i need advice desperately...breakup with best friend
-
and bear goes into rapid fire mode.Originally posted by the Bear:actually, got a bone to pick with you about this...
you're behaving just like misery... just because you do not believe in platonic relationships with the opposite sex, he cannot believe in it and must "wake up his idea"??
-
Since you know you're being paranoid and you can't change it, why should you expect her to accept you? If you ain't convinced that you can change, I see no point that she should be convinced too?Originally posted by misery=(:i love my best friend. i want the best for her so much so that i become very paranoid when she takes a "different path" from what i perceive as the right one. she is like a very very dear sister to me. i really dont wish to see her being upset.
Think it's better that ya leave her alone till you can get over yourself?
You in agony? Don't wanna see her in pain? Well... Take a guess at what you're doing to her now? -
I'd hate to imagine how you would treat your girlfriend if you have/had one if this is what you do with your best friends. When it comes to relationships and feelings, you are not to judge about something that you are not involved in. I've had people commenting and talking about my relationships in the past.. Be it my friends or my family. Even if you are correct, she needs to learn for herself that he is wrong for her. Being hurt is part and parcel of every relationship. And so is happiness and love etc..Originally posted by misery=(:Dear all
Today marks the 2nd day of my breakup with my best friend. i am feeling very miserable and lost. i have never want to let her go. i have never want to let go of this friendship. i cant bear to. i feel as if a major part of me has died.
she told me that she cant stand it anymore. i am a control freak. i expect her to tell me where and with who she is going out with. recently, she started seeing this guy which i feel that wasnt good enough and whenever she goes out with him, i would get very upset about it. my stand is that i want the best for her and i couldnt see why she doesnt view the same way.
these 2 days i have been doing lots of thinking. i know that it is all my fault that things turn out this way. i shouldnt impose my views on her but i cant help it. i just want the best for her and because of these differences, we quarrel almost everyday. i really dont know how to reconcile these differences and make myself change to "let go".
please help me. i really dont wish to lose her.
Anyway. point is... apologise, tell her you only did it cos you were really concerned with her. And butt out.. only butt in when she comes to you for help. -
Originally posted by misery=(:Dear all
Today marks the 2nd day of my breakup with my best friend. i am feeling very miserable and lost. i have never want to let her go. i have never want to let go of this friendship. i cant bear to. i feel as if a major part of me has died.
she told me that she cant stand it anymore. i am a control freak. i expect her to tell me where and with who she is going out with. recently, she started seeing this guy which i feel that wasnt good enough and whenever she goes out with him, i would get very upset about it. my stand is that i want the best for her and i couldnt see why she doesnt view the same way.
are u in love with her???
these 2 days i have been doing lots of thinking. i know that it is all my fault that things turn out this way. i shouldnt impose my views on her but i cant help it. i just want the best for her and because of these differences, we quarrel almost everyday. i really dont know how to reconcile these differences and make myself change to "let go".
please help me. i really dont wish to lose her. -
i am in love with her but it is a forbidden love...
-
so you are a guy right?Originally posted by misery=(:i am in love with her but it is a forbidden love...
to be honest, the reason u got upset with her seeing her bf was because u were jealous of him, because u like her too right? -
Why so??Originally posted by misery=(:i am in love with her but it is a forbidden love... -
her mum is my god-ma and that makes her my god-sis...
-
Dear all
thanks for your concern these few days. she came back and we patch up and be best friends again. but she also told me that she is now with him. i feel so heart-broken but i just told her that i would always be here for her. so sad now. dono how to move on with life also. -
Originally posted by misery=(:Dear all
thanks for your concern these few days. she came back and we patch up and be best friends again. but she also told me that she is now with him. i feel so heart-broken but i just told her that i would always be here for her. so sad now. dono how to move on with life also.
-
why would u be heartbroken IF she is like a sister to you???Originally posted by misery=(:Dear all
thanks for your concern these few days. she came back and we patch up and be best friends again. but she also told me that she is now with him. i feel so heart-broken but i just told her that i would always be here for her. so sad now. dono how to move on with life also.
you would only be heartbroken if all this while, deep down, u loved her as more than a sister. Am I right? -
Heng,
i believe you are right. all along, i love her more than a best friend or a sister. i wanted more but deep down, i know that it is not possible. i always tell her that i want the best for her and try to control and rule her life. deep down in my heart, what i really want to tell her is that i want to take care of her. -
then all the while when u say u just want the best for her as a brother, u have been lying to her. your lying has hurt her deeply. it has also hurt the relationship between the 2 of you, and your jealousy is interfering with her happiness.Originally posted by misery=(:Heng,
i believe you are right. all along, i love her more than a best friend or a sister. i wanted more but deep down, i know that it is not possible. i always tell her that i want the best for her and try to control and rule her life. deep down in my heart, what i really want to tell her is that i want to take care of her.
u have lied to us too, making it difficult for us to diagnose the problem and come up with a sloution earlier.
while i do agree u need to be careful about letting her know your feelings for her, it doesn't mean u can try to ruin any r/s she tries to have with other guys by disgusing your jealousy at those guys as "concern for her".
i think u really have to think long and hard about what u have done, and not to make the same mistake anymore. -
i have lost the person i love most. life will never be the same again. it hurts deep. please tell me how do i move on from here. i am toying with the thought of going overseas to work to escape this.
-
how old are you?
-
i am in my mid twenties
-
u have to learn to control your jealousies, learn to let go, to be happy for the one u love. running away is not a solution.
-
haha.. its just a case of a "think too much"
pls la.. its kinda obvious u dun treat her as a "friend"... as much as u are trying to convince us, or is it yourself, u obviously are smitten by her or smth..
its confirm plus guaruntee wierd to be all over her, when u dun even hv the right to.
i used to be like u too. but i am changing, u just hv to lighten up and be realistic. sheesh, she has brains too u know.. she probably knows whats good for her etc.. no need u to tell her... macham like insulting her intelligence or smth.
next time u get into a real relationship, u will be even more possessive.. so u betta start changing ba.
-
if i am smitten by her, it has been a good six years already. how to forget and let go just like that? it used to be just me and her, now it is him and her. just the thought of it hurts badly. even when i am posting this msg now, i feel as if i am bleeding inside. dramatic? no, it is the truth.
-
sheesh...Originally posted by misery=(:i have lost the person i love most. life will never be the same again. it hurts deep. please tell me how do i move on from here. i am toying with the thought of going overseas to work to escape this.
this is way dumb -
do u really care for her as u claim? if u do, then let loosen up on her.Originally posted by misery=(:if i am smitten by her, it has been a good six years already. how to forget and let go just like that? it used to be just me and her, now it is him and her. just the thought of it hurts badly. even when i am posting this msg now, i feel as if i am bleeding inside. dramatic? no, it is the truth.
it is a obsession like yours that lead to that guy to throw his gf off the block of flats.
bleeding inside? deal with it. i did. no one is asking u to forget or to let go, but rather, to loosen up, and remember that, you are NOT in control of her in any way. -
firstly. if u are smitten by her, admit it, instead of being hypocritical and calling her "best friend" it appears she doesn't treat u as a friend anymore anywayOriginally posted by misery=(:if i am smitten by her, it has been a good six years already. how to forget and let go just like that? it used to be just me and her, now it is him and her. just the thought of it hurts badly. even when i am posting this msg now, i feel as if i am bleeding inside. dramatic? no, it is the truth.
2ndly, loosen up, not loosen your jaw by impacting it from a 20 story jump in toa payoh or smth. be courteous, its not an easy chore to clean up a pile of dead flesh ok..
3rdly, u should seriously stop discriminating others like "oh this guy isn't good for her.." etc, cuz if u know u are smitten, every guy she goes out with, to you will be "not good for her" cuz u want to be the guy she is holding hands with. so seriously, stop being hypocritical and delusional..
4thly. is there a 4thly? u should evaluate your actions, for the upteenth time... u better change your attitute b4 u end up an old virgin.. seriously, no one likes being told what to do.. and yes, it hurts to be taken for granted then when she gets into trouble she runs back to you, then later runs off with another guy, thats what a platonic "best friend" is for.
cheerio
-
maybe i love myself more...
-
maybe i love myself more...
-
maybe you do.Originally posted by misery=(:maybe i love myself more...
and maybe u've never thought about this, but maybe u are definately NOT the best guy for her. maybe in fact, you are behaving so badly that she hardly even considers u to be on her top 100 list for "guys i can have a r/s with"
repent, or the end is near.