Cheated on BF with his good friend last night...
-
Now i wish i could 'system restore' to last saturday and didn't succumbed...Originally posted by eagle:sometimes i wish my gf is a bit more like u, excluding the *** part -
It's a pity in life, we don't have a ctrl+Z button... One step wrong and nothing can bring it back...Originally posted by guilt-stricken:Now i wish i could 'system restore' to last saturday and didn't succumbed... -
with that button. everything will be perfect.Originally posted by eagle:It's a pity in life, we don't have a ctrl+Z button... One step wrong and nothing can bring it back... -
Thats quite long.Originally posted by guilt-stricken:Almost 3 years le... -
Do you really think that if you system restore, then life would be better? It might be worse. You might end up with someone else other than W and actually have intercourse. Now you know how difficult it is to cheat.Originally posted by guilt-stricken:Now i wish i could 'system restore' to last saturday and didn't succumbed...
You might have cheated with someone other than W and he insists in telling your bf hoping that you will end up with him.
Just be thankful that it happened with W and it happened this way.
What you know NOW is so much better knowing that you will find it "difficult" and "sorrowful" if you cheat.
Forget/ be thankful for the incident and just move on with life and try to solve your underlying problems ... -
I think you should stop feeling sorry for yourself and concentrate on living in the present or the future.Sure, this little action of yours may eat you alive from the inside but that depends how much attention and energy you are willing to spend on it.
Also, stop letting your bf treat you like carpet. Your problem is you invest too much without much return. Voice your concerns with him, and if he dosent do anything, just dump him. Actions speaks louder than words. Then if he changes, you can go back to him
-
...........
-
...............Originally posted by AndrewPKYap:........... -
.............................Originally posted by eagle:............... -
wei! Stop it ah!
-
Originally posted by AndrewPKYap:wei! Stop it ah!
-
still dare to laugh?Originally posted by seotiblizzard: -
not me not me... I never laugh...
-
Originally posted by AndrewPKYap:still dare to laugh?
-
still dare to protest?Originally posted by eagle:not me not me... I never laugh... -
still dare to cry?Originally posted by seotiblizzard: -
.....
..........
................ -
Originally posted by AndrewPKYap:still dare to cry?
-
Hmm,very unlikely for someone so insignificant to cause me any anguish.Originally posted by guilt-stricken:Hi guys...
I'd really like to thank all of you who had come close to my heart and understood my emotions and struggles... I really appreciate it a lot, and given that we are strangers and we don't even know each other in real life, i'm really thankful for all the support, (not in what i do, but in my broken emotions...)
For those who believed i am really sorry, i thank you for feeling my innermost remorse, and for that someone who doesn't, i'm sorry that i caused so much anger in you for 4 days of your precious time..
I received comfort from all who forgave me, advised me and defended me... and most of all, believed that i'm truly remorseful...
After all, i didn't start this thread to make enemies, i just needed to let it out... I might keep this secret forever, or i might collapse and confess, i don't know...
But i just want to say a really big thank you to all.. Coz no matter what you posted, in CAPS or no caps, you were there for me, typing on your computer screen when i was all alone with a dark secret in my room...
Your presence, whether constructive or destructive is greatly appreciated... Truly....
-
Originally posted by guilt-stricken:
No need for 10 years.
[b]Boka,
All along, i never thought you were wrong at all, the only thing that bothered me was your attitude... Noticed that i didn't say anything when people posted s.lut or biatch? I know my deed is shameful, and those are the right words to use, but it's a matter of attitude...
You didn't really care to understand how i felt at all and you just began to attack me with full force... and you started using caps and questioning my upbringing when i didn't even say anything to rebuke you in the first place...
For your info, my parents are nice people who taught me the correct values, it was me who failed to be someone more upright, and not that my parents failing to guide me... I love my parents and i reallly hate it when you said that twice...
All men are fallible and everyone would have moments when they have fears in admitting their mistakes due to consequences, But nevertheless, if you could be someone with all the values that you mentioned, i will be very proud of you, and you might just be that special one in God's eyes... You will receive lots of blessings from Him...
Lastly, as much as you are mad over our posts now, 10 years down the road, when you look back, you might understand what we are trying to get across to you...
Til then, don't get so worked up anymore...
I'm only human...
Peace mate
[/b]
I have already knew what your actions was trying to speak for but by my beliefs,i cannot accept such actions. -
You better stop it ar!Originally posted by seotiblizzard: -
Originally posted by guilt-stricken:
Although trust, once broken, is never the same again, it is possible to bring it to a high level that doesn't exist before it's broken.
I thought of this too, like come up with a story then finally ask him," What if i did this to you?"
Actually i know he won't leave me, just like if he did that to me, i won't leave him... despite the character clash, i know there's love...
But the issue is trust.
Trust, as you know, will never be whole again once it has been broken... One part of me tells me that i'd broken it, so i should confess and build the trust with whatever i can again..
But one part of me knows very well that trust is not something that can be built with efforts over time once it's been damaged... Trust is a natural essence between 2 people, you can earn more trust from neutral, but it's almost impossible to go from negative to even neutral again... People forgive, but hardly forget... if you get what i mean...
If there's anything i can do to have his full trust again after i tell him about it, believe me, i'd do anything, kowtow 1000000 times also can... Name it, anything...
But the scary thing is when there's nothing I can do at all... and the relationship will just remain broken with only verbal forgiveness but a knot in his heart forever....
Erm... not sure if you understand what im trying to say...
It is possible for couples who have had affairs to come together again to rebuild a better relationship, let alone your case, which is hardly an affair.
Although people do forgive but don't forget, the important goal to forgiving is to rebuild the relationship, and the important goal of not forgetting is not to revisit past hurt and grudges, but to bear in mind one's responsibility towards not making the same mistake again. In that sense, not forgetting is a good thing. Hope that makes u feel better.
That's where you may be glad you are wrong. In a way, if you love him enough, your actions would show, and he would forgive you eventually, although it's hard, and sometimes we tend to take the easy way out. Relationships are an ongoing thing, we must always bear that in mind. It's not static. You underestimate your own powers of enriching the love in your relationship. Sincerity and love can move mountains.
I'm going to search out that article, and msg it to you. I couldn't find it yesterday. Give me some time.. -
Originally posted by AndrewPKYap:
Andrew has a good point. It's not the ultimate disaster yet.
Do you really think that if you system restore, then life would be better? It might be worse. You might end up with someone else other than W and actually have intercourse. Now you know how difficult it is to cheat.
You might have cheated with someone other than W and he insists in telling your bf hoping that you will end up with him.
Just be thankful that it happened with W and it happened this way.
What you know NOW is so much better knowing that you will find it "difficult" and "sorrowful" if you cheat.
Forget/ be thankful for the incident and just move on with life and try to solve your underlying problems ... -
boka,Originally posted by boka:No need for 10 years.
I have already knew what your actions was trying to speak for but by my beliefs,i cannot accept such actions.
Let me give you an example.
Say, you know of someone (an ex-classmate, a friend, an acquaintance) who steals and ends up in jail. He served a couple of months and is released recently.
And he is remorseful and tells you he's determined to make good.
There would be people who will tell him "Great, I'm glad you will make good in life. You sound truly remorseful".
And there would be people who would tell him "You're junk. A thief is always a thief".
The common thing between these types of people is they don't condone stealing. The big difference is their heart, and their kindness, compassion towards others, or the lack of it.
At 18, I think you and your peers are concerned with self-expression and although, you may not be aware or it, are concerned with putting people and their behaviors into boxes and compartmentalizing them.
"He's a good student, and tries hard in life" - RIGHT
"He's a buaya, and flirts with all girls" - WRONG
"She's a good and kind person, who helps friends in homework" - RIGHT
"She's a bf-stealer" - WRONG.
And it may very well be that the above pairs of statements describe the same persons.
The truth is life is a complex process, and everyone has different roles in life, which he/she may not achieve excellence (moral/academic/sporting) in. I am sure you know of some fellow student who is excellent in studies, sports , well-liked by teachers, but somehow you think his attitude sucks.
Having said that, my point is that one should be compassionate towards others, and not condemn them for their past mistakes. You may rightfully say that "they never change, they don't learn", but who are we to judge their level of remorse?
I am not sure if the above thinking is acceptable to guys your age yet. -
Hmm.. After reading through the thread, i would suggest that you reconsider the relationship.
You mentioned you tried to date him but he puts his game before you, with zero effort of repaying your understanding by not planning another date out.
As much as i love computer games,(i clock 17-hour-gaming days before i had my gf.) i believe Girlfriend > Computer Games.
Your bf is childish and self-centered. That's coming from a fellow gamer who is the same age as him. Also, is he working ?
Questions.
Do you really love him or do you love the stability he provides? (I mean a hardcore gamer wont really bother about flings outside.)
Or you just cannot bear to waste all the efforts that you have put into the relationship ?
An ideal relationship is, in my opinion, one which satisfies both parties, which both can derive happiness from.(I would gladly sponsor a vibrator to my gf if i am a poor performer in bed)
You are 25, time waits for no one.
I say you either wake him up or leave him in his bloody World of Warcraft.