, when u all quarrel, bet u all will use that to blame ur wives. Admit all of ur selfishness. Dun u guys go to sammyboy's forum too? so many men out there go geyland find prostitutes too. how abt those who have flings? b4 insulting many singapore women for being non-virgins, first insult sexually-deprived men. -
Mark
it's refresing to see someone air his thoughts esp over a matter like this. Some call u childish or self-centred etc which is rubbish.
Many ppl share your prob esp when it comes to conflict wif their own morals. But life never gives you what you want, hope you can get over this and put the past behind not easy though. Good luck! -
Everything has its beauty but not everyone sees it.Originally posted by m@rk:i understand that it is not that impt. but it is very bothering to me.. w=always when im not witrh her and when im all alone by myself i would think abt the happy times that we are together.. then suddenly a disturbing image of her having sex with her ex. it spoils the whole thing.. its very taxing and it drains me out.. i need to voice this out... i love my girlfriend and there is a 90 percent chance of me marrying her.. but how do i handle all those thoughts?
Confucius -
In spring, hundreds of flowers;Originally posted by m@rk:ice i think u got wat i ment .. its the kind of image of her appearing in ur head that disturbs...i've tried talking to her yesterdae night.. butnot very fruitful.. i got very upset however no strong feelings to leave her.. the pain is very excruciating.. day n nite for the past many months im in pain.. im trying hard to break this thought through.. but it always get stuck some where.. im like in a box and everywhere i see i a dead end.. Ice how did u manage to do it?
to be crude the feeling i always get is the woman i love; my wife to be is being f*** by somebody else.. argh!!! im goin mad!!!
in autumn, a harvest moon;
In summer, a refreshing breeze;
in winter, snow will accompany you.
If useless things do not hang in your mind,
Any season is a good season for you. Ekai -
Just because your thinking is a throwback to the Dark Ages doesn't mean the rest of us guys think the same way too. Are you some kind of crazed feminist? Or maybe a feminist trapped in a guy's body? I can't tell.Originally posted by old_oredi:SINCE THE PERSON IS FRUSTRATED ENOUGH, ALL OF THOSE TALKING RUBBISH AND SCOLDING HIM JUST SHUT UP! CAnt bliv how insensitve u ppl are.. before talking, pls imagine ur spouse having sex wif one of their exs. Put yourselves in HIS shoes!
yeah.. itz a liberal society now. BUT not every guy dares admit that he minds their gf being non-virgins. All of u who blatantly say he doesnt love her/he is a loser, etc etc... are then the losers..
I personally feel that most of u guys out there keep saying u dun mind ur gfs being non-virgins...*bleah* but in the end after marriage, when u all quarrel, bet u all will use that to blame ur wives. Admit all of ur selfishness. Dun u guys go to sammyboy's forum too? so many men out there go geyland find prostitutes too. how abt those who have flings? b4 insulting many singapore women for being non-virgins, first insult sexually-deprived men. -
Hmm, okay, you came here for advise right? I guess most of the forumers would say the same thing, if you love her, forget about her past and accept her. Furthermore, she had told you the truth, and not like some excuse like "broke" while cycling kindda stuff. It all up to you now, to learn to accept, or if you really can't, better seek help soon. We can only advise, suan or give nasty comments. But it really up to you to do what you need to do.
Anyway, I dun think we should discuse our society view on chaste, it is such a big debate with large following on either side.
I hope you have a happy r/s with your gf. -
Originally posted by sadsadguy:Hmm, okay, you came here for advise right? I guess most of the forumers would say the same thing, if you love her, forget about her past and accept her. Furthermore, she had told you the truth, and not like some excuse like "broke" while cycling kindda stuff. It all up to you now, to learn to accept, or if you really can't, better seek help soon. We can only advise, suan or give nasty comments. But it really up to you to do what you need to do.
Anyway, I dun think we should discuse our society view on chaste, it is such a big debate with large following on either side.
I hope you have a happy r/s with your gf. Read me post prior in page 3, I hate to repeat myself, but I shall do it again for the third time.
If you are a virgin, you have your own right to source for your virgin gf - if not, do you think you are in the position to source for one?
So are you one?
Examples given:
Guys fling outside, happy finish go home find wife - wife do the same, guy go crazy and scold wife for being such a b|tch.
Guys disallow girl to talk, communicate, speak with other guys, but they themselves always chat with girls till wee hours.
The possible example are infinite. I am not asking you to ACCEPT that fact, be happy and laugh about it. Its about your reasons for your feelings and how you should cope with it. I am sure even reading so many post - you will bound to continue your old life without attempting to try and change that thinking.
You want me to predict something? If this unstability is not sort out, this relation will fall. Want to prove me wrong? Do something practical and constructive to SOLVE your clouded preception and confused emotions.
Cheers -
he just dont get it...forget it man....
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After reading all this, here's a radical solution:
M@rk to leave his girl... she was honest with him.. and he cannot handle it...
maybe she deserves someone better... someone who deserves the goodness of the honesty of a woman?
then M@rk can go to a nunnery and seek his virgin bride, and his girl can find someone who really loves her. -
just wanna get a better idea of what's really eating you alive.
Let's just ASSUME (note the word is 'ASSUME' ok?) that she is a rape victim hor? would you be feeling half the anguish that you are suffering from right now? 
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Originally posted by old_oredi:
i really honestly don't mind.
[b]..
I personally feel that most of u guys out there keep saying u dun mind ur gfs being non-virgins.../b]
not being a virgin is NOT an imperfection anyway.
i've done my bit to deflower a few girls myself. I think i've slept with over 20 girls so far and a few of them were virgins too.
some girls really can't wait to get rid of their virginity anyway. -
Yes i would.Originally posted by gogogogo:
Forumers here listen up, face the truth. If the same thing happen to you and if you are in Mark's shoes, would you do the same? So great, unselfish and generous? Think again.
Girls out there, you can gain sexual equality. Sleep around and stamp out this archaic superstition. -
amen to that! she is a person with her own life. Why would she bother with a goof like m@rk?Originally posted by the Bear:After reading all this, here's a radical solution:
M@rk to leave his girl... she was honest with him.. and he cannot handle it...
maybe she deserves someone better... someone who deserves the goodness of the honesty of a woman?
then M@rk can go to a nunnery and seek his virgin bride, and his girl can find someone who really loves her. -
I dun mind my counterpart is no V... I dun even consider myself 1 too... All da AV cds, pornography, etc, etc has corrupted ALL our minds... Who here can call him/her/it self a TRUE virgin? I cant...Originally posted by AzRaeL:Yes i would.
Girls out there, you can gain sexual equality. Sleep around and stamp out this archaic superstition. -
Oh give our pal a break already. he has enough on his mind liao. By the way, i don't think gals should sleep around like nobody's business. Generation-Degeneration, man.Originally posted by AzRaeL:Yes i would.
Girls out there, you can gain sexual equality. Sleep around and stamp out this archaic superstition.
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neither should guysOriginally posted by boy in blues:Oh give our pal a break. he is troubled enough already. BTW, i don't think gals should sleep around like noboby's business. 
but we shouldn't make girls into objects that are only worth something when "new" -
Yeeehaaah!Originally posted by AzRaeL:neither should guys
but we shouldn't make girls into objects that are only worth something when "new" Somebody stop the press! What a scoop! AzRaelL actually said something nice and sincere for a change! -
face it.. it's many of u guys out there who mind ur partners being not virgins and yet do not dare admit it. alright. SOME ppl here claim they "dun mind their counterparts being non virgins".... who noes how ur future will be like? How sure can u all be that at present you dun mind ur gfs, yet after marrying her, u all come out with all that shit.... n accusations and then blame your poor wives in future?
watever it is, just dun be so self-confident. If u are going to marry your gf, accept her for wat she is and dun secretly bear grudges against her inside ur heart....