Cheated on BF with his good friend last night...
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already told her to put to the boyfriend lo.Originally posted by AndrewPKYap:people want to "get it over and done with" but how? as for W, he is human after all bah... just like TS is human after all...
Just don't do it again because it is so painful but if she does not solve the underlying issues... all bets off...
Being human dosent give u the green light to be alone with the someone who trusts you and take advantage of it. -
sexless marriage is possible if both parties have such mindset (of not having intimacy) in the first place, not because of giving up hope on sex due to one party being unable to performOriginally posted by eagle:it is possible for sexless marriages too
http://www.ananova.com/news/story/sm_102698.html?nav_src=newsIndexHeadline
But let's not digress for the sake of TS
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seriously here...some of my female friends have cheated on their bfs. AND THEIR REASON IS ALL THE SAME. "Never bring me go out, never sent me home, all he does is just work, come home play his games/watch soccer, everytime go his house accompany him, sick of it"
Those girls need a freaking slap to wake them up. Don't tell me when your bf was wooing you, he didn't wait for you, send you home, pay for everything and stuff?
Some girls just itchy backside, like the feeling of being wooed all over again. Girls, don't say you want a stable relationship. Cuz stable=mundane. Does any one of parents here go dating? Movies? How many of parents hold hands when their out? Yet do you see them having affairs? Okay maybe some do, but that's a diff story. The main point is, that's what a real stable r/s is about.
At the rate of this kind of thing happening, does that mean i have to worry about my gf cheating on me? After all i spent most of my free time at home playing my xbox, rarely go town with her, and she comes over to accompany me on her own accord.
To TS, yeah your bf plays his games all the time. At least it's better than he goes out and gets up to no good. -
No, not green light. Just that sometimes things happen... and when it happens how you handle it is important.Originally posted by Pitot:already told her to put to the boyfriend lo.
Being human dosent give u the green light to be alone with the someone who trusts you and take advantage of it.
There is no need to break off relationships just because two people made a mistake.
It is better to say, "now you know that you and W can get carried away, don't go to quiet places alone."
It is not helpful to condemn each other.
It is not like she is having an affair, meaning the two of them are seeing each other regularly for intimacy...
It is just a one off thing and so she should just move on, and put it aside, and try to solve her fundamental problems... -
If it is what the TS put it to be, i have no doubt that she should move on.Originally posted by AndrewPKYap:No, not green light. Just that sometimes things happen... and when it happens how you handle it is important.
There is no need to break off relationships just because two people made a mistake.
It is better to say, "now you know that you and W can get carried away, don't go to quiet places alone."
It is not helpful to condemn each other.
It is not like she is having an affair, meaning the two of them are seeing each other regularly for intimacy...
It is just a one off thing and so she should just move on, and put it aside, and try to solve her fundamental problems...
But i would still doubt W though. maybe its just me but any guy who has thoughts abt his close griend's GF, prolly isnt worth to keep in contact with. -
u have to do your favourite activities alone and u get lousy sex from him (if he cares about u enough, there're definitely ways to get past 3 mins, not to mention 30secs), seriously how can this relationship last?Originally posted by guilt-stricken:[i]About Us:
- Im 25, bf 23... together 2 and half yrs. He doesn't like to do things with me (shopping, beach, pubs), and we only do things he does (TV, PC games, PS2). I got fed up coz while i'm willing to play games with him, whats wrong with going places i like to go with me?
To top that off, he comes in 30 secs in bed, that now i go zzzz in my head during foreplay coz i know there's nothing to look forward to... -
i dont think cheating is right butOriginally posted by Hellraiza:. Does any one of parents here go dating? Movies? How many of parents hold hands when their out? Yet do you see them having affairs? Okay maybe some do, but that's a diff story. The main point is, that's what a real stable r/s is about.
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I disagree that a stable relationship means it has to be boring. effort need to be put in by BOTH parties to make a relationship meaningful.
just doing what one party wants all the time does not make it a healthy balanced relationship. A relationship where one party does not have a sense of SELF will not be an complete and fulfilling one. It is a lopsided crippled relationship.
There is a difference between mundanity and boring. We can't escape from the mundane details of life - but I think if there is always a nagging doubt whether your partner truly loves you or vice versa, whether quarreling or hanging out clothes - it is time for introspection and discussion.
LIfe is short. Why waste time on unfulfilling rships? -
who is this forumite??
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W and her are just friends and if she does not go to quiet places with him, I doubt the same thing will happen again. So what do you mean by "still doubt W"? Isn't "not going to quiet places with him" already "doubt"?Originally posted by Pitot:If it is what the TS put it to be, i have no doubt that she should move on.
But i would still doubt W though. maybe its just me but any guy who has thoughts abt his close griend's GF, prolly isnt worth to keep in contact with.
"not going to quiet places with him" is specific "doubt" but what does a general "doubt W" mean?
Break off all relationships with him? Be cold towards him? Don't ever go out with him? No nid to go so far bah.... -
I only believe in the black and white box of wrong and right.
In scenarios like this,tell him what u did and break off.
When one does somethin wrong,they should admit no matter the damage to be incured.
This very fundemental basic of human morals should have been taught when one was young unless your telling me your parents suk at doing a simple job. -
what is someone who does this to his friend's gf.Originally posted by AndrewPKYap:W and her are just friends and if she does not go to quiet places with him, I doubt the same thing will happen again. So what do you mean by "still doubt W"? Isn't "not going to quiet places with him" already "doubt"?
"not going to quiet places with him" is specific "doubt" but what does a general "doubt W" mean?
Break off all relationships with him? Be cold towards him? Don't ever go out with him? No nid to go so far bah....
i dont think it was just a moments folly to me. anyway, we are getting sidetracked from the topic.
let this end here. -
u did the right thing not to cross the boundary. but one grave mistake u made was...Originally posted by guilt-stricken:Hey guys,
I created a new acct to write this coz i dun wanna to use my main acct for my confession
Long story cut short:
About Us:
- Im 25, bf 23... together 2 and half yrs. He doesn't like to do things with me (shopping, beach, pubs), and we only do things he does (TV, PC games, PS2). I got fed up coz while i'm willing to play games with him, whats wrong with going places i like to go with me?
To top that off, he comes in 30 secs in bed, that now i go zzzz in my head during foreplay coz i know there's nothing to look forward to...
The senario:
My Bf has been away for a month now for work and one of his close friends, "W" just got hurt badly by his gf (now ex). I am pretty ok with W and we just kept each other company as friends at first, coz all our friends are either attached like super glue or married with kids...
Then last night, i let him fondle my bre*sts and pusssy, but he didn't put his finger in... We didn't kiss, neither did i touch him... It happened like it was 2 lonely souls doing something they know they shouldn't.
For me, i was longing to have great sex again before i forget how sex feels like, but i am glad it didn't happen. We stopped right there and he just gave me a peck on my forehead. It was like a silent," yeah, we shouldn't". But still, intercourse or not, this is still cheating...
And now:
I'm here all by myself with this dark secret and i hate myself so much. No matter how boring my bf is or how selfish he was not to mind what i like to do, i still shouldn't have allowed another man to touch me, not even holding my hands, let alone personal parts...
I am so guilty and i smsed W how i feel and this is the worst thing i have done to anyone behind their backs...
I tried to push blame to my bf, telling myself that he's partly responsible for all these to happen.... but no matter how i push, i still feel that i have no excuse at all... I feel cheap and sick... I feel like W and I deserve stones thrown at us.
Yes, i will still feel sexually deprived by my bf's 30 secs skills, but NO, i will not try to be funny like this again... I always pictured myself to cheat on him sooner or later coz i was feeling unsatisfied...
But now that i had really sort of done it, the only feeling is have is guilt, so strong that it makes me feel sick inside out... And it doesn't make me happy at all, i destroyed a friendship i had with W and feel like the worst girlfriend in the world...
And ironically, right now, all i can think of is my bf getting food for me when i'm hungry, pick me up and send me to places, hugging me tenderly to sleep...
All i can say is," Cheating is nothing fun, that's if you have a conscience. It just eats you up."
u smsed W "how u feel and this is the worst thing u have done to anyone behind their backs..."
if W is a gentleman, he will move on n delete those msg, forget those incident. but what happen if he became sore n use the msg u sent to him to threaten u to show ur bf just to have another 'fun nite' wif u?
i afraid this kinda huff-huff r/s might not have a full-stop yet.
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1] Just don't brood over it....no point....throw the past behind you....
2] Find a chance to talk/communicate with that selfish bf of yours...if he still doesn't wanna change his ways n remains as of now....it's as good as being alone... -
After reading your side of the story I just wish to ask some simple questions.Originally posted by guilt-stricken:Thanks Andrew...
Honestly, when i wrote in here, i expected lots of flaming and i'm prepared to get screamed at by many... i didn't expect to receive so much forgiveness... i actually wrote in to get scolded coz i know i deserve it...
Really thanks so much...
I had an urge to confess to him and maybe it might show a red light sign to him that something is seriously wrong with us... But come to think of it, all that he's done is just not liking to go out and not being able to last in bed is obviously not what he wants either...
So our problems is like no one's fault, just character clash... but having affair is no need argue one, sure wrong.... Deep inside i know that no matter how he makes me unhappy, no one deserves to be cheated on...
Now, the thing is, can i forsake all those things i desire to accept him as who he is... without having the resentment and thinking," Why can't he accept my need for romance and a date?" If i keep on thinking this way, i'll always, and i mean ALWAYS, be unsatisfied.
1) Are you willing to break up with your bf ?
2) Why not?
3) Are both of you working or studying?
4) If sex is the main problem. are you willing to go on with your bf knowing that he will not give you good sex and stay faithful to him?
If you know that you cannot have good sex with him in the future and u know you cannot keep the ugre to have better sex elsewhere why keep bluffing yourself that is better to stay with this guy?
I have cases where the guy keep us virgin self for the gal he loves for 10 years, he wants sex with his gf and she refuse to give him, he respected her for it. In the end he tries to ask her hand and she refused. He really got tired of waiting and decided to end it. Now he is happily married to another gal and his wife is expecting his child.
The ex regrets her action but is too late.
My advice for you is to know what you want in life. If sex is important then let go, there is no such thing as hiding the urge and is just like a time bomb waiting for the next monent to blow. -
This is should at Chit Chat or AA.
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Agreed with Zeny...Originally posted by zeny:After reading your side of the story I just wish to ask some simple questions.
1) Are you willing to break up with your bf ?
2) Why not?
3) Are both of you working or studying?
4) If sex is the main problem. are you willing to go on with your bf knowing that he will not give you good sex and stay faithful to him?
Actually, in fact, many people suffer the same fate as u... It is just that few voice it out ... lol
But, u really have to consider what zeny states... Can u really tahan him for the next few years or next few decades??? The faster u break up, the less pain it will inflict on both of u... -
break up plz.
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Instead of asking her to break up so fast.Originally posted by missqi:break up plz.
Let her decide what she wants in life.
Facts have already been stated is up to her to do her next move. -
u not clone of a clone right?Originally posted by guilt-stricken:Hey guys,
I created a new acct to write this coz i dun wanna to use my main acct for my confession
Long story cut short:
About Us:
- Im 25, bf 23... together 2 and half yrs. He doesn't like to do things with me (shopping, beach, pubs), and we only do things he does (TV, PC games, PS2). I got fed up coz while i'm willing to play games with him, whats wrong with going places i like to go with me?
To top that off, he comes in 30 secs in bed, that now i go zzzz in my head during foreplay coz i know there's nothing to look forward to...
The senario:
My Bf has been away for a month now for work and one of his close friends, "W" just got hurt badly by his gf (now ex). I am pretty ok with W and we just kept each other company as friends at first, coz all our friends are either attached like super glue or married with kids...
Then last night, i let him fondle my bre*sts and pusssy, but he didn't put his finger in... We didn't kiss, neither did i touch him... It happened like it was 2 lonely souls doing something they know they shouldn't.
For me, i was longing to have great sex again before i forget how sex feels like, but i am glad it didn't happen. We stopped right there and he just gave me a peck on my forehead. It was like a silent," yeah, we shouldn't". But still, intercourse or not, this is still cheating...
And now:
I'm here all by myself with this dark secret and i hate myself so much. No matter how boring my bf is or how selfish he was not to mind what i like to do, i still shouldn't have allowed another man to touch me, not even holding my hands, let alone personal parts...
I am so guilty and i smsed W how i feel and this is the worst thing i have done to anyone behind their backs...
I tried to push blame to my bf, telling myself that he's partly responsible for all these to happen.... but no matter how i push, i still feel that i have no excuse at all... I feel cheap and sick... I feel like W and I deserve stones thrown at us.
Yes, i will still feel sexually deprived by my bf's 30 secs skills, but NO, i will not try to be funny like this again... I always pictured myself to cheat on him sooner or later coz i was feeling unsatisfied...
But now that i had really sort of done it, the only feeling is have is guilt, so strong that it makes me feel sick inside out... And it doesn't make me happy at all, i destroyed a friendship i had with W and feel like the worst girlfriend in the world...
And ironically, right now, all i can think of is my bf getting food for me when i'm hungry, pick me up and send me to places, hugging me tenderly to sleep...
All i can say is," Cheating is nothing fun, that's if you have a conscience. It just eats you up." -
Dont do it again.
Humans are all senstitive and selfish.
Sensitive - incase he do not like you to look or praise other males infront or behind him . You also dont like him to look at other girls or prasie other gals infront or behind him.....
Selffish - incase anyone who got hold of anything , sian lar when lose it then panic then scold yourself lor .... A lot of movie tell you one thing appreciate and treasure things besides you.
Ir anyone learns to respect this two rules PEACE PEACE EVERYWHERE and everyone will have their own SHEN TIAO XIA LUE - In his eyes you will be LONG-ER In her eyes you will be GUO-ER -
30s? i think there's something wrong.
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its nothing wrong coming at 30sec on the 1st. But the 2nd, 3rd 4th time will be better. Try to keep both you and ur partner in the mood throughout.
Get some toy for him to play on u. I am sure u will come. -
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Hi all,
Hmmm... to reply to all the responses, here are my innermost thoughts...
First, i can't leave him coz deep down i know i i love him... especially after what that had happened... If i didn't love him, i would have gotten away guilt-free...
As for whether i can accept him for who he really is, i.e: Not bringing me on a date and coming in less than a min... My answer is, i'm trying... It's not easy, you would know only if you had been in my shoes... And it really isn't easy to decide whether to break off with someone you can't live with, and at the same time couldn't live without...
I'm still learning... as for whether i could succeed, i can only update you perhaps some time later?
If you were me, in my shoes, and really understanding and feeling what i'm going through now, what would you do? Would it really be that easy like some say," Just break it off?" Could you? -
You are fustrated, you are tired, for what he has done and what he has not done. I guess many would agree that communication is important in a relationship. I am wondering if it would be better for you and him to sit down and talk over some of these things that are bothering you a lot (exclude the first post part). Perhaps both of you would be able to come out with a compromise.Originally posted by guilt-stricken:Hi all,
Hmmm... to reply to all the responses, here are my innermost thoughts...
First, i can't leave him coz deep down i know i i love him... especially after what that had happened... If i didn't love him, i would have gotten away guilt-free...
As for whether i can accept him for who he really is, i.e: Not bringing me on a date and coming in less than a min... My answer is, i'm trying... It's not easy, you would know only if you had been in my shoes... And it really isn't easy to decide whether to break off with someone you can't live with, and at the same time couldn't live without...
I'm still learning... as for whether i could succeed, i can only update you perhaps some time later?
If you were me, in my shoes, and really understanding and feeling what i'm going through now, what would you do? Would it really be that easy like some say," Just break it off?" Could you?
Waiting for Andrew's views...