Needed Advice
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All the guessing are too much. But wat can i do now? In the morning, i gave him a supportive sms n hope that he get thru his job. Im sad during this time off period. U think that im not hurt ipon uopn hearing how much he gone thru? My heart sunken.Originally posted by Devil1976:DAMN... I SPEAKS...
How CLOSE both of you are together and regards each other... have you been recognised or have you recognise him?
When one has fallen and the other stand, should the one who has fallen just tries to stand? There you stood... Are you there? Is he there?
Of course it's easy... (if not at times stupid...) To just expect your 'protector' to be there for you... Even machines break down, weapons jammed... Do you wait? Do you SEE? You're NOT weak... Because the fire's not directly on you....
Give him STRENGTH and in turn he should give you strength.... If you trust enough in this relationship... If you think he deserves it...
WHAT GUESS? WHAT THEORIES? STOP your own stupidities...
Wat more can i pray for now? the cooling period over n he gif me a verdict? To exile me or death sentence? -
firstly ... it's your relationship and only you can tell if it will or will not work out ... you are the one in it ... you decide ....if you think you can make it work , then it will work....Originally posted by Prec|ous:he can be bad temper at times...if been anger...
i noe.. i did send him encouragement sms. but during a time off period like this, is it advisable to send him? plus most ppl say that my r/s wun work out ...i think they got some point also
secondly, in order to get a relationship to work .. besides the fundemental trust and coms issues, it's your own confidence. If you do not have confidence in yourself or your relationship how will it work?? you would had lost faith and give up on anything and everything easily....
thirdly, i dun think it's anything to drop encouraging love notes to your partner or frens when you know they are stressed up ... so there , wat's wrong with just sending him a note to let him know that you will be there to support him ?? -
i din say it wrong to send him encouraging sms, but was scared that it will disrupt him fm his work or may thus becomes an irritation.Originally posted by springtime:firstly ... it's your relationship and only you can tell if it will or will not work out ... you are the one in it ... you decide ....if you think you can make it work , then it will work....
secondly, in order to get a relationship to work .. besides the fundemental trust and coms issues, it's your own confidence. If you do not have confidence in yourself or your relationship how will it work?? you would had lost faith and give up on anything and everything easily....
thirdly, i dun think it's anything to drop encouraging love notes to your partner or frens when you know they are stressed up ... so there , wat's wrong with just sending him a note to let him know that you will be there to support him ?? -
Didnt noe if u got my pm....but i think u need to leave him for a while.
I think u hv come to the pt of the closer u want to be with him, the more he wants to back off. No matter what u do now, anything that remotely hints that u need time from him will stress him.
U need to find time to go back to livin without him. Try to do smthg u like, shopping..., look up friends, go gym, do facial and enjoy time on ur own.
Sometimes, u really need to back down. He will call u when he is ready. Try to show him that u can also be on ur own. Sometimes guys nids girls to be strong.
The ball is actually in his court. U can don't wait for him, but if u luv him then all u can do is wait.
Things can go both ways:
1) He may start missing u and decide to salvage the r/s and call u, or ask why u stop calling or smsing him, or
2) he may decide that u r not the one for him and prefers to be alone.
But there is really nothing much u can do now....except to try and live life on ur own...i know it is difficult...but do try. -
Im already on my own for the past 3 weeks already & he noes that he is neglecting me. He cant help it. he is really bz. all i can only do is to send him encoruaging smses. other than that, he will haf to decide.Originally posted by lyling:Didnt noe if u got my pm....but i think u need to leave him for a while.
I think u hv come to the pt of the closer u want to be with him, the more he wants to back off. No matter what u do now, anything that remotely hints that u need time from him will stress him.
U need to find time to go back to livin without him. Try to do smthg u like, shopping..., look up friends, go gym, do facial and enjoy time on ur own.
Sometimes, u really need to back down. He will call u when he is ready. Try to show him that u can also be on ur own. Sometimes guys nids girls to be strong.
The ball is actually in his court. U can don't wait for him, but if u luv him then all u can do is wait.
Things can go both ways:
1) He may start missing u and decide to salvage the r/s and call u, or ask why u stop calling or smsing him, or
2) he may decide that u r not the one for him and prefers to be alone.
But there is really nothing much u can do now....except to try and live life on ur own...i know it is difficult...but do try.
As wat u quoted "I think u hv come to the pt of the closer u want to be with him, the more he wants to back off." It actually not the case, he realli dun haf the time as thru the understanding when we had a tok on sat.
We were both frustrated wif each other. He is too plus tired n stress. n i think he is more disappointed abt the rumour gg behind him. Im not enusring him i still be there for him -
Good that things r not as bad as they sound.....then persist...u will see light. Meanwhile try and cheer n occupy urself.
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i cant it looks gd...if not, we wun be resorting to break. i realli dunnoe wat will it bcome for the ending..i think he is realli frustrated...of all the nonesense.
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This makes ALOT of SENSE... Go through this CAREFULLY again...Originally posted by springtime:firstly ... it's your relationship and only you can tell if it will or will not work out ... you are the one in it ... you decide ....if you think you can make it work , then it will work.... -
Just make of enough and not overdo things... Anyway, it's your relationship and your call... If it really can't last, LEARN from it WELL....Originally posted by Prec|ous:i din say it wrong to send him encouraging sms, but was scared that it will disrupt him fm his work or may thus becomes an irritation. -
I am not the decision maker.. he isOriginally posted by Devil1976:firstly ... it's your relationship and only you can tell if it will or will not work out ... you are the one in it ... you decide ....if you think you can make it work , then it will work.... This makes ALOT of SENSE... Go through this CAREFULLY again... -
i dun send everyday. Thanks for it. YES, it my r/s & call, i shouldnt be bothering u all... sorry...Originally posted by Devil1976:Just make of enough and not overdo things... Anyway, it's your relationship and your call... If it really can't last, LEARN from it WELL.... -
Don't say sorry...everybody is just giving their two cents worth....it is not a bother....if it is....know one would reply.
*Sayang....Sayang....we all understand.....there r always ups and downs in r/s....there is never an absolute right thing or wrong thing to do. What works one day, may not work another day. In a relationship, both hv to learn to grow together. If the r/s doesn't work, don't despair. Cry it out....mourn about it for a while, then move on with ur life. U will find ur true one, one day....have faith...have hope. -
I noe im tactless...i send him an sms this morning telling him that i dun mind gg thru ups n downs wif him. It hurt me to noe that wat is gg thru for him at work. I told him that i be there for him n suppory him.Originally posted by lyling:Don't say sorry...everybody is just giving their two cents worth....it is not a bother....if it is....know one would reply.
*Sayang....Sayang....we all understand.....there r always ups and downs in r/s....there is never an absolute right thing or wrong thing to do. What works one day, may not work another day. In a relationship, both hv to learn to grow together. If the r/s doesn't work, don't despair. Cry it out....mourn about it for a while, then move on with ur life. U will find ur true one, one day....have faith...have hope.
I cannt share his burden, n i could only sms to await him to cool down or i dunnoe.. yes, blame it on my own stupidities as claimed, if it realli fail n he wanna gif up, i really dunnoe wat i could do. Pls dun ask me to find another one.this words cant get into the ears. i really dunnoe wat 2morrow or the day after 2morrow lies for me. i only noe im not feeling well inside. i alway make the wrong move, i alway do the wrong things, i alway this n that. I take that.
Anyway thanks for all. -
Personally I don't see the point of a time out. If there's a problem, both of you should work on it immediately to solve it. Why drag a problem out? Worse, a time out without any objective? Problems won't settle by itself.
Anyway since a time out is imposed, I guess you just gotta wait till he tells you he's ready to give it another try? Which puts you in a weaker negotiating position, don't you think?
I feel if you both still love each other, both of you have to reach a compromise on how much time to give each other and to the relationship. An agreement could be, for example, during office hours you are not to call or message him at all, because he's too busy. And you must not feel that he's neglecting you during this period - he simply needs to concentrate on work.
But during weekends together, he must make the effort to reciprocate on the "little gestures" like SMSs and the like, because they mean something to you.
Don't feel that it's ALL your fault lah... he was wrong to lose his temper although he was stressed out. But a failed relationship is due to actions of both parties . Don't think only you're in the wrong, or you're the "bad person", else you're just setting yourself up to be taken advantage of. Stay calm and think things through carefully, logically, and things will work out to a good conclusion (although break or patch , can never tell).Originally posted by Prec|ous:I cannt share his burden, n i could only sms to await him to cool down or i dunnoe.. yes, blame it on my own stupidities as claimed, if it realli fail n he wanna gif up, i really dunnoe wat i could do. Pls dun ask me to find another one.this words cant get into the ears. i really dunnoe wat 2morrow or the day after 2morrow lies for me. i only noe im not feeling well inside. i alway make the wrong move, i alway do the wrong things, i alway this n that. I take that.
Anyway thanks for all. -
/pat pat precious...
i can truely fully understand how u are feeling right now...
b'cos i am feeling the same way as u do...bitter & miserable...
my bf is quite similar to urs...once busy & stressed out, he can totally forget about me...forget about sms...even forget my presence.....
i tried to understand his plight.....but he was never aware how neglected i felt...things gotten so bad that i began to feel lonely & listless...when i see couples happily together on the streets, i will smile within myself, envying them...
i tried to communicate & bring across to him how i felt, but things aren't gotten any better...
on top of this, other things happened which somehow reinforces the idea in me, that how ill-treasured i am to him.....
i started to question myself is he the man for me...
many a times, i tried to get him to talk things over, but it seems to me that he doesn't want to 'face' the situation & solve it...
wrote him a letter...wanting him to read it in front of me so that we can directly communicate our thoughts but he simply asked me to put the letter on his table...when he is free, he will read it...
well, precious...i am sharing my story with you b'cos i think u shld be strong...
each day i live now, i try to be strong...
when i realli feel frustrated with this relationship, i will just go for a jog to sweat it out...b'cos the more i think of this relationship, the more angry i will become...
maybe u can try to think of activities which you can find relief from...jogging is something which i feel i have found comfort in...
or even shopping...but dun be like me...when i am unhappy, i used to go to a shop & anyhow get things which i dun need...
but glad i have kicked that habit away...
now, i am living by the day...drifting along.....
i do not know what i am waiting for...?
perhaps i just could not let go.......considering the years, efforts i have given.....
precious, i was once like u...being so steadfast in the relationship, never-say-die.............
but i am very tired now.........i feel that i can give no more......i am already at my peak...
i feel that u love him alot...brace up the courage & find a chance to ask him out...i guess wkend, when he is not working will be a better time to communicate with him...suggest a relaxing place to hang out & slowly bring your thoughts to him...remember not to accuse him...
if he loves u, he will give this relationship another try......
precious......if things realli dun work in the way u want, brace up & be strong...sometimes, life dun just revolve round man...live for urself...
dun be like me...i have sunk too deep into it...& have great difficulty pulling myself up...
precious, good luck to u.......
anything, do pm me...
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Don't mean that. Anyway, think that's all I'll have to say for now. Stopping here. Good luck?Originally posted by Prec|ous:i dun send everyday. Thanks for it. YES, it my r/s & call, i shouldnt be bothering u all... sorry... -
latest updatesOriginally posted by CuTiE~~:/pat pat precious...
i feel that u love him alot...brace up the courage & find a chance to ask him out...i guess wkend, when he is not working will be a better time to communicate with him...suggest a relaxing place to hang out & slowly bring your thoughts to him...remember not to accuse him...
if he loves u, he will give this relationship another try......
precious......if things realli dun work in the way u want, brace up & be strong...sometimes, life dun just revolve round man...live for urself...
dun be like me...i have sunk too deep into it...& have great difficulty pulling myself up...
precious, good luck to u.......
anything, do pm me...
I met wif him on saturday nite at his hse to haf a tok. He cant believe the misunderstanding haf been created behind all these while whole he wa bz working. He say he cannot accept those nonesense n initially suggested a break. He was utterly too tired for all this craps.
My bes fren, being the party to help us, suggested a time-off to him to cool down n think thru over as she mentioned to him that he is juz too tired n angry n letting emotions riding over wat he is doing now. Ask him to time-off for this moment to think thru n do his stuff n if this nonesense persist during the period of time off, she will had no say if he wan to break.
I think he wun be wanting it back since it not the 1st time we quarrel nor say wanting to break up. I think there is no chance of recovery ...
Now, we are in a time off period. Guess i went at the wrong time to find him which is after his work, i went to his hse. haiz..
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Annoucement : We haf break up. He say he is very pressurize..he realli dun haf time to commit in BGR rite now..He told me that he heart had not change but we are still frenz.
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cheer up gal,Originally posted by Prec|ous:Annoucement : We haf break up. He say he is very pressurize..he realli dun haf time to commit in BGR rite now..He told me that he heart had not change but we are not frenz.
and move on...
no point dwelling in what has beome history... -
Originally posted by Prec|ous:Annoucement : We haf break up. He say he is very pressurize..he realli dun haf time to commit in BGR rite now..He told me that he heart had not change but we are not frenz.
It takes two to clap - if already desire to give it up, there is little you can do because he doesn't want the relationship anymore. Its merely a matter of time. You did what you could and that's what that matters.
Astro mode: on
Pluto transit into Venus opposite aspect. Major changes in love life due to outside influence.
P.S: Don't ask me why I didn't tell you that - I was seriously hoping you could believe in yourself and prove me wrong. I remembered this phrase said by someone I used to love: 'At least the relationship didn't soured.' Your love wasn't tainted with lies and deceits to death - sometimes in love, though we worked so hard just to see its ending, we asked ourselves why.
Then again, when we ask ourselves have we regreted, we knew deep within our psyche that we didn't.
We are sad no doubt.
Sad not because our love has transformed into hatred.
But because we couldn't bring this love into greater heights anymore.
What about happiness, you may ask.
By releasing him - if he could feel the relieve and attain possible growth.
Would you?
Cheers -
im really very sad...dun ask me to find another greener pasture...i really dun wish to. Im not finding some1 to get away wif my emotion nor anything... im realli sad..
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Nobody is asking you to find anyone.Originally posted by Prec|ous:im really very sad...dun ask me to find another greener pasture...i really dun wish to. Im not finding some1 to get away wif my emotion nor anything... im realli sad..
And I mentioned nothing about finding new guy.
I merely made a small question: If you wants to go and he feels it's better for him this way - would you allow him or find all means to tie him?
Cheers -
i din say u say the above. i juz saying it myself. Since he wan to break then break..wat can i do now...all my fault for quarrelling wif him. he day that we should haf break long time ago..(watever crap shit he wanna say lah) haiz..Originally posted by Yunhaier:Nobody is asking you to find anyone.
And I mentioned nothing about finding new guy.
I merely made a small question: If you wants to go and he feels it's better for him this way - would you allow him or find all means to tie him?
Cheers
Im a total sux failure -
Originally posted by Prec|ous:i din say u say the above. i juz saying it myself. Since he wan to break then break..wat can i do now...all my fault for quarrelling wif him. he day that we should haf break long time ago..(watever crap shit he wanna say lah) haiz..
Im a total sux failure No you are not!
Victim of love - we hasn't been one?
/me pat pat
Cheers -
Hmm...
