Hello firered, read your post and i have to say i feel for you deeply. Not only because I've been there (and i'm still there o_O), but also because I've even contemplated suicide (was just a 3-second thought kinda thing

)
I'm 19 this year, and i've had severe acne for 2 years. Before my condition, i was a vain person, and thought of myself as fairly good-looking. I was also outgoing and enjoyed meeting new people and making new friends. At the age of 17, i decided that my complexion was catered towards the "flawless-never-get-acne-no-matter-wat-you-do" type, and went on an extremely unhealthy diet. This included a straight 2 days without sleeping, eating only sour-cream potato chips and fried chicken chops, never washing my face more than once a day. The result?
A few small zits on my neck. I thought of them as disgusting and furiously picked them off as i would meet many of my friends later in the day and they would serve as a disfiguration. Everything went downhill from there. My right cheek was infected, but it was nothing compared to now. Slowly, both cheeks were infested with pimples (not cysts, not yet), and i became extremely self-conscious. I gradually lost my friends, as i always found excuses not to hang out with them near my previous school, fearing a chance meeting with my ex-schoolmates and their friends. In short, i became highly anti-social.
When i began my tertiary life, i met my current girlfriend. She was extremely popular, and I felt i had no chance in hell of ever dating her in my current condition (a silly mindset which she laughs at even now). I turned to the only acne treatment i knew then, Oxy. It worked. After 6 months, my face was completely clear and only a few scars remained. No redness, no nothing. I finally got the guts to confess to her, and she accepted me. My clear complexion lasted for approximately 1month, and then it struck again (on a side note, i was using Oxy even when i had no pimples, thinking it'd prevent future outbreaks).
This time, it was more severe, and Oxy couldn't help. It actually healed again after 4-5 months when i started using an oxygen-based cream, but once i halted the treatment it returned. I turned to a doctor, and that was what triggered the most severe acne outbreak in my life. Both my cheeks became extremely swollen and blue-blackish in color. The pus was embedded deep in my skin, and the worst part was that there wasn't a thing i could do about it, there was hardly any pimples on my face, just two big swollen lumps on my cheeks. When i say big, i meant it covered the WHOLE cheek. I drew stares wherever i went, and even heard comments about my skin. I was totally devastated.
Having a girlfriend didn't help. I was constantly paranoid of the way people would view me, and think of me. "Holy @#%$, that freak's her boyfriend?" "The world's so unfair, that acne-dude has such a hawt girl." Were some of the fictional thoughts that went through my head whenever i saw someone stare. She told me she didn't care what others thought, and i shouldn't too, but it was hard to do so. The floor became my best friend as i was constantly looking down, not wanting to meet anyone's stares and hoping i wouldn't draw much attention to myself.
I then turned to my mom, who cured a number of acne sufferers with her facials before. I applied apple-cider vinegar on my face twice a day, and it worked wonders in combination with her facials. She took out the pus, and the swelling subsided dramatically. I was happy, hoping that i was on the road to recovery finally, after 13 months of suffering. I was wrong of course, new outbreaks returned time and time again. I tried changing my diet, eating only healthy stuff. Nah, didn't work at all.
I just wanna let you know that its all in your head, people look because they're curious, and not because they're disgusted. There are some idiotic asses out there who are insensitive though. I had two aunties who commented loudly about my skin, saying it was very cham, which hurt me very deeply. People often associate acne with just the pain and the discomfort, but what makes acne so dreadful is the emotional stress that comes with it.
My girlfriend didn't care about my face when it was real bad. I mean REAL bad, seriously. More often than not, people get angry when you become too self-conscious and turn anti-social. Cheer up! I've tried doxycycline and although it brings some really nasty side effects, making me wanna puke all the time, it helps quite abit. I hope this helped, sorry for the long post.