sex wid ex
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well since u decided to move on, this was another lesson that u have learnt. cheer up n tomorrow will be better.
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Even if u thot it was safe, if he asked u for sex, u cld've refused.
Understand tt I'm Not judging u, but it's Not fair to put the blame on ur ex & going, "I thot, I thot".
Wat's impt now is to strengthen ur willpower. Learn to sez NO the next time round. *hugz*
RPOriginally posted by e_d_ot:my ex: when we use to be together...he's the one refusing sex...tt's y i thought he's not so into sex...tts y i thought it was safe...
i regretted my actions cos i did not go there thinking tt i wanna hav sex wid him...if that were to be the case, i would not be regrettin now....
i did thought of wat i would do, and how i would feel if my bf had sex wid another girl outside...i tink i would feel ok, as long as he doesn let me noe...
which led to my decision to not let him noe y i wanted to break off wid him...and, he didn ask as well....so frm wat ditzy interpretated, he doesn give a damn abt me...
wat should not have happened, has happened....i tink rite now, i should move on, n prevent this kind of stuff frm happening again...
the guilt is horrible...hav never felt so guilty b4.... -
Originally posted by e_d_ot:i went to my ex's place and somehow we ended up havin sex....while being in a relationship wid this guy
wat should i do..i feel so jian4...
i hav since broke the relationship wid him...cos i couldn stand facing him, cos i betrayed his trust....
but i really love him alot....i dunno wat got into me at that time...
You are one foolish girl. Such situations can be eliminated totally, but the lack of love wisdom really kills. In the first place, why go to his house? A good friend still doesn't matter that much - but when it comes to ex, it's very much different.
House = privacy = breed intimacy.
If you see this link here, you will understand where your ex got his courage and guts to make his advancement.
When he began his initial campaign, if you are not firm enough to keep your stand, he sensed them and invaded further. The minute you relent, you are dead and thus the sorry event of today.
Everyone has a devil within. Refusing sex when he is with you shows that he respected you as his girlfriend and it is within his mindset to. But the minute he drop this facade - he is reduced back to a man, no longer a boyfriend. Why doesn't he wants sex if he could possible get them? You are too naive. Not saying all men would do as follow but when the dick holds stronger political power, the mind follows suit.Originally posted by e_d_ot:when we use to be together...he's the one refusing sex...tt's y i thought he's not so into sex...tts y i thought it was safe... Emotions are 24 times stronger than the rational mind. (Emotions includes lust)
I am quite sure there may be some unresolved feelings between you and him, which contribute to the lack of barrier and resistance. RP mentioned you could reject him, but you didn't.
People here are too polite to say anything: Now you want to run away from your current relationship because you don't know how to face your bf. I will be brutely honest here: its may not be them - it's most probably you.
The reason why he didn't ask why is NOT because he don't care - probably this relationship to him is already meaningless in the first place. You mentioned that you already initiated two break-up in a week - either you both patched back almost immediately after the first break-up or he didn't agree with it.
He would have knew beforehand that you wanted to go; there was something wrong. A bruised male ego will never question as to prevent inflicting of further pain. He may/may not know something - but does it matter when you want to go? The gulit that pricks you, so you feel that leaving the relationship will cease the gulit within you?
You are leaving because you want to make yourself feel better, not for the welfare of the relationship. How do you know he wants to let go of this relationship? Have he known anything to make any proper decision for the outcome of the relationship? It's you who decides because you can't take it emotionally.
You did wrong, you should spill it out and leave the fate of the relationship in his hands, not yours because your gulit will never be release through deception. If he feels that he can't take it and agreed to break-up, your gulit wouldn't remain and the result will end up the same way. You then should learn your lesson, pick up your pieces and move on.
If he wants to retain the relationship because he loves you? Will you be able to make this second chance genuine? Or even then, you still want to leave? Then, the reason may not be entirely the gulit - it's your freewill and the strength of your love.
P.S: Are you a pisces?
Cheers -
Hey waaaaaaaaaaaaaiiiiiiiiiiit a min
I'm Piscean, & wat has THAT gotta do wif anythg, HAR?!?!?!?!??!
Anyhow anyhow sez
RPOriginally posted by Yunhaier:
Everyone has a devil within. Refusing sex when he is with you shows that he respected you as his girlfriend and it is within his mindset to. But the minute he drop this facade - he is reduced back to a man, no longer a boyfriend. Why doesn't he wants sex if he could possible get them? You are too naive. Not saying all men would do as follow but when the dick holds stronger political power, the mind follows suit. Emotions are 24 times stronger than the rational mind. (Emotions includes lust)
I am quite sure there may be some unresolved feelings between you and him, which contribute to the lack of barrier and resistance. RP mentioned you could reject him, but you didn't.
People here are too polite to say anything: Now you want to run away from your current relationship because you don't know how to face your bf. I will be brutely honest here: [b]its may not be them - it's most probably you.
The reason why he didn't ask why is NOT because he don't care - probably this relationship to him is already meaningless in the first place. You mentioned that you already initiated two break-up in a week - either you both patched back almost immediately after the first break-up or he didn't agree with it.
He would have knew beforehand that you wanted to go; there was something wrong. A bruised male ego will never question as to prevent inflicting of further pain. He may/may not know something - but does it matter when you want to go? The gulit that pricks you, so you feel that leaving the relationship will cease the gulit within you?
You are leaving because you want to make yourself feel better, not for the welfare of the relationship. How do you know he wants to let go of this relationship? Have he known anything to make any proper decision for the outcome of the relationship? It's you who decides because you can't take it emotionally.
You did wrong, you should spill it out and leave the fate of the relationship in his hands, not yours because your gulit will never be release through deception. If he feels that he can't take it and agreed to break-up, your gulit wouldn't remain and the result will end up the same way. You then should learn your lesson, pick up your pieces and move on.
If he wants to retain the relationship because he loves you? Will you be able to make this second chance genuine? Or even then, you still want to leave? Then, the reason may not be entirely the gulit - it's your freewill and the strength of your love.
P.S: Are you a pisces?
Cheers [/b] -
Originally posted by RainbowPrincess:Hey waaaaaaaaaaaaaiiiiiiiiiiit a min
I'm Piscean, & wat has THAT gotta do wif anythg, HAR?!?!?!?!??!
Anyhow anyhow sez
RP Hahahaha... not you lar; just the usual routine to end my post. -
Originally posted by RainbowPrincess:Hey waaaaaaaaaaaaaiiiiiiiiiiit a min
I'm Piscean, & wat has THAT gotta do wif anythg, HAR?!?!?!?!??!
Anyhow anyhow sez
RP Heh... -
V. insulting leh, can use OTHER signs or Not?
Piscean out, Aries out (I'm born @ the end of Pisces, so oso haf Aries characteristics)
Pls use Leo or Gemini
RPOriginally posted by Yunhaier: Hahahaha... not you lar; just the usual routine to end my post. -
Eh hem, wat's THAT supposed to mean, har???
RPOriginally posted by M©+square: Heh... -
Originally posted by RainbowPrincess:Hey waaaaaaaaaaaaaiiiiiiiiiiit a min
I'm Piscean, & wat has THAT gotta do wif anythg, HAR?!?!?!?!??!
Anyhow anyhow sez
RP
" -
Originally posted by Yunhaier:
i was the one who wanted it, he's the one who refuses it...when we were both together...
Everyone has a devil within. Refusing sex when he is with you shows that he respected you as his girlfriend and it is within his mindset to. But the minute he drop this facade - he is reduced back to a man, no longer a boyfriend. Why doesn't he wants sex if he could possible get them? You are too naive. Not saying all men would do as follow but when the dick holds stronger political power, the mind follows suit. Emotions are 24 times stronger than the rational mind. (Emotions includes lust)
I am quite sure there may be some unresolved feelings between you and him, which contribute to the lack of barrier and resistance. RP mentioned you could reject him, but you didn't.
People here are too polite to say anything: Now you want to run away from your current relationship because you don't know how to face your bf. I will be brutely honest here: [b]its may not be them - it's most probably you.
The reason why he didn't ask why is NOT because he don't care - probably this relationship to him is already meaningless in the first place. You mentioned that you already initiated two break-up in a week - either you both patched back almost immediately after the first break-up or he didn't agree with it.
He would have knew beforehand that you wanted to go; there was something wrong. A bruised male ego will never question as to prevent inflicting of further pain. He may/may not know something - but does it matter when you want to go? The gulit that pricks you, so you feel that leaving the relationship will cease the gulit within you?
You are leaving because you want to make yourself feel better, not for the welfare of the relationship. How do you know he wants to let go of this relationship? Have he known anything to make any proper decision for the outcome of the relationship? It's you who decides because you can't take it emotionally.
You did wrong, you should spill it out and leave the fate of the relationship in his hands, not yours because your gulit will never be release through deception. If he feels that he can't take it and agreed to break-up, your gulit wouldn't remain and the result will end up the same way. You then should learn your lesson, pick up your pieces and move on.
If he wants to retain the relationship because he loves you? Will you be able to make this second chance genuine? Or even then, you still want to leave? Then, the reason may not be entirely the gulit - it's your freewill and the strength of your love.
P.S: Are you a pisces?
Cheers [/b]
i went to his place to collect some of my stuff that i left in his place...partly also bcos i was in the vicinity at that time...
by the time i knew wat happened, he was already penetrating me....
regardin runnng away frm facing everything, i dunno wat to do, i juz thought that might be the best course of action...
how do i let him noe? i'm hearing different views....and all the more i'm unsure of wat i should or should not do.... -
why leo or gemini?
i'm leo.
why bring up signs in the first place?
Originally posted by RainbowPrincess:V. insulting leh, can use OTHER signs or Not?
Piscean out, Aries out (I'm born @ the end of Pisces, so oso haf Aries characteristics)
Pls use Leo or Gemini
RP -
Before u knew wat happened, he was oredi penetrating u?
U mean to tell us, he drugged u or used chlorofoam/ether spray on u such tt u passed out?
That wld constitute RAPE. Are u SURE???
Look, I'm sorree I'm being harsh here. But pls take responsibility for ur actions. Instead of repeating tt u thot it was safe, u thot ur ex was safe, & heaping all sorts of blame onto him, why dun u juz own up to ur own folly?
It's MY mistake, but I'll learn from it. That, will get u much more respect & ur dignity back.
RPOriginally posted by e_d_ot:i was the one who wanted it, he's the one who refuses it...when we were both together...
i went to his place to collect some of my stuff that i left in his place...partly also bcos i was in the vicinity at that time...
by the time i knew wat happened, he was already penetrating me....
regardin runnng away frm facing everything, i dunno wat to do, i juz thought that might be the best course of action...
how do i let him noe? i'm hearing different views....and all the more i'm unsure of wat i should or should not do.... -
Aiyo
Cosh my frens Not Leo nor Gemini mahhh So since it's Nobody I noe, use Leo or Gemini lorr!
RPOriginally posted by foga:why leo or gemini?
i'm leo.
why bring up signs in the first place? -
i did not say it's not my mistake....
i forgot where i was, and being sleepy...i thought he was my bf... -
Okie, assuming now tt wat u sez abt thinking ur ex was ur bf isn't juz another excuse.
Perhaps u shd tell ur bf (now ex) abt it, & see if he'll forgive u. At least u wld KNOW tt u've tried, rather than live wif the guilt.
I'm sorree I'm harsh on u, dear girl. But sometimes I hafta "wake a person up" the hard way.
RPOriginally posted by e_d_ot:i did not say it's not my mistake....
i forgot where i was, and being sleepy...i thought he was my bf... -
RP: i juz dunno wat to do....and it seems so easy to juz run away n not face it again,.....
i've been wanting to tell him, but i'm scared....and how do i tell him that? -
u must ask yourself, if he did it without your consent. it's rape. tell ur boyfriend what happend, if he really loves you, he'll understand and help you. between couples, i believe there should not be anything to keep from each other. god blessOriginally posted by e_d_ot:i did not say it's not my mistake....
i forgot where i was, and being sleepy...i thought he was my bf... -
i think u need to elaborate on what actually transpired at that time...
one moment u say this the nex moment u say that...now its beginning to sound like unconsented sex....which amounts to tantamount rape... -
Edot,
There's No ez way, I'm afraid. The probability of him being upset & hysterical is high, & u hafta expect tt when u tell him.
It's ezier to run away, but look @ wat u're feeling now --> Guilt.
Izzit actually ezier? This is somethg only u can ans.
I wld think it's ezier to 'fess up, & start all over again. Tell urself Never to do it anymore. If ur bf accepts it, & loves u enuff to forgive u, give him tt solemn promise u'll NEVER again betray his trust.
RPOriginally posted by e_d_ot:RP: i juz dunno wat to do....and it seems so easy to juz run away n not face it again,.....
i've been wanting to tell him, but i'm scared....and how do i tell him that? -
ha...truth is e only way u can be without greed is to tell him.... n leave it to him to decide if he wants u back.... let him know that u regreted it but if he thinks he can hold that against u in future or use it to get what he wants than e relationship is over..... or the best thing u can do is to move on in life...get over him n if things r meant to be than u 2 will be together in future...there is no use forcing things....especially emotions....
All things happen for a reason...maybe it was a signal to u that e last 2 guys u went out with r not worth e effort ya.... maybe u all need to grow abit more.....cos if u dun....things will still happen n in e end,it will still be an unhappy ending.....sometimes we have to learn to let go ya....it's e hardest thing to do but once u do.... u will feel a burden of ur chest....
Hope u r feeling better already..... u will go thru a long hard process of recovery but we will all be there for u.... -
Originally posted by e_d_ot:i was the one who wanted it, he's the one who refuses it...when we were both together...
i went to his place to collect some of my stuff that i left in his place...partly also bcos i was in the vicinity at that time...
by the time i knew wat happened, he was already penetrating me....
regardin runnng away frm facing everything, i dunno wat to do, i juz thought that might be the best course of action...
how do i let him noe? i'm hearing different views....and all the more i'm unsure of wat i should or should not do.... Who wanted sex has no impact on current relationship; which means if you are with him and you wanted it, there are no qualms about it if you are comfortable and know what you are doing.
I already explained why he did tried to screw you, despite his original behavior of rejecting your desire in the past.
In short: Time change, people change. Guys don't mind screwing girls that don't belong to them and you can be surprised how rigid they could be with their actual love.
This is so terrible. How you can be so easy with yourself and constitute your action by saying that you didn't know what was going on? It means RAPE if you are unwillingly and the ultimate question remains: ARE YOU? My dear girl, you can't just let things happen, avoid and say 'I dunno what's happening.' Psychologically, when we are lost, we revert back to our childhood behavior; we dump our trouble, hoping that everything will vanish and something/someone will take care of the mess...
THIS WILL NEVER HAPPEN.
If we were to see this situations in ways of the animal kingdom: You, the female, dropped subtle seduction messages that he picked up somehow and instigated his lust. There are many issues that you would have left out and these are your little clues that would contribute to this fateful event.
Advice?
Avoid reverting to childhood and resume being an adult - the one that does what they need to do because there is no one else to clear the sh!t. This event was born from you, even if you have to be in bad light or whatsoever thingy - that, truely, is just a little punishment for you to gain enlightenment and wisdom. Consider the following options:
I) Learn to love yourself, learn to grow up, learn to treasure yourself. Continue current attitude and thinking is undesirable, even if future relationship were to come - the basis of your personality will bound to invite unwanted scenarios that would drive you crazy.
II) You have to tell him. Seriously, what's going you back from telling him? Because you don't want to appear as the bad girl in the picture? You already have plans to leave him, even if you were to tell him, it shouldn't change the fact (unless he loved you very deep).
- Plan structure of your talk. This talk probably has a concluding effect. Therefore, the content of your conversation can be long, it doesn't matter. Most important, the things you wanna say to him and the things he ought to know, add it in.
- Location important. Seriously, no meeting at each other's house. Go somewhere quiet. A beach or park or something.
III) If this relationship doesn't last - avoid any form of BGR within the next 12 months. Take this good opportunity to reflect upon yourself. Borders and Kinokuniya has thousands of books that you can read and they will bring your love wisdom to greater heights. Observe others and most important; learn from where you walked wrongly.
Cheers -
Originally posted by Yunhaier:
FRee promo for e book stores ya....
III) If this relationship doesn't last - avoid any form of BGR within the next 12 months. Take this good opportunity to reflect upon yourself. Borders and Kinokuniya has thousands of books that you can read and they will bring your love wisdom to greater heights. Observe others and most important; learn from where you walked wrongly.
Cheers [/b]
maybe can suggest a few tittles to her.....
used to work at kino so i know such books r at e self help section on e platform.....near children's department.... -
if i am your bf i rather you did tell me !!! you may think that keeping it in your heart may keep it from him from knowing and hence treat it as nothing happen . i think thats the easy way out . you are escaping from the problem . yea maybe telling him this and next time he will use it against you or worst spread it around but its better then you keep it in you heart haunting you .
i think in the back of your mind you still want him as your bf. but you scare if you told him about it and DANG straight away no HOPE liao .
BUT i dont know for your ex . for me SURE i will be angry and enrage with fire . however if she show me that she really love me deep enough . i will or "maybe will" forgive but never forget about it .
CAUSE i know we human never meant to be perfect in some way we fail , we fall so i think i will give her another chance and maybe be she will love me more cause i guess she definitely will learn the lesson by then .
This is some advice but its you to take the action !
btw wanna thanx Yunhaier for help me last time !
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Originally posted by harryryan:FRee promo for e book stores ya....
maybe can suggest a few tittles to her.....
used to work at kino so i know such books r at e self help section on e platform.....near children's department.... I dunno, I always read randomly. A good start would be Relationship for Dummies.
Cheers -
Not a problem. Gald to be of any assistance.Originally posted by archie84:if i am your bf i rather you did tell me !!! you may think that keeping it in your heart may keep it from him from knowing and hence treat it as nothing happen . i think thats the easy way out . you are escaping from the problem . yea maybe telling him this and next time he will use it against you or worst spread it around but its better then you keep it in you heart haunting you .
i think in the back of your mind you still want him as your bf. but you scare if you told him about it and DANG straight away no HOPE liao .
BUT i dont know for your ex . for me SURE i will be angry and enrage with fire . however if she show me that she really love me deep enough . i will or "maybe will" forgive but never forget about it .
CAUSE i know we human never meant to be perfect in some way we fail , we fall so i think i will give her another chance and maybe be she will love me more cause i guess she definitely will learn the lesson by then .
This is some advice but its you to take the action !
btw wanna thanx Yunhaier for help me last time ! 
Cheers