Hard to understand guyz
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guys just try to act strong and most of the time they are successful. the only reason i'm in singapore is the girl i loved. i opted to stay for her and end up losing her and many other things even the way to go back. i don't regret that. she is the finest person that i have met so far .it has already been quite a long time but memories of her are still fresh. i just try to pretend strong and have a fake smile on my face and i'm the only one who knows the reality. after office i'm not in the mood to go home. i just roam around in this small island and when i'm tired i just go back and fall on the bed.Originally posted by aivlis:Juz my luck that I've met quite a few guyz who treat me like that. Sighz. So sweet one moment, and the next, they dun give a hoot abt anything that concerns u. One of my guy frenz said, he broke up with his gf once, and the moment he stepped out of her house, he was calling his frens and thinking of where to haf fun. Most guyz are able to get on with their lives so easily hey. Amazed.
don't think that guys don't have feelings and emotions.
P.S. nobody will appease a weeping/crying guy as people would do for a girl. take my words for that -
i dun think it's a bad thing that guys can, or seem to get on with their lives quicker. i mean if it's over it's over. of course, not all guys recover fast, and not all the time.
women are "what if" creatures. when a guy gets over a reln quickly, she'll say "what if we did stay together, then it wouldn't be a good reln, becos since he's over me so quickly, he mustn't have loved me..." they also do "no wonder" alot. no wonder he was so "this and that" to me, becos he doesn't really love me, look at how fast he's moved on!
that's not to say women suck. i think that's wat makes women which fortunately, is the gender that i fall for!
i guess provided that u are able to "smile becos it happened" u would be able to be happy that he's moved on.
and it really doesn't matter who dumped who does it? perhaps u will still feel a pang after u dump him and he's all good and ok. how do u know that?
be happy it happened. i think with each reln, we take away something very valuable, a great experience we once had, and beautiful memories.
or if u wanna make urself suffer, go ahead and decipher wat went wrong and why he's like that, knowing u might never really know the truth.
obviously if u can, i think the first choice seems more humane! anyway u seem to have ur wits about u, being able to laff at ur own cooking, so i'm sure u'll be fine! u move on too.
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Girls always think that guys are more heartless and emotionless - able to move on faster, etc, while they spend days thinking about their failed relationship, etc.Originally posted by aivlis:Wud like to hear some views about how guyz think.
How is it that guyz are able to forget abt a relationship much more easily than girls? Most guys behave so differently the moment a break up is mentioned. How is it that they are able to forget about what had happened in the past and moved on so fast?? And then girls spent dayz thinking abt the relationship before being able to move on with their lives.
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Girls have many channel of expression to release the kind of stress, agony and tension to their best friend and everything else.
Guys have severely limited channels to talk about their relationship. Alots of my guy friends are good company, but poor advisor/listener/speaker/etc because they are NOT taught to feel with their heart and speak.
Having to roam around Aunt Agony for a more than 3 years - I notice the percentage of guys posting their problems here is much more than girls. Because in this virtual space, for some guys, it is the only/few resort left.
P.S: When guys don't show emotionally wounded they are, doesn't mean they don't bleed inside them.
Cheers -
well Miss.. i think that there are guys and gals alike who can just 'forget' a relationship just like that. as for me i can't. maybe it's because she's my first and only love? found her after like 19 years of my exciting but lonely life.been together since then but in this case she's more 'able' to let go of a relationship and continue with life unlike me. and what more i am the guy!! most times i feel i'm more emotional than her and that's bad..maybe it's cause my gal has gone thru 3 relationships excluding mine? sometimes i myself ask what u are asking and that's "why is that my gal can actually forget about it when the time comes instead of trying to salvage the relationship with me?" not that anything happened between us but from what i see, should anything happen, i'll be the one who get hurt much more than her.
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I totally agree with u on woman being "what if" and "no wonder" creatures.Originally posted by jOhO:i dun think it's a bad thing that guys can, or seem to get on with their lives quicker. i mean if it's over it's over. of course, not all guys recover fast, and not all the time.
women are "what if" creatures. when a guy gets over a reln quickly, she'll say "what if we did stay together, then it wouldn't be a good reln, becos since he's over me so quickly, he mustn't have loved me..." they also do "no wonder" alot. no wonder he was so "this and that" to me, becos he doesn't really love me, look at how fast he's moved on!
that's not to say women suck. i think that's wat makes women which fortunately, is the gender that i fall for!
i guess provided that u are able to "smile becos it happened" u would be able to be happy that he's moved on.
and it really doesn't matter who dumped who does it? perhaps u will still feel a pang after u dump him and he's all good and ok. how do u know that?
be happy it happened. i think with each reln, we take away something very valuable, a great experience we once had, and beautiful memories.
or if u wanna make urself suffer, go ahead and decipher wat went wrong and why he's like that, knowing u might never really know the truth.
obviously if u can, i think the first choice seems more humane! anyway u seem to have ur wits about u, being able to laff at ur own cooking, so i'm sure u'll be fine! u move on too. 
I'm totally ok with things now, at least no more crying or having sleepless nights. (Cooking still no okay. Tsk.) However, if i ever do get into another relationship, and that relationship fails.....being a woman, I know for sure that i will still spend weeks thinking about what went wrong. Afterall, i'm still a woman. Sighz. Even though I know it will be a waste of time. -
Hmm...so i guess guyz are juz able to conceal their emotions better than girls, but doesn't mean that they are less hurt, right??
Blame it on the society, or the way they are brought them, that guyz haf to try put on a strong front, esp at times when they feel vulnerable. It's not being hypocrite, it's juz the way man have learnt as they grow up. Something which i still find it hard to understand, but I juz haf to accept it. Maybe that's how man are supposed to be, i.e. stronger than woman, physically, mentally, emotionally?!
Whatever it is, doesn't matter which gender u r, esp if u r the one dumping a person, do try to show a little bit of compassion even if u no longer love the person. Try to understand that u may haf stopped loving the person long time ago, so it was easier for u to let go of the relationship, but it's not so easy on the person being dumped. Instead of ignoring the person completely, thinking that it will be easier on the person to forget abt u, haf a good talk and try to make the person understand that it is useless to carry on the relationship if one party stopped feeling the sparks. Takes two hands to clap. both parties haf to be happy, for a relationship to work. But NEVER, cut ties off completely and suddenly, and NEVER NEVER say "stay as frens", if back in ur mind, u don't intend to.
Don't say things which u don't mean it, juz to make the person happy for that moment. cos if the person does find out that u had lied, she/he will hate u for a longer period of time than she was happy. The world is small, esp in Spore, u will meet her one day, somewhere, some place. Not a nice sight, if she still can't forgive u for wat u did to her.
P/S. if my cooking was the problem, then...NEVER NEVER NEVER dump a person cos he/she can't cook. Enrol her in cooking classes instead....... Juz kidding. Cold sat morning makes me happy. -
Most guys are poor listeners. Whenever you tell them about your breakup, they'll just go ya..., is it? really? But you did have a good bonk...right...at least...
But seriously they are not the least interested. Which is why women are better to talk to after a breakup. If you wish to have a good analysis that is.. If you want to have fun and forget about it, I'd say go out with the guys and have a ball.
I feel it's pretty good to analyse every break-up. Just so you have a rough idea of wat went wrong and try to make sure the next one turns out right. Just dun do it alone. Try discussing it with friends. Expose all details except for those in the bedroom unless of course they are close friends of yours. But the most important thing is to stop brooding and get over it. To pine for a lost love is a silly thing to do, esp if that person no longer loves you. -
ehhe women are just so endearing..Originally posted by aivlis:I totally agree with u on woman being "what if" and "no wonder" creatures. I'm totally ok with things now, at least no more crying or having sleepless nights. (Cooking still no okay. Tsk.) However, if i ever do get into another relationship, and that relationship fails.....being a woman, I know for sure that i will still spend weeks thinking about what went wrong. Afterall, i'm still a woman. Sighz. Even though I know it will be a waste of time.
anyway why dun u help me too... i'm at work now, have a full day ahead of me... and i feel like ending it already, feeling like crap. alas, physical tiredness prevails... the mind is willing but the body is weak.
ok no more late nite "playing around" with other pple's women anymore...
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Different guys different character mah
some get over quickly
some take forever
me - i dont get over cos i have never been in a relationship b4 lol -
if u're the party who dun want to end a relationship, of course u'll find it hard to forget...
but if u simply dun like the other party or are even sick of them already, definitely u'll carry on with ur life much faster after the break up -
tsk tsk....."playing around"??? do it in the morning lor...that at night sleep early....Originally posted by jOhO:ehhe women are just so endearing..
anyway why dun u help me too... i'm at work now, have a full day ahead of me... and i feel like ending it already, feeling like crap. alas, physical tiredness prevails... the mind is willing but the body is weak.
ok no more late nite "playing around" with other pple's women anymore... -
true true.....maybe i'll not be so serious in any coming relationships until i'm ready to settle down...meanwhile, juz haf fun while it lasts??!! hehehe....Originally posted by UandMe:if u're the party who dun want to end a relationship, of course u'll find it hard to forget...
but if u simply dun like the other party or are even sick of them already, definitely u'll carry on with ur life much faster after the break up
anyone need companionship??? -
eheh no lar not that kind of playing around.Originally posted by aivlis:tsk tsk....."playing around"??? do it in the morning lor...that at night sleep early....
my work involves women till quite late at nite sometimes. men also lar... but the important person for the day is the woman.
so, as a woman, which do u think is the most important nite of ur life? -
Wat's ur job?? anymore vacancies??Originally posted by jOhO:eheh no lar not that kind of playing around.
my work involves women till quite late at nite sometimes. men also lar... but the important person for the day is the woman.
so, as a woman, which do u think is the most important nite of ur life?
wat do u mean by most impt nite of my life?? those nights when i go clubbing?? hhehehe...seriously, i dun understand ur question. -
Originally posted by aivlis:
no offence...but think u r the "sticky" type. do u call yr ex every now & then ( as in a few calls a day?) cos some guys hated it (e.g. ME!!) and i really hated people who call non-stop...there must be some reason why a person didnt pick up a call (e.g.dont want to answer , not free to answer)
The story goes like this:
I used to date this guy, and things were going really well. I even flew back to Spore for a week juz to see him. Wasted my money. I din even bother to go clubbing. Wasted my time and opportunities to meet other pple. Anywayz, during tat week in spore, he asked for a break up. it's like we din even quarrel once before. and I even cooked dinner for him the day before the breakup. And after the mention of the break up, it took like 20missed calls to receive an sms from him. He asked me why i called so many times. So i said, if u answered the call the 1st time, I wouldn't need to call so many times rite?!!! Tsktsk. and the night before i was leaving spore, i asked if he could come over, he said OK. I waited the whole nite and he din come. Told me the next day that he fell asleep. wat the?!!! and i had to plead with him to send me off at the airport ok. another wt??!!! Feel so pathetic when I come to think of it. And I still haf no idea what went wrong. Maybe my cooking was really bad... hehehe..[/b]
maybe he has another gal liao? did u ask him the reason for the breakup? -
I'm never the "sticky" type, can't stand those pple. Maybe I gave too much freedom, so he thot i din care abt him. aiya..it's over. Anywayz, I called him so many times that day cos I was leaving Spore the next day. It was my last chance that i could meet up with him so i called. Since then, i think i called him abt 2/3 times the following week, then later, i dun bother to call him anymore. now, we've lost contact.Originally posted by ozon:no offence...but think u r the "sticky" type. do u call yr ex every now & then ( as in a few calls a day?) cos some guys hated it (e.g. ME!!) and i really hated people who call non-stop...there must be some reason why a person didnt pick up a call (e.g.dont want to answer , not free to answer)
maybe he has another gal liao? did u ask him the reason for the breakup?
I'm wondering.... After a breakup, should a couple remain friends or never to contact each other again?
If it's the latter, isn't it better for pple to be juz frens, then there won't be such thing as a break up?? Have mutiple good frens then everyday is a happy day??!!! Person A breaks ur heart, go to Person B. Easy come, easy go....wat do u think?? -
yeah , i think still can remain as a friend provided the other party wanted also...
just tell yrself that it is his loss for not "treasuring" u...there might be other guy out there more suitable for u.
he is not gentlemen enough to send u off in the airport...
u shd just forget abt him , keep yrself busy & socialise more ( but dont rush into relationships yet) -
I asked him to give a reason why he wanted the break up, he said he is just tired. I have no idea what he is tired about. Maybe it's the long distance since i'm studying overseas. Then he should tell me earlier rite? so i din haf to waste money going back to spore. The day before the break up, everything was ok, i was still in the "in love" mood ok.Originally posted by ozon:
no offence...but think u r the "sticky" type. do u call yr ex every now & then ( as in a few calls a day?) cos some guys hated it (e.g. ME!!) and i really hated people who call non-stop...there must be some reason why a person didnt pick up a call (e.g.dont want to answer , not free to answer)maybe he has another gal liao? did u ask him the reason for the breakup?
I asked if he has another girl, he juz replied "Don't think too much".
Wat kinda answer is that? it's either yes or no...but i got "Don't think too much".
Some gal frens then told me, sometimes, some pple juz lose feelings for pple they once loved, no reasons. After a break up, If u haf reflected on ur behaviour, and think that u didn't do anything wrong, then juz move on with ur life. Don't bother asking why? how? Such questions will not make life better....and u will never get the answers. -
heeh maybe u're still youngOriginally posted by aivlis:Wat's ur job?? anymore vacancies??
wat do u mean by most impt nite of my life?? those nights when i go clubbing?? hhehehe...seriously, i dun understand ur question.
i'm a wedding day photographer.
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most probably he is tired of the long distance relationships...Originally posted by aivlis:I asked him to give a reason why he wanted the break up, he said he is just tired. I have no idea what he is tired about. Maybe it's the long distance since i'm studying overseas. Then he should tell me earlier rite? so i din haf to waste money going back to spore. The day before the break up, everything was ok, i was still in the "in love" mood ok.
I asked if he has another girl, he juz replied "Don't think too much".
Wat kinda answer is that? it's either yes or no...but i got "Don't think too much".
Some gal frens then told me, sometimes, some pple juz lose feelings for pple they once loved, no reasons. After a break up, If u haf reflected on ur behaviour, and think that u didn't do anything wrong, then juz move on with ur life. Don't bother asking why? how? Such questions will not make life better....and u will never get the answers.
u shd just respect his decision and move on cos yr relationship with him fail the test...
in one way or another , it might turn out to be blessing in disguise. u might find a better guy out there -
of cos still young ....twenteen only. still teenager. hehehe.. hmmm.....u need someone to help u change film?? make coffee? need to look for job soon.... graduating in few months. kinda scared i won't be able to get a job. tsk tsk...Originally posted by jOhO:heeh maybe u're still young
i'm a wedding day photographer. -
ozon --> yep yep yep...... i'm over him long time ago. I'm blessed with heaps of good frens who managed to make my life beautiful again. Not ready for another guy yet...maybe when i'm twenteen-three?? still teen by then... when love comes, it comes. *waiting..* hehehe...
Thanks for everyone's replies. ..To end... I would like to announce something which i'm so proud of. *drum roll* I've learnt to make tiramisu few days ago...yum yum. *overdose of rum* but still nice.
*don't roll ur eyes....* i'm a bad cook, but now, at least i'm proud of my own tiramisu.
Anyone has easy to make recipes?? main dishes/salads/desserts welcome. -
eheh i use digital.. u wanna slot urself into my CF card slot? how much can u store?Originally posted by aivlis:of cos still young ....twenteen only. still teenager. hehehe.. hmmm.....u need someone to help u change film?? make coffee? need to look for job soon.... graduating in few months. kinda scared i won't be able to get a job. tsk tsk...
dun worree too much about wat will happen. just concentrate on ur studies now, and do well for ur exams. -
joho --> can employ me to make coffee and tiramisu?? but it's 3 in 1 coffee lah. but HOMEMADE tiramisu *proud* hehehe... don't talk abt exams. I'm so dead. 3 more weeks. Notes lying on my floor, collecting dust. I get so stressed, i fall asleep. then I wake up, feeling more stressed, cos i wasted time sleeping. It's a sleep-stress cycle.
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*cheers*
french appetizer? wrap a banana with bacon and then deepfry it . when the bacon is golden brown , take out and enjoy!!
erm...read it in other forum , never try b4 , keke...