why doesn't she ever know just how much i care for her?
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star,
thank u and others for telling me that..although i know through time, i might be able to forget all these things happening..but what i'm so sad and hurt now is why is it the right person seems to never come in my life? all this while i tell myself "yes, shes the one i'm looking for" but look at what happened...i really lost it this time...though i know life must go on, i am still very hurt by everything...noone to confide to, noone to talk to...i came to this forum without knowing what i'm looking for...self pity? sympathy? i don't know...i only know that my heart hurts soooo much that i cannot stop typing or else i will think o feverything again and...
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even now, though i try to fight back my tears, the mere mention of the place where i met her, the mere tune of the song i sent to her and the mere look of happiness on her face when i think of her breaks my heart so badly...it's like fixing a jigsaw puzzle and just when everything's perfect, it just crumble again...i don't like this feeling at all...really dun
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as hard as i want to try to forget her? i can't...can i talk to someone please?
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U can tok to me... I cant offer GOOD, solid advices like "SOME" ppl here......Originally posted by life^stop:as hard as i want to try to forget her? i can't...can i talk to someone please? 
But I can offer at LEAST a good listening ear...
I have some frens who r like U... So I roughly noe wats goin on...
U wan can PM me. I give U my contact them U can tok to me. Serious. -
this is all one sided..
u are the willing party here
stop deceiving
dun be a fool anymore
she obviously think tat u are not the one for her
dun blame urself
its jus fate -
Hey fren dun tink too much liao....it's her loss, not yours. Tink of activities to engage in....like exercising or working out in the gym....at the end of the day u will be so tired u will hardly tink abt it anymore....hope u can bounce out of this..
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It will come one day.. jus wait patiently.. Don't rush.. enjoy life wh ile you can!Originally posted by life^stop:Yun...
I hope that what u say will be true...really pray it will happen..if theres someone a thousand..no even 1% better than her and who cares for me..i'll be very happy enough...i'll wait..i always believed in fate...yet i do not know why it has not come yet... maybe one day it will? 
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Hmm.. close to cancer.. No wonder!!! Emotion is taking over you rather than you rational mind!Originally posted by Yunhaier:29 July? Well, close to Cancer neh... Can I have your time born?
Why? Let me see your birth chart lor.
Leo in distress... I am also Leo. If you wish you can call me lar...
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hahaa.. she's a cancer?? i @@Originally posted by life^stop:not sure..i think in the morning 2-3 am ...close to cancer..yup she's a cancer... 
Ok then for sure.. she;s avioding you due to you pestering and scaring her... and definitely she will give lots of excuses..
Try not to contact her for sometime.. then when everything is settle and calm down.. then you contact her back as a friend...
She wants you to move on.. And she wants to lead b ack her old llife.. That's what she wants from you!! And not all the presents etc.. -
hey man, you should really move on. Cause how matter how hurt you feel, she not going to know or even bother. Cause she have no interest in you.
You should keep yourself occupy with better stuff than her in your mind ( She going to mess out your mind ). Get yourself busy with sports, books or even going out with friends. That way you should not stray into "her pic" in your mind.
"Why dump yourself into a hole full of pain and misery, when you can live a life better without her"
Above advice from me, as i have faced this before. But not too the extend of giving stuff and meals for her. -
aiyo can be a man or notOriginally posted by life^stop:even now, though i try to fight back my tears, the mere mention of the place where i met her, the mere tune of the song i sent to her and the mere look of happiness on her face when i think of her breaks my heart so badly...it's like fixing a jigsaw puzzle and just when everything's perfect, it just crumble again...i don't like this feeling at all...really dun
at first i read your post i so pity you
now i guess u just deserve it...ppl dun luv you then move on with your life lar
why keep making urself frustrated and depressed? is it worth it or not
i think the best medicine is for you to sign on for the army, as time goes by you will forget her....u will be too busy to think of her
so please sign on when u enlist into army be a man
protect OUR COUNTRY
DUN ALWAYS BGR BGR...AIYA ppl... -
be urself.if u can't be urself when u with her than it ain't worth it...think it thru.... will u be happy hiding behind a mask all ur life.... whatever u feel...let her know...if it doesn't work out than too bad...time to move on.
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The mistakes you made at the "strategic" level
Confessing too soon
This is the biggest mistake you made.Are you new to the Game?You should have built up a firm foundation of friendship first before even thinking of confessing your feelings to her.The crux of any relationship is friendship.You need to be very close friends first before anything else could happen.Sure,there are couples who get attached within one or two months or even a few days of getting acquainted,but personally,I think such relationships are built on a weak foundation as the friendship element is not there yet.It is not possible for the two of them to understand each other very well within such a short duration.I feel that such relationships happen because of physical attraction.As time goes by,one of them even both might feel that maybe the other half is not what he/she initially makes him/her out to be and thus the relationship encounters some problems with its attendant heartbreaks,tears shed etc etc...So next time,if you feel that you are attracted to another gal again,keep it cool.Do not reveal your feelings yet.The thing is if you confess too soon and it is not mutual,it is going to be very difficult even to be platonice friends because of the awkwardness.I think that is the reason why she gives you the cold shoulder nowadays.Play it cool,keep quiet,establish a close friendship with her,in the meantime,you can gauge whether she might be an ideal partner.You can also find out whether there is a chance that she might want to be more than close friends with you by the hints gals like to drop from time to time.Critics of this assertion of mine will argue that you will feel worse after being friends with her for a number of years and being rejected after "waiting" for a number of years.My counter argument would be:during this period of time,keep your expectations low and always keep your options open.Have this mentality of "hoping for the best while always prepared for the worst." It will stand you in good stead.Even if she rejects you eventually,you two can still be friends,you can still meet up with her as the friendship element is already there.At least that is better than what you are experiencing now,right?
Giving her too much attention
You buy gifts for her.It is quite obvious to her what are your intentions even if you do not confess.Brother,I do not know what kind of gifts you bought for her so far,but I have to say that you have wasted your money.You have heard of the saying "Nice guys finish last." That is only partially false.There is a grain of truth in that but there are also limitations.You know why? I think you adheresto the idea that we guys should always be very nice to gals,we should pamper them always.You are dead wrong.By always pampering her,you are not winning her heart,but after a while,she might start to take you for granted and treats you as a non-seasonal Santa Claus.I feel that you have come on too strongly on her by showering her with excess attention.That,I think,has turned her off.Sure,be nice to gals,but never to the extent that you become a yes-men who says yes/agrees to everything she says.Like this,you become too predictable.Gals like guys with backbone and a sense of mystery around them! So do not be too enthusiastic.Keep aloof from time to time.By the way,what have you bought for her so far?
I think my comments make a lot of sense.nevertheless,I do not,repeat,do not claim to be the final authority on such matters,in fact I am still learning as I go along-education is a lifelong process!
Dear Friend,I truly can feel your pain.I am not you,but I just want to tell you that I share your pain.I have been through such nonsense before.It is like the whole world collapsing around you.The sky is so dark.It is like having nothing to look forward to tomorrow when you wake up. Your heart is as heavy as lead now and every step you take is hard and laboured.Right? As i said,I have been through trying times before.That time,when I discovered that my crush got attached,I did not mutter a single word for two days It was that bleak.My advice to you is to take a short break.Do not contact her for say,two weeks? In this two weeks,do things you like and avoid anything that is associated with her.Best is to do strenous exercise,you will forget about her! Keep your mind occupied!
I give you a few inspirational quotes,hope they will alleviate your pain.
"You gotta keep breathin' coz tomorrow the sun'll rise and who knows what the tide could bring." -Chuck Noland(Tom Hanks) in Cast Away
"There are places in this world that are'nt made up of stone...There's something inside...something they can't get to,can't touch,it's yours..." Hope. -Andrew Dufrense(Tim Robbins) in The Shawshank Redemption
"Sorrow looks back,worry looks around,Faith looks up." - Anon.
"All the darkness in the world can not put out the light of even one small candle."- Anon.
"When all else is lost,the future still remains."- Anon.
"Get busy living,or get busy dying
For the second time in my life,I'm guilty of committing a crime-parole violation.
Of course,I doubt they'll toss up any roadblocks up there,not for an old crook like me.
I find I'm so excited that I could barely sit still or hold a thought in my head
I think it's the excitement a only free man could feel,a free man on the start of a long journey whose conclusion is uncertain.
I hope I can make it across the border.
I hope I can see my friend and shake his hand.
I hope the Pacific is as blue as it has ever been in my Dreams.
I hope..."
-Ellis "Red" Redding(Morgan Freeman) in The Shawshank Redemption -
'best thing you ever known' dun make you cry. the 'best thing i ever known' in my life doesnt make me cry. How can someone who dun show you love and make you cry be the 'best thing you ever known'?Originally posted by life^stop:shes not my girlfriend..and as much as i hope for her to be, all i ever want is at least she can treat me better... its very painful everytime she does these things to me..i want to 'let go' but i can't...
"missing out on the good things in life" ? shes the best thing i've ever known...i don't want to lose her...do u think i'm missing out? I'm sorry...just thinking of her is so painful already... my first post here..hope maybe anyone can listen
DUn just look for THE best, you wil end up hurt and defeated. Just look for whats best for you and remember the best for you love you and will not make you cry out of sadness. -
hey sometimes, it better that she give you cold shoulder etc.. in a sense she make it clear she's doesnt have feeling for you or juz wan you to give up?? then you can let go early. Somethings that seem hurtful at 1st, might turn out to be a blessing in disguise...
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though she might hate me, despise me, i dunno..anything!
I really hope she will be fine...and never forget me the least to say..for being the one who irritate her so much -
i'm going to the army soon..realy hope by the time i enter i can forget her..cos i want to concentrate on my NS...
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I'm gonna give you a short and sweet advice from Exp,
if you have to go through so much effort to even get her to notice you then Dun waste your #$%@#^ time. If she like you or prefers your company then at least she would respond. Otherwise at the end of the day only one lugi is you. Dun bother wasting your $$ it's better to get a drink along the way home cause at least its worth it. -
life^stop,
from a woman's pt of view, i just want to tell you that women are more sensitive than men......we are able to detect whats going on more than men......
hence she gave u a very obvious answer already, i advise you to move on...
if she is really keen she wont be so cold and unappreciative. if a girl really falls in love with you, all the flowers and concern are 'not so impt'...literally half the battle is won.
there are many other people who are as good as her, what matters is that whether do you have fate with them...and whether do they appreciate your efforts in return.
~be positive~ -
hi...was reading all the postings. Tink everyone said alot to encourage u here.
There are many types of gers in this world. Think guys can be bad....gers can do the same too esp. the century we leave in. Gifts and concern are your appreciation to her but perhaps she was never ready for this special attention. Really, you ought to "love" and "respect" yourself more....cos at the end of the day, ppl will not turn away from you. Only a person who's at heart a happy person can in turn make another happy.
Carry yourself with more dignity. You have not committed to her in anyway more than what u have done yet. It's time to stop.
She could have make herself clearer with you but perhaps she does not know how. She thinks by driving you away with her actions, that should be good enough. Let her be. U have the courage to own up to how u feel but she does not, how could she be the best thing that ever happened to u?
Take care ya.......listen, dun think of what u do for her anymore or how she's treating u. Take it that you tried but was never meant to be. Better than not makin effort at all, rite? -
hmm..thanks ice for everything...she really ignored me all the way...is it something i did to make her hate me? i really don't mean it...i just get nervous whenever such things happen that i just do things so fast... i want to change but i can't... i don't know how to keep things calm and cool...
now i just wish everything was back to where it started..so that i can don't do such stupid things and just treat everything with ease ..but i can't turn back time...and can only live to regret it -
When love is deep in the heart, there are no regrets. it's all must have happened for good reason..when it is time for you to part, there will be tears to shed, and memories to share.... it's best for u to learn from your experiences...maybe God wants you to meet a few wrong people before meeting the right one so that when you finally meet the right person, you will know how to be grateful for that gift..... think about it deeply... :p
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Haiz... after reading all ur posts, i think u r much better than me. I'm in a situation almost the same as u, the ger i like is treating me cold and hot.... I'm very confused right now. For ur case think its pretty obvious that she dun have any feelings for u. At least u can withdraw right now whereas i'm in the middle of a cross junction, dun know which direction to go. It easier to say than done but since u r enlisting for national service soon, think its a very good opportunity for u to forget abt her.. In the mean time, go out and enjoy life...Originally posted by life^stop:hmm..thanks ice for everything...she really ignored me all the way...is it something i did to make her hate me? i really don't mean it...i just get nervous whenever such things happen that i just do things so fast... i want to change but i can't... i don't know how to keep things calm and cool...
now i just wish everything was back to where it started..so that i can don't do such stupid things and just treat everything with ease ..but i can't turn back time...and can only live to regret it -
y do u like her? not jus looks i hope. better make sure u hav a much more valid reason dan dat. anyway, u seem 2 think dat u like her alot. so my next question 2 u is simply dis. wud u hug her if she had SARS? wen her own mum shuns her, wud u b her final company 2 her grave? if n only if u r dead sure ur answer is 'yes 2 de power of infinity', shud u persist in ur pursuit. y? bcos u know u love her 2 n extent most other guys wud find hard 2 achieve. sure, u may say it hurts wen she takes ur heart out n begins 2 mutilate it. feel like givin up now? wat if she ends up wif some other guy hu loves her less dan u? if n only if u hav placed her best interests abov ur own wud u find ease in goin tru suffering 4 her sake. b constantly reminded of your agenda n no force in heaven or hell can ever stop you..Originally posted by life^stop:Like this girl so much...bought breakfast...bought her gifts when i got my pay check... all i ever ask for is to be able to just talk to her or even go out with her even if its for just 1 hour... really care for her alot.. yet...she sounds bored everytime talking to me..Called her last night and she said called her back later...did as i was told..only to know shes sleeping...hate to admit it..but really juz cried in bed...i'm not someone very great..just an ordinary person looking to care for this girl whom to me is so special...i really hate the way she's treating me...yet all this while i hope that she at least sms me even a "Hi" one day... Can't sleep, can't eat..can only weep...why? -
So how is the situation like as of now?