shd i be DISAPPOINTED & UPSET with my bf...?
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Having expectations at ur age quite normal lah. You'll realise more things in time to come.Originally posted by Coco_Coco:thanks... i get wad u mean... but sometimes one can't help having a certain level of expectation...
and 1 thing is that he got give flowers to his ex and uso to the gals he wooed... but just not to me.... haiz....why huh....
haiz... i should really learn to take things easy ahz... otherwise really zi tao ku chi.
Tell you the truth, i gave flowers to my ex b4 too but never gave any to my current.
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dun expect so much..... dun compare....
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thanks... but actually we are kinda over the honeymoon period already... i personally feel that my bf is stable and mature enough to handle a rp. he got told me before he wants stability in this rp and really want to make it work and lasting. but we sorta have different ideas of how to shape this rp. to him stability means to go about with normal daily life and doing away with the normal courting romantic acts... but whilst i crave for stability, i do want exciting and romantic elements to be injected into this rp. i try to inject this into our rp and sometimes he appreciates it but sometimes he tink is redundant.Originally posted by ditzy:True love, is very very very very very hard to find.
Its the one thing that you will enjoy the most and its the one thing that will hurt you the most.
I can tell you truthfully I have shed alot of tears to find the meaning of true love. I can tell you truthfully that I found it but one wrong move will cause me to lose it all.
Over time, you and your bf will truly understand what each other is looking for in a relationship. From what you described above, it still seems abit like honeymoon period. Beyond that, its really up to the 2 of you to make things work.
Its a really tough journey, but the rewards that you earn at the end of this journey can never be taken away by anybody else.
i think our different views and expectations from this rp is going to pose problems in the long run.... -
izit?? got any particular reasons why?Originally posted by ditzy:Having expectations at ur age quite normal lah. You'll realise more things in time to come.
Tell you the truth, i gave flowers to my ex b4 too but never gave any to my current. -
sometime have to let thing go shun qi zhi ran.... from my experience is ns guys are all like dat.... maybe is a stage for all guys....
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Originally posted by Coco_Coco:i dunno why but my bf has been going back on his word these days.
he always said he will buy this stuff for me or buy that stuff for me cos i like them. but somehow they never came true. wadever he has promised me at that time seems to be forgotten over time. (it's not that he doesn't have the money btw)
then last time he proposed and got promise me on v-day he'll appear at my doorstep with a bouquet of red roses to bring me out to celebrate. now that v-day is drawing near, he starts to make other plans instead. instead he wanna me to go look for him at his house instead. imagine a gal going to a guy's hse and bring him out on v-day instead!!!
when i sorta reminded him about this previous plan, he said he'll need to re-consider. 
why is it that he din fulfill whaever he has said to me. did he say them just for fun? but he looked serious when he said them to me. it's not that i crave after these things. it wont have mattered if he never said about buying them for me or doing something for me. but he did say and when his words never materialised, that's when it mattered and hurt.
shd i be disappointed and upset with him? or shd i forget it since the things he promised me are not cannot-do-without-with things. when i tried to talk to him about keeping his word, he in return tink i very materialistic and keep wanting him to buy stuff for me. but the point is that i never budged him to buy or do those stuff for me! he volunteered...!
very sad now....
You are hurt because of what you had said, but failed to deliver or because of the material possession you failed to receive? You mentioned that it was the former, but by the look of it, it's little of both side.
You are young no doubt - but maturity in relationship has nothing to do with age. I don't know what's the best way to gain enlightenment in relationship for you, but essentially, lots of observation, self studying and self-pondering is needed. Your bf probably has the idea of doing the things he had mentioned to you, then, he gets real lazy and rather skip the plans than to uphold them. (This is actually a common case I get among the people I know and yes - WTF? Long explaination and theory to post)
Then again, don't linger in such unneccessary sadness - this is the guy you CHOSE to be your bf. So, at the end of the day, who do you think should share this ultimate part in the blame game?
Cheers -
i personally have a lot of respect for those whom live up to their words, not to mention my potential half.
if this happens oni on this particular instance, do give him the benefit of doubt that he cant afford wat he promised.
if this happens too often, then imagine urself as an employee and having your boss keep promising you promotion and increased salary but never fulfill. what would u do? -
No particular reason really. Guess its because she dun like flowers and I never tried.Originally posted by Coco_Coco:izit?? got any particular reasons why?
But if I do get for her, she'll scold me for spending the money. But she'll still keep the flowers of coz. Girls what...
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Damn right, it is a stage!Originally posted by Me0w Me0w:sometime have to let thing go shun qi zhi ran.... from my experience is ns guys are all like dat.... maybe is a stage for all guys.... -
Originally posted by www:
i would get disillusioned and demoralised...
if this happens too often, then imagine urself as an employee and having your boss keep promising you promotion and increased salary but never fulfill. what would u do?
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and would lose trust in my employer too.
but i wun dare to approach my employer to ask why... he would tink i hankering after the benefits and blacklist me or something -
Originally posted by ditzy:Damn right, it is a stage!
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a stage? any trends or reasons why?Originally posted by ditzy:Damn right, it is a stage! -
usually gals would like it (some love it) if guys give them flowers... u can see how their faces light up....Originally posted by ditzy:No particular reason really. Guess its because she dun like flowers and I never tried.
But if I do get for her, she'll scold me for spending the money. But she'll still keep the flowers of coz. Girls what...
haha i tink she would really appreciate u for giving her the flowers -
Uh, I would put it as maturity level. I wouldn't count NS as 'that' mature yet. I've gone through it lah. I'm 24 already. Must experience the real world 1st than can say move up another level.Originally posted by Coco_Coco:a stage? any trends or reasons why? -
hmmm a common case? how come? izit a normal human behaviour or just taking things for granted?Originally posted by Yunhaier:You are young no doubt - but maturity in relationship has nothing to do with age. I don't know what's the best way to gain enlightenment in relationship for you, but essentially, lots of observation, self studying and self-pondering is needed. Your bf probably has the idea of doing the things he had mentioned to you, then, he gets real lazy and rather skip the plans than to uphold them. (This is actually a common case I get among the people I know and yes - WTF? Long explaination and theory to post) -
surprise once a while oso very sweet....Originally posted by Coco_Coco:usually gals would like it (some love it) if guys give them flowers... u can see how their faces light up....
haha i tink she would really appreciate u for giving her the flowers -
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Yeah she would. But between us, a card with our own personal writings is more than anything else to ask for.Originally posted by Coco_Coco:usually gals would like it (some love it) if guys give them flowers... u can see how their faces light up....
haha i tink she would really appreciate u for giving her the flowers
Me and my gf share a really long, sad love story. Cards are somewhat beautiful memories for us. -
many a time, u wont get wat u want if u dont speak up. of course, its not an easy skill to bring across your message without getting him/her misunderstood.Originally posted by Coco_Coco:i would get disillusioned and demoralised...
and would lose trust in my employer too.
but i wun dare to approach my employer to ask why... he would tink i hankering after the benefits and blacklist me or something
and if direct communication doesnt work, i would definitely consider finding myself a new job and naturally, a new boss. -
Originally posted by ditzy:Uh, I would put it as maturity level. I wouldn't count NS as 'that' mature yet. I've gone through it lah. I'm 24 already. Must experience the real world 1st than can say move up another level. The link between love maturity and personal maturity is minimal. How enlightened one person is regarding matters of heart do not always equate to an older person. There are many other people whom I know that older than me, but when it comes to matters of the heart, it's pretty much like 16-18 years old way of looking at love if you measure age as part of love's growing up.
When we grow older - we are more practical towards affairs of love. That's about it. Your basis love personality remains the same unless you are evolved through experience and enlightenment.
P.S: You will be surprise on how some people in their late 20s and 30s, behaving damn `fringing childish in their own love. It's not about the kiddy-like action that determines your maturity - its your attitude.
Cheers -
sounds touching.... long sad love story..... care to share.....Originally posted by ditzy:Yeah she would. But between us, a card with our own personal writings is more than anything else to ask for.
Me and my gf share a really long, sad love story. Cards are somewhat beautiful memories for us. -
yepz... can share abit? please?Originally posted by Me0w Me0w:sounds touching.... long sad love story..... care to share..... -
but if u dun want then is ok......
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Originally posted by Coco_Coco:i dunno why but my bf has been going back on his word these days.
he always said he will buy this stuff for me or buy that stuff for me cos i like them. but somehow they never came true. wadever he has promised me at that time seems to be forgotten over time. (it's not that he doesn't have the money btw)
then last time he proposed and got promise me on v-day he'll appear at my doorstep with a bouquet of red roses to bring me out to celebrate. now that v-day is drawing near, he starts to make other plans instead. instead he wanna me to go look for him at his house instead. imagine a gal going to a guy's hse and bring him out on v-day instead!!! when i sorta reminded him about this previous plan, he said he'll need to re-consider.
why is it that he din fulfill whaever he has said to me. did he say them just for fun? but he looked serious when he said them to me. it's not that i crave after these things. it wont have mattered if he never said about buying them for me or doing something for me. but he did say and when his words never materialised, that's when it mattered and hurt.
shd i be disappointed and upset with him? or shd i forget it since the things he promised me are not cannot-do-without-with things. when i tried to talk to him about keeping his word, he in return tink i very materialistic and keep wanting him to buy stuff for me. but the point is that i never budged him to buy or do those stuff for me! he volunteered...!
very sad now.... ok. your boyfriend seems to have a habit of making empty promises hoping you will forget them as time passes. one reason could be he thinks you do not have good memory or take his words seriously enough. you can remind him that this habit can cause him to lose his credibility among his other friends as well if he doesn't change for the better. also let him know that he does not need to show his love for you by buying gifts he can't afford. -
On the day we poured out our feelings we had for each other. I had to leave the country the next and come back a year later.Originally posted by Me0w Me0w:sounds touching.... long sad love story..... care to share.....
You can roughly imagine how she felt back then. So sad. Same went for me too.
For that past year, we could only communicate via phone and icq. Its not easy to communicate if you can't talk face to face. We had lots of miscomm and misunderstandings because of that. We quarreled, we argued, we nearly ended it all.
But both of us waited the past year before we could meet again.
Eventually, we got together again when I came back. She had waited for me all this time. For me, only for me. I'm sure you know how that feels.
I'll end the story here, i think its enough.