Its tis Gd Gd Gal and its Juz ME ( And It Juz Never Ends )
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Hehehe...Yunhaier, you are good in astrology...do you know that?
Thank you for your analysing. -
Unbelieveble.... u hit the jackpot with this paragraph.Originally posted by Yunhaier:Because a Scorpio's love is intense - they could snuff out possible breathing space. Scorpio's direction in love is fixed - they are usually loyal to their love ones, more so, comparing to other signs. But because of that, this fixed nature make them very difficult to move on once love is gone. For a Scorpio, they need more time to re-adjust their mindset and emotional structure.
Cheers -
double post
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Sorry for the late reply..Originally posted by Magnus:BaByBoY,
Looks like you have done everything you could & should.
That leaves me with the following conclusions:
- She's keeping her options open.
- You are not who she wants.
- As such, you will always be the 'backup'
How old are both of you by the way?
Probably the only thing to do is to wait for her to realise & accept you. But it can take a short time, long time probably never.
Keep your options open too. Widen your social circle.Channel your energies elsewhere and Develop yourself.
Who knows, she will see you as a different person next time..
i was away for a few days...
we`re 21 and 20 this yr..
but i`ve known her since she`s 13..
so i tink the only thing that i can do now is to wait for her to open up her heart
my options were closed to moment i knew her..
til now i`ve nv considered another gal.. -
Originally posted by edwinSSM:
i cant demand an ans for her.. i don wanna force her into doin things.. if i ever force her to gimme an ans i believe she`ll gimme a big big NO..
It's very selfish of her to give u a 50-50% answer... it's like she's keeping u as the last resort...
U mentioned that she nv directly reject u, it's quite normal for girls to twist here twist there to make the rejection sound less hurtful. I also nv receive a "DIRECT" answer like 'NO WAY'. But i can roughly "assume" the meaning behind those words. So sometimes you have to decipher the meaning of the words she said...
But if u are really keen to get the answer once and for all, go direct to her and [b]DEMAND a straight answer. Ask her to give u a "Yes or No" Answer. Maybe give her one day to think about it, cos if u rush her, she might panick... so ask slowly, softly and sincerely... All the best to u BabyBoy![/b]
u said abt her providing and indirect no??
how can it be after i asked her the qn.. after a few days she`ll still ask me to her house for lunch/dinner..
i mean if she`d been totally wanting to reject me will she still do these?? -
Originally posted by Yunhaier:
wat u suggest here is that i should move on w my life??
It's not about she wanting you as a back-up - its about you who needs her and not vice vista.
You employ excuses to prevent yourself from moving with your own life - you kept thinking that if she was hurt, you want to be there for her because you want to protect her at all cost. The problem is, [b]does she wants that kind of shelter you provide?
You wanna love, but does she wanna receive them? Apparantly not forthcoming.
You wanna shower affection, but is she appreciating it? As a friend, probably yes. Anything further than that? Difficult to say.
You should have move on, but you CHOSE to stay. You don't need advice - you need a decision.
P.S: Are you a Taurus, Cancer, Scorpio or Pisces?
Cheers [/b]
i did tried tt.. but i keep on comin back to the vicious cycle of love..
i`m scared.. i could be verydetermined to leave her.. but once i see her or listened to her voice it`ll all come back to me.. all the memories of her..
unless u forbid me to go to her neighbourhood or places where we do shoppin..otherwise when i go to such places i`ll be reminded of her..
everytime i pass by these places i`ll SEE the 2 of us walkin together..
the images are too terrible for me to phantom...
and i`m not any of the astrological sings u mentioned above.. anyway i`ve tried to love match the 2 of us in some programmes.. it says we haf a rather high score.. -
It's not a vicious cycle... It's just what you believe it is...Originally posted by BaByBoY:wat u suggest here is that i should move on w my life??
i did tried tt.. but i keep on comin back to the vicious cycle of love..i`m scared.. i could be verydetermined to leave her.. but once i see her or listened to her voice it`ll all come back to me.. all the memories of her..
unless u forbid me to go to her neighbourhood or places where we do shoppin..otherwise when i go to such places i`ll be reminded of her..
everytime i pass by these places i`ll SEE the 2 of us walkin together..
the images are too terrible for me to phantom...
and i`m not any of the astrological sings u mentioned above.. anyway i`ve tried to love match the 2 of us in some programmes.. it says we haf a rather high score..
And the more you hang on to that form of mentality, the unhealthier it would be....
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The more you try to avoid her the more she stays on your mind. It's very simple why, you're reminding yourself to avoid her. Learn to relax after she rejected you and just go out with her as a friend. Once you can tell yourself you don't need to avoid her even though she rejected you. You can easily walk out of your own shadow.Originally posted by BaByBoY:wat u suggest here is that i should move on w my life??
i did tried tt.. but i keep on comin back to the vicious cycle of love..
i`m scared.. i could be verydetermined to leave her.. but once i see her or listened to her voice it`ll all come back to me.. all the memories of her..
unless u forbid me to go to her neighbourhood or places where we do shoppin..otherwise when i go to such places i`ll be reminded of her..
everytime i pass by these places i`ll SEE the 2 of us walkin together..
the images are too terrible for me to phantom...
and i`m not any of the astrological sings u mentioned above.. anyway i`ve tried to love match the 2 of us in some programmes.. it says we haf a rather high score..
Learn to focus on another thing instead of focusing on telling yourself that you need to get over. You won't. The truth is, the stronger you perceive that you're determined to move, the more you get rooted by the same thoughts. Instead, taking it extremely easy might be hard to follow but after a long term, she'll be as good as transparent to you.
That's why I told you to try to ask her again and instead of avoiding her, stay around. Either she'll accept you eventually, or you'll start to forget about her.
Don't force yourself to forget, because the more you do, the less you achieve it. -
BabyBoy, after reading all ur replies, I have to admit i have no idea wat ur friend wants... which explains why u are having such a big headache. Only she knows herself wat she wants...
Regarding vicious cycle, people will just say its u urself whose not trying to move on... But i can fully understand how you are feeling when u said about those happy memories of her coming back to haunt u... I often have those too.
I know its tough to just move on... becos after all these times, I still can't move on too.
U mentioned that u have nv considered another girl, I know why and have been doing the same all these years. The reason is we keep telling ourselves there is no one comes close to her... Am i right? We've virtually given up hope of finding another girl... therefore i suggest we both forget about finding that other girl and instead keep our options open to girls who found us... (Not I haolian hor... just tat I bo pian.)
And one more thing, dun ever try to avoid contact... I try b4, i tried to avoid contact with her for 1 week... and that was one of the worst 1 week i've ever had in my life, the feeling is unimaginable...
So these day i just tok and go out with her as a frend... I know that i won't forget her one lah, so no point putting so much effort trying to forget.
BabyBoy, sorry i can't provide a solution for ur problem. But i'm just trying to let u know that u have someone with the same agony as u, and i believe there are thousands more out there... -
Originally posted by BaByBoY:wat u suggest here is that i should move on w my life??
i did tried tt.. but i keep on comin back to the vicious cycle of love..
i`m scared.. i could be verydetermined to leave her.. but once i see her or listened to her voice it`ll all come back to me.. all the memories of her..
unless u forbid me to go to her neighbourhood or places where we do shoppin..otherwise when i go to such places i`ll be reminded of her..
everytime i pass by these places i`ll SEE the 2 of us walkin together..
the images are too terrible for me to phantom...
and i`m not any of the astrological sings u mentioned above.. anyway i`ve tried to love match the 2 of us in some programmes.. it says we haf a rather high score.. Yes you did tried, but you wasn't willing. You mind simply tells you to move on logically, but you heart remains where it was. You never did moved a single step.
I said before - you consciously don't want to close this chapter and made used of excuses like places you have been together, etc to reinforce your mindset in saying that you will never forget her.
You will never forget her, no doubt - but have you accepted your fate? Not really.
P.S: Only we ourselves have to power to release us from depressing relationship. Nobody can free you but yourself - I won't and can't do a thing.
Cheers -
Originally posted by Yunhaier:
Good point.... Yes you did tried, [b]but you wasn't willing. You mind simply tells you to move on logically, but you heart remains where it was. You never did moved a single step.
I said before - you consciously don't want to close this chapter and made used of excuses like places you have been together, etc to reinforce your mindset in saying that you will never forget her.
You will never forget her, no doubt - but have you accepted your fate? Not really.
P.S: Only we ourselves have to power to release us from depressing relationship. Nobody can free you but yourself - I won't and can't do a thing.
Cheers [/b] -
Originally posted by Yunhaier:
Only this post is worth a reply. Yes you did tried, but you wasn't willing. You mind simply tells you to move on logically, but you heart remains where it was. You never did moved a single step.
I said before - you consciously don't want to close this chapter and made used of excuses like places you have been together, etc to reinforce your mindset in saying that you will never forget her.
You will never forget her, no doubt - but have you accepted your fate? Not really.
P.S: Only we ourselves have to power to release us from depressing relationship. Nobody can free you but yourself - I won't and can't do a thing.
Cheers
Yes Master Yun. You've brust his bubble and laid your cards.
The only REASON for a person to continue their vicious cycle are EXCUSES. -
nowadays people prefer using the tough approach more than the soft approach?Originally posted by M©+square:Only this post is worth a reply.
Yes Master Yun. You've brust his bubble and laid your cards.
The only REASON for a person to continue their vicious cycle are EXCUSES.
hmmm, if you let someone bite the dust too early they might sneeze at you. -
It's always a virgin's nature to thread the unseen paths even though it has been walked by men of ages.Originally posted by Nelstar:nowadays people prefer using the tough approach more than the soft approach?
hmmm, if you let someone bite the dust too early they might sneeze at you.
Till they realise the destination...they'll gain wisdom(hopefully!)
Nice execution! *clap clap* -
sorry guys.. i was aways for a few days...Originally posted by Devil1976:It's not a vicious cycle... It's just what you believe it is...
And the more you hang on to that form of mentality, the unhealthier it would be....
i was very very busy..
don ask me wat.. i`m juz busy...
i called it a vicious cycle cuz it always makes me sad..
but i had enjoyed parts of the cycle too.. like times that we were simply close.. and nothing else in the world matters to me... -
Originally posted by Yunhaier:
i tink wat u said had made sense to my very perplexed brain condition now.. Yes you did tried, [b]but you wasn't willing. You mind simply tells you to move on logically, but you heart remains where it was. You never did moved a single step.
I said before - you consciously don't want to close this chapter and made used of excuses like places you have been together, etc to reinforce your mindset in saying that you will never forget her.
You will never forget her, no doubt - but have you accepted your fate? Not really.
P.S: Only we ourselves have to power to release us from depressing relationship. Nobody can free you but yourself - I won't and can't do a thing.
Cheers [/b]
i tried and i failed..
i didn`t want to close this chapter of my life.. i admit.. i couldn`t let go.. i juz cant.. i`m always makin excuses so that i can rem her...
but i`m feelin very terrible inside of me now....
may time dwell upon me and fade eveything to nought -
To edwinSSM:
i guess u r the one who understands me most..
probably cuz we`ve been thro similiar stages in our life..
rite now i`m feelin very lost...
i`m still holdin on to her b day present.. don even dare to call her..
don dare to face her..
i guess i`ve juz haf too move on w my life.. hopin that someday i`ll see the light in my life..
and so it ends... -
So sorry to everyone,
sometime the silence of the nite juz gets the part of me.
it`s been a month since her B day,
excatly a month.
yet her B day present`s still w me..
for the very 1st time in a long long time..
i finally gave her a call..
it happend during the Black out
she`s the 1st person that came to my mind.
i was worrying for her..
/me wonders when will i really give her up...
( now to my bed and collect my pink IC tmr ) -
yet again,
i`m home on another trip from my nite adventure..
yes i`m still tinking of her along the way..
term`s gonna start soon
and yes. her present`s still w me.
i tink i can keep it for now.
/me wonders how`s she now?
hopes she`s found some one better than me.
i give her my blessings -
exaclty the same feelingsOriginally posted by BaByBoY:yet again,
i`m home on another trip from my nite adventure..
yes i`m still tinking of her along the way..
term`s gonna start soon
and yes. her present`s still w me.
i tink i can keep it for now.
/me wonders how`s she now?
hopes she`s found some one better than me.
i give her my blessings
but a lot more sad and happy
i juz came to realised that she`ve actually got a bf already..
i mean i was very very very sad tonite
and yet while i was cycling alone juz now
i felt that i really need to give her my blessing
cuz at least she`s found happiness..
i do sincerly hope that her newfound bf will treat her really well
i believe he will
it breaks my heart to see someone i love in love w some other..
but it also warms my heart that she`s found love and happiness
something that i kow i cannot provide for her..
yet still, i`ve decided to wait for her
if one day she`s ever back.. i`ll stil acccept her for wat she is..
my eternal blessings to her
even when i cannot forget how she still glimmed in my dreams of her
goin out w her feels juz like yesterday
i know this is goin to come when i avoided her
it really came
and i pay dearly for my way..
yet i`ve no regrets
i`m sad and yet happy..
i juz dunno..... why did i fall in love in her in the 1st place
why haf i been made to meet her, yet unable to be w her..
my most sincere blessings to her.. -
Originally posted by BaByBoY:exaclty the same feelings
but a lot more sad and happy
i juz came to realised that she`ve actually got a bf already..
i mean i was very very very sad tonite
and yet while i was cycling alone juz now
i felt that i really need to give her my blessing
cuz at least she`s found happiness..
i do sincerly hope that her newfound bf will treat her really well
i believe he will
it breaks my heart to see someone i love in love w some other..
but it also warms my heart that she`s found love and happiness
something that i kow i cannot provide for her..
yet still, i`ve decided to wait for her
if one day she`s ever back.. i`ll stil acccept her for wat she is..
my eternal blessings to her
even when i cannot forget how she still glimmed in my dreams of her
goin out w her feels juz like yesterday
i know this is goin to come when i avoided her
it really came
and i pay dearly for my way..
yet i`ve no regrets
i`m sad and yet happy..
i juz dunno..... why did i fall in love in her in the 1st place
why haf i been made to meet her, yet unable to be w her..
my most sincere blessings to her.. -
u can laugh at me all u wanOriginally posted by Nelster:
i deserved it -
Nobody will laugh at u lar....kinda touchingOriginally posted by BaByBoY:u can laugh at me all u wan
i deserved it
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i guess she juz nv knew how i felt and i nv really knew how she feltOriginally posted by amuletgurl:Nobody will laugh at u lar....kinda touching
tears flow inside of me..
words are insufficient to express my sorrow
feelings became numb..
minds became lost
i`m juz living the days of the zombies again -
sorry to hear this. i know this sucks real real real bad...u love her that long...man..... well,its time to open up ur eyes n love someone who deserves u more ...U cannot love someone who dun love u back.... i do not dare to ask u to forget her,but hope u know theres someone else out there waiting to be "The One" for u..Originally posted by BaByBoY:i guess she juz nv knew how i felt and i nv really knew how she felt
tears flow inside of me..
words are insufficient to express my sorrow
feelings became numb..
minds became lost
i`m juz living the days of the zombies again