Losing the will to live on
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by the time you get married and have a family, you will understand that you dun have to anyhow spend money.. probably dun have the chance to too.. somehow the money will walk out of the wallet/bank account.Originally posted by paperchicken:If you anyhow spent money you will always be a slave of money.
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Yalor, now got lao zha bo also good. No colleague to talk to, so sian. That's why come here. Become extremely talkative whenever I meet colleague. Always like to invite them to a beer session to hear company gossip.Originally posted by paperchicken:No good lah no chio bu to see.
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Can tok cock and drink beer bio fireIce at the bar.Originally posted by Qitai:Yalor, now got lao zha bo also good. No colleague to talk to, so sian. That's why come here. Become extremely talkative whenever I meet colleague. Always like to invite them to a beer session to hear company gossip. -
Me like gossip with face one. No face gossip not so juicy.Originally posted by paperchicken:Can tok cock and drink beer bio fireIce at the bar. -
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Come on guys.. Just bec a person is schooling does not mean that the pressure on him is any less than that while earning a living!
What he needs is a listening ear and some constructive help. No point telling him to tok more cock or telling him the stress level will get worse when he is still stuck and in need of actual help!
Its the same as telling someone who is injured, instead of giving first aid, you tell him hey buddy cheer up leh bec the pain from the wound will only get worse but nevertheless cheer up bec though it hurts alot now... take heart that at least for now it is less painful than what you will experience later!
So lets be careful how we say things esp for AA. -
COOL...Originally posted by supercharger:Come on guys.. Just bec a person is schooling does not mean that the pressure on him is any less than that while earning a living!
What he needs is a listening ear and some constructive help. No point telling him to tok more cock or telling him the stress level will get worse when he is still stuck and in need of actual help!
Its the same as telling someone who is injured, instead of giving first aid, you tell him hey buddy cheer up leh bec the pain from the wound will only get worse but nevertheless cheer up bec though it hurts alot now... take heart that at least for now it is less painful than what you will experience later!
So lets be careful how we say things esp for AA.
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oh please ah dont hijack people's thread and start talking cock... not here not this thread!!! not AA!
Plenty of other places to talk about work pressure and all the girls you want but not here.
Sorry if I come across as being harsh or something. definately not trying to act like Mod or anything... its just that when you have someone pouring his/her heart out... you really want to be there to support and carry and not to clown around.
its not me trying to be anything but just be sensitive. -
1st thing's 1st... All work and no life is equals to NO LIFE... SOON you can easily be without much of a meaning to life and easily lose your will to stay alive...Originally posted by egotist:Sigh...
I'm currently a poly student, aged 18, already in the 1st semester of my third year.
Feeling hellishly stressed up this semester, cos I've took 1 elective and 1 personal development subject more than the rest of the people. Also, I'm group leader to 2 project groups out of 3. Finally, I'm doing my Final Year Project this semester.
It appears that quite a number of ppl have almost completed their FYP project. We are now left wif abt 2 weeks but my group haven't half completed it yet. Somemore, i'm pretty much depended upon for e other 2 groups tt i'm leading.
Now i couldn't concentrate at all, cos' there's too many things at hand. Since i'm doing programming, there's a number of issues that i've no idea how to work on it, but i've no 1 whom i can approach for help.
Already for 6 years till now, I've been a typical "good" boy, going home right after school. And, i'm e only child. Perhaps tt's e main reason for my very small social circle. So tt means tt i've no source to vent my feelings but here (when i discovered SGForums only abt 2-3 mths ago).
Since i'm been pretty stressed most of the time when i'm working on assignments, and pretty alone when i'm nt, i'm feeling a pressure surmounting on me. I'm feeling like i can't take it anymore. Only a few years ago when i've decided to read up some books on psychology, I've diagnosed myself to be suffering frm depression at the same time. But then again, i'm a guy and i'm suppose to bear everything.
Any solutions to tis deadlock? If not, guess the best way to help mi for now is to help mi for 1 of my projects. Nid some urgent surveys. Read tis thread anyway: http://www.sgforums.com/?action=thread_display&thread_id=91593
Sorry for the convenient cross-linking. Juz trying to kill 2 birds wif 1 stone.
Work is important. So is living. Living. Ain't that what you're WORKING for
NEXT... Note the HIGHLIGHTED... It's kinda like a BAD HABIT to just read up books and 'diagnose' yourself... I believe you're far from being a medical professional... Even a professional should avoid 'diagnosing' oneself based on a few traits of clinical symtoms.. And psychology can really be much more complicated than you think it is... Moreover.. 'Depression' can be quite a vague disease to be labelled by the method you've just used... Not a smart move...
And please... There's no such thing as "I'm a guy and suppose to bear everything..." Just as you've mentioned.. You're a GUY... NOT a SUPERMAN... NOT a SPIDERMAN... Not ANY SUPER HERO... Even super heros get into troubles during their various episodes and from time to time would require a little help or two from those around them... REMEMBER... You're JUST a GUY....
Below is my personal advices for you...
1. As stated above. Get a 'life' along with your works. You can join us for outings if you like..? And REMEMBER. Pls don't give yourself EXCUSES like 'no time'... It's YOUR LIFE... PLAN it... Not RUIN it...
2. Try to practise a better management system.
3. Try to take things (failures?) easier... If you REALLY can't manage it.. May it be that you flunk your subject or whatever.. Can always START AFRESH...
GOOD LUCK... -
Orr... sorry....
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I tink things ain't as simple as dropping a few subjects or taking a deep breathe. Like i said... Incredibly small social circle. It's kinda weird tt i've a colorful personality when i'm wired up, but 1 dumbo boring, grumbling, squeaky, oversensitive, snoobish guy when i'm back in reality.
Dun be stress. You see paperchicken so happy everyday one. You are welcome to drop by Paper Art House any time to drink coffee.
Dun tink u really want mi there. In a fit of anger, i might juz burn e whole paper house down! LoL! Come to tink of tt, paperchicken is e only chicken tt doesn't get roasted when burnt!
Do your best. Accept whatever the result maybe. High expectation is one of the main causes of depression. Concentrate on the work rather than worrying about the result.
If u want a piece of REAL feelings of isolation, try living thru mine. No 1 to ask abt projects and homeworks when u nid help. U will naturally work harder. But wif days and mths and... years like my cases, it's sooner or later tt ur eventually juz wanna collapse and dun wanna see e next morning again. It's like, no matter how hard u work, others can achieve wad u achieve by means of studying together, or playing wif classroom/lecturer-student politics or by sheer intelligence to achieve wad u've done overnight.Delegate the work to other members, make sure each do something eg one do tabulation of survey results, 1 do written report, 1 do research etc.
Scary part is tt after u've delegated e work, u find tt u have no idea how to work on yrs. I do chase my projectmates. Less understanding ones are finding mi a nuiscense already. I've no idea how to motivate myself, much less to motivate them.
U co-ordinate & put it together. Chase yr members & remind them to do their part. The trick is to get people to work for u. Motivate/ praise them.
School better. So many available Zha Bo around. Work place only got Lao Zha Bo, so sian.
Come to speak of tt, guess it gonna chain to another of my issue. I'm nt even half-interested in gals. Seriously, try getting Britney Spears or Jolin to strip and i'll prolly juz yawn away at 1 corner, nt even half-aroused. Even alcohol interest mi more than gals. Crap! i tink ppl gonna see mi as some1 who dropped his screw down the Niagra Fall.1st thing's 1st... All work and no life is equals to NO LIFE... SOON you can easily be without much of a meaning to life and easily lose your will to stay alive...
Problem is, i can't find tt "life" anywhere. When ur alone, even gaming gunbound or WC3 or wadever can oso b ineffective at keeping mi happy. They are juz imaginary world to keep mi insensitive to reality while i sit in front of the screen. After e PC is shut-down, the cold dark world is back haunting every mins and seconds like a pesticide. Wadever fun u had earlier on drifted away frm u. It's juz like an escape. -
hiya, hiya..schooling is oni 1 type of stress, jus plan ur time well, then u wil able to complete everythg on time..sometimes having some stress is gd..but if u feel tired..relax ur self n continue !!! i hav been thru all these b4, the worst one is taking my msc in uk, no time for othe stuffs, everyday needs to do reports, wat to do, jus barte wif it, when u get ur cert, then u wil feel all ur efforts paid off
, u r stil young, many thgs yet to come...this is part of life, unless u wan to drop out..hope this wil help -
I tink things ain't as simple as dropping a few subjects or taking a deep breathe. Like i said... Incredibly small social circle. It's kinda weird tt i've a colorful personality when i'm wired up, but 1 dumbo boring, grumbling, squeaky, oversensitive, snoobish guy when i'm back in reality.
natural, people can freely express themselves through internet. i am more open over internet either.If u want a piece of REAL feelings of isolation, try living thru mine. No 1 to ask abt projects and homeworks when u nid help. U will naturally work harder. But wif days and mths and... years like my cases, it's sooner or later tt ur eventually juz wanna collapse and dun wanna see e next morning again. It's like, no matter how hard u work, others can achieve wad u achieve by means of studying together, or playing wif classroom/lecturer-student politics or by sheer intelligence to achieve wad u've done overnight.
been through it, after i failed my o lvls (i even got F9 for math), i went through an entire year of depression and desperation. back then, i had no one to help me, even my parents seem to be screwing me, no motivation from anyone at all, it feels like everyone is there to screw me up. when i needed help on how to do math or wadever, i had to rely on myself, try to read, if not, try again and again and again and again and again.. show on, until i somehow get the drift. i didn't noe anything about math back then, i had to learn what ppl learnt during 5 years within 1 year. (basically i stopped studying since primary 3)
i had no tuition, and i was refused entry back to my secondary school, cuz one of the teachers hated me. (to think i scored the highest for her subject in class) so it feels like i was being kicked out instead of graduating, so if anyone ask me today, ill say i was kicked out. i was 100% alone, isolated and ignored. i really hated my school for driving me to desperation.
most of my "frens", even if they failed, they either went to ITE or a couple of em back to school successfully. in ite, they got company (bt they oso slacked and got screwed in the end), but i went to take a private dip instead, becuz of dat i was almost kicked to NS since to complications. so i had a great deal of stress before even clearing my deferment.
due to my attitude, i didn't make any frens there so i studied O lvls and took a diploma alone. studied by myself, eat by myself, listen to class by myself, everyday, and had to juggle between 2 priorities - o lvls and diploma. back then, noone believed i could handle so much things at one go. in fact, our form teacher tried his best to convince us not to go retake o lvls, juz go to ite and be done with it, cuz we'll just fail again. (im very stubborn)
den im the type dun ask questions de, so even for my new course, im pretty much alone when exams r near. i dun even got classmates there lo, to bug u or anything. there is completely noone, whatsoever, if i fail, dats the end for me. so its like, i chose this path all by myself, walked through it all by myself, and only myself. i was the only one i noe dat was crazy enough to attempt studying 2 things together, i was retaking entire o lvls too.
bt i survived, i believe ive been in worst situation den u, a deeper sense of isolation den u can ever imagine, and the story goes back to my childhood. even now, i dun eat dinner with my parents, so much for only child, being isolated by yr own parents, tell me how would u feel? i ate by myself since dunnoe how many years ago liao, dun remember having a single meal with my parents even though we live together.
bt i also believe there are cases worst than me, its natural.
so u can make it, im sure of it, nowadays, the probs i kana in school r like peanuts. those class politics, those project team managements and crap. i also noe how to handle them with ease.Scary part is tt after u've delegated e work, u find tt u have no idea how to work on yrs. I do chase my projectmates. Less understanding ones are finding mi a nuiscense already. I've no idea how to motivate myself, much less to motivate them.
Best is use other ppl to motivate them, or pressurize them. You see, one thing I learnt is dat we cannot handle everything ourselves, there are things we cannot handle thus need other ppl's help. -
dude... u dun call this stress...
u have so many more years to go.
everyone has their tough times, and if others can get thru their worst times, y can't u. -
true, if really want to compare there are so many ppl dat went through worst times den any one of us. and they made it. i made it, n i believe there will be worst to come.Originally posted by Faye Valentine:dude... u dun call this stress...
u have so many more years to go.
everyone has their tough times, and if others can get thru their worst times, y can't u. -
Hmmm if u had once down with those fatal illness or nearly faces death, u will feel tat all those things u stated in ur topic r nothing.
I have nearly experience death n now i am very optimistic with things in life. -
bt it is often to these small things dat ppl ignore dat adds up to severe depression and suicidal inclination.Originally posted by Ogbunwezeh:Hmmm if u had once down with those fatal illness or nearly faces death, u will feel tat all those things u stated in ur topic r nothing.
I have nearly experience death n now i am very optimistic with things in life.
by then, it may be too late liao, so oso cannot ignore. -
yeah also some ppl easily depressed... Feel very pessimistic n look at things very pessimistic.Originally posted by Ito_^:bt it is often to these small things dat ppl ignore dat adds up to severe depression and suicidal inclination.
by then, it may be too late liao, so oso cannot ignore. -
RITE... Then QUIT COMPLAINING and DO SOMETHING ABOUT IT...Originally posted by egotist:Problem is, i can't find tt "life" anywhere. When ur alone, even gaming gunbound or WC3 or wadever can oso b ineffective at keeping mi happy. They are juz imaginary world to keep mi insensitive to reality while i sit in front of the screen. After e PC is shut-down, the cold dark world is back haunting every mins and seconds like a pesticide. Wadever fun u had earlier on drifted away frm u. It's juz like an escape.
EXPAND YOUR SOCIAL CIRCLE... EXPAND YOUR INTEREST... Like you've described yourself... It's not that you don't 'connect' with people.. You DO... So just MAKE IT HAPPEN... -
BINGO...Originally posted by Ito_^:bt it is often to these small things dat ppl ignore dat adds up to severe depression and suicidal inclination.
by then, it may be too late liao, so oso cannot ignore. -
i thought of writing a book. very stressed because i quit my job and decided to write full time. my friends thought i was bloody stupid. that was 6 months ago.
i finished a big part of the book. during that time, i was depressed like you, suicidal and didnt have much of a life while i wrote it. i kept asking myself if i screwed up my perfectly good job.
that changed when i met a group of aspiring writers. they feel the same. we talked, exchanged ideas and made friends. i am inspired and understood.
LIFE - you cannot change reality. you can only change your perspective. there is no other way.
STRESS - you can manage. talk to people who know and shares your feelings. you are never alone with your problems. we all experience the same feelings, only in a different context.
BELIEVE - that some things will pass and when everything is over, you will emerge ... successful and strong. where some things are concerned, you will never have the answer at that point in time. you need to be patient. this is character building
DONT LET LIFE CONTROL YOU; YOU GO CONTROL LIFE. -
bt i survived, i believe ive been in worst situation den u, a deeper sense of isolation den u can ever imagine, and the story goes back to my childhood. even now, i dun eat dinner with my parents, so much for only child, being isolated by yr own parents, tell me how would u feel? i ate by myself since dunnoe how many years ago liao, dun remember having a single meal with my parents even though we live together.
I'm an only child too. Though my parents neither ignore mi, nor huggles mi, but they do more or less try to provide mi wif everyday necessities to keep mi comfy to some extends. Fortunate for them, i'm a thrify person by nature, who's heart aches when i see them paying money for some things tt i dun really take to heart at all. My family ain't rich, and the earnings are rather average. I digressed...
Anyway, i still prefer to eat alone most of e time anyway. It doesn't matter who i'm eating wif, when in my mind i'm still processing wad to be done next for my projects. Really no rest of mind.bt i also believe there are cases worst than me, its natural.
I dun deny even worst cases than mi. But then, no 1 wanna compare himself wif some1 worst. Problem is tt, if it affects everyday life, it's bad. As the old proverb say:"No man is an island". It's really sheer lifeforce tt is keeping mi alive rite now to do all these ranting. Not tt i've never tried suicide b4. In fact, 6 times drinking detergent already. Ended giving it up cos' after all suicide hurts. Best is to tired yrself out and died while sleeping 1 day. If it's juz some richie rich who can't get to buy tis or that and feels like hell, he/she is juz a spoil brat.Best is use other ppl to motivate them, or pressurize them. You see, one thing I learnt is dat we cannot handle everything ourselves, there are things we cannot handle thus need other ppl's help.
I've done tis a couple of time b4 already, only if necessary. Approaching the lecturers is always e way. But it's e last resort, and it will strain the relationship wif every1 else.Hmmm if u had once down with those fatal illness or nearly faces death, u will feel tat all those things u stated in ur topic r nothing.
There is nuthin to fear abt death, except the process of death. If u died by gradually losing consciousness and ur nt suffocating or injuried, it's kinda pleasant. i've been down wif malaria once and was almost hospitalized. I also experienced Out-Of-Body when i was a child, and i regret walking back into tis body.
I have nearly experience death n now i am very optimistic with things in life.RITE... Then QUIT COMPLAINING and DO SOMETHING ABOUT IT...
Hate the idea of following other ppl's trend and thots. Some of them are costly. Others are fleeting. Pretty nice example is collecting game cards. Now they dun anymore, and those $$ invested are wasted, when i saved those $$ by scrimping frm lunches. Soccer & basketball is nvr my interest, though it's most guys fav. I go for WuShu, literacy pursuit and music. Weirdo? Yup...
EXPAND YOUR SOCIAL CIRCLE... EXPAND YOUR INTEREST... Like you've described yourself... It's not that you don't 'connect' with people.. You DO... So just MAKE IT HAPPEN...STRESS - you can manage. talk to people who know and shares your feelings. you are never alone with your problems. we all experience the same feelings, only in a different context.
U noe... tis is my last place to rant. Most ppl whom i noe and whom i trust are already tired of hearing all these rantings. Strangely, they come frm well-off family who has decent size of social circle, and doesn't have any other problems besides the age-old BGR problem. I'm lucky/unlucky tt i'll never get to encounter such problem.
I haven't found any1 emphatic of my situation beyond tis computer screen and forum. Most ppl had only mock at my inexperience of life. But is tt so? I dunno. i'm more than willing to get to know any1 in person going thru e same or worse situation than mi. Juz mail mi will do. But be warned. I've said earlier tt i might appear quite different in reality. -
You need a beer and time off. I just completed hell week (School Industrial Attachment Programme) and it was a good 10 week trial of hell v1.0 with a ton of nonsense which happened to drop by during the 10 weeks. Just remember dude. No matter how tough it gets, there's a time to stop.
- zef -
i agree...
my have lost hope in life too.
attempted suicide but realise that its not worth it. try to think about erik who is four years old and has aids. did he deserve it? -
thanks for sharing some of the most heartfelt moments.. chipping in my part in reurn too.. i've been thru those horrendously rough patches when even breathing was difficult esp. when u choked on your tears, mucus & detergent, eyes swollen & blurred and the head just couldn't stop spinning. What was vivid at that seeming God-forsaken moment for me was when I heard my parents calling my nickname as I saw my young 8-year-old self playing with my favourite toy organ again before I passed out... Now, awoken & conscious, life is still, & really worth living...