virginity
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I guess it has been mentioned many times before ... a guy always wanna be the gal's first while the gal wanna be the guy's last ...
Does it matter if you are virgin or not? To an English gal, it does make a few thousand sterling pounds difference! -
I'll speak for myself here - honesty rates a hell of a lot higher than virginity. If the guy can't deal with it, for God's sake trade him in for someone who can.Originally posted by unwantedgal:whoa! as a new member to this forum, rather amazed to get so many replies so fast! anyway, to the oldbreadstinks who says my nick is disturbing.. haha what is wrong with it? so the general view is that virginity is not that important, more important is the present, the now, the intention and the feelings of the person involved.
ok so another question.. what do you tnk of the guy who wants a virgin girlfriend? and if you are with the guy, should you let on the fact that you had sex once and it was lost control kind of shit?
Let me put it this way: If the bugger's so piss-weak that he can't handle you not being a virgin, why would you want to spend the rest of your life with him? Along the way, five bucks will get you ten that you will face much bigger challenges than this - not to jinx you, but examples of this are loss of jobs, deaths in the family, miscarriages, all sorts of health problems, maybe even a war. If he can't deal with you not being a virgin, do you think he's got the balls to stand by you "for better or for worse, in sickness and in health"? Get real.
If he's got a problem with it, trade him in for someone who doesn't. If that fails, get a dog - at least it will love you unconditionally. -
hmm .. this issue has element of stock marketing .. lol .. come on lets trade!
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to some certain extend i still value...at least to me, i see it as a kind of discipline...Originally posted by unwantedgal:do guys still value virginity? would you give up your girlfriend over that? how can you tell if she is still a virgin? can a doctor really see that you are one, or is he merely inspecting your hymen? if hymen can be torn through vigourous sports, what can of sports are we talking about? is it possible that the first time you had sexual intercourse, no blood resulted?
if she have it, it is a bonus...
if not, then have to see what is the nature of events...
if a gal losses it because she is very free to give it(flirt)...i guess i would not be her bf after all...
Jus as long as she dun give it to some1 else while we r together is gd enough...dun really feel much about it ...
inspecting hymen and sign of injury is some form of guage but it is really difficult to say as many other factors may interfere with the inspection...it is all about trust and integrity if the gal is telling the truth
hymen can be torn through vigourous sports as some1 said ... cycling, horse ridding, aerobics, etc...
it is possible that the first time you had sexual intercourse, no blood resulted because the hymen is still intact. -
I usually avoid bar topics unless they are constructive...
Azreal's simplistic views aside, there needs to be an understanding on the issue of putting virginity in it's correct context. It would be irrational to argue that it does not matter for the truth was, if it was an nonissue, nobody would bother with it.
Being despoilt certainly has its obvious advantages, for a person who does not have a history of sleeping has a far, far lower risk running into problems associated with a havoc lifestyle, as well as some rather abstract concepts of keeping oneself soley for The One.
Anyway, the important thing is that, yes we need to understand that we should not condemn or reject anybody regarding their virginity status, but at the same time we must not disregard the virtues of being sexually pure at the same time, one needs to be clear on the two.
The truth is, if sex was just a physical act with no emotional or spirtual (for those of you who are religious) implications, it would not be taken any more seriously then eating or drinking. Are you sure it's exactly wise to engage in such behaviour outside the vows of marriage? With all those people who have given up their bodies in expectation for the best and then got burned when the relationship dried up, they can tell you it's not the prudent thing is not to do. If we had respect for ourselves, we would not treat our bodies so lightly, unless we have no reason to live that is.
Especially in an age where people regard each other as pieces of meat and have little respect for each other as human beings, it isn't exactly unwise for people of either gender to keep themselves pure until marriage, to avoid getting into all kinds of trouble and being used by people who just want them for their flesh. -
agree agree!!Originally posted by Gedanken:get a dog - at least it will love you unconditionally.
i'm getting a dog when i get my own place
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ST, what you say has merit, but does the above paragraph not allude exactly to the knowledge in the Voltaire quote that Azrael posted?Originally posted by SingaporeTyrannosaur:With all those people who have given up their bodies in expectation for the best and then got burned when the relationship dried up, they can tell you it's not the prudent thing is not to do. If we had respect for ourselves, we would not treat our bodies so lightly, unless we have no reason to live that is. -
in answer to this quote. don't you think that you are equating your girlfriend to a mere property? that you are objectifiying women and going back to the cavemen notion of man rules supreme while women are mere objects to be owned? i am terribly disturbed by the choice of words that you used! the words "buying" indicating that women are nothing but mere toys in the shop and "enjoyed by other guys" as if the notion of sex is merely sexual pleasure on the guys part! "half-price"?!? does that mean that women can be bought and owned? And that once they had had sex before their value drops??? perhaps you did not mean it in that manner but you choice of words clearly signifies the subconscious imagery you have of women! do not jump into conclusion that there is no hidden meaning behind your choice of words. it would do all of womanhood and your future girlfriend a great deal of good if you truthfully examine if there lurks a subconscious notion that women are nothing but objects and not a whole person.Originally posted by Jaws:well.....for guys, its like the girlfriend kana being "enjoyed" by other guys b4....so hafta be responsible to "take over". the feeling quite weird lor. its like buying something 2nd hand and haf to pay full price.
if every gal thinks that it doesn't matter as the guy will love dem, i tell you that these gals thinking are wrong. becuz dey dun treasure their virginity, they may face a guy whom would not treasure dem as well....
pay the price to try it!! -
i din say we guys treat girls as a property. I say "its like".Originally posted by unwantedgal:in answer to this quote. don't you think that you are equating your girlfriend to a mere property? that you are objectifiying women and going back to the cavemen notion of man rules supreme while women are mere objects to be owned? i am terribly disturbed by the choice of words that you used! the words "buying" indicating that women are nothing but mere toys in the shop and "enjoyed by other guys" as if the notion of sex is merely sexual pleasure on the guys part! "half-price"?!? does that mean that women can be bought and owned? And that once they had had sex before their value drops??? perhaps you did not mean it in that manner but you choice of words clearly signifies the subconscious imagery you have of women! do not jump into conclusion that there is no hidden meaning behind your choice of words. it would do all of womanhood and your future girlfriend a great deal of good if you truthfully examine if there lurks a subconscious notion that women are nothing but objects and not a whole person.
do u noe how much $$ a guy have to prepare to marry a gal? and marry a gal who had sex with other guys b4 seems so stupid. -
so ur relationship is so based on $$...Originally posted by Jaws:i din say we guys treat girls as a property. I say "its like".
do u noe how much $$ a guy have to prepare to marry a gal? and marry a gal who had sex with other guys b4 seems so stupid.
i'd pity ur gf...
wad if the ger's been raped b4? shd she stay single forever just becoz of ur immature thinking? -
At this rate, what are the betting odds that some girl would be stupid enough to go out with anybody with an attitude like that?
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A marriage cert is only $20+ ... if you find it expensive split half with your partner. Is that so expensive ...????Originally posted by Jaws:i din say we guys treat girls as a property. I say "its like".
do u noe how much $$ a guy have to prepare to marry a gal? and marry a gal who had sex with other guys b4 seems so stupid.
pardon me, are you a virgin yourself?? From what you said may i interpret your opinon as such, a virgin girl marrying a non virgin guy is also devaluing herself worth coz she definately deserve someone that is as whole as she is ... so she is also stupid in this case rite ?? it's seems like a " me a virgin, high and mighty, shouldn't marry a lowly non virgin like you" if everyone speaks for a open society, isn't that a perfect eg of contradiction??
is it just your ego talking or am i reading something wrongly... ?? seems like a pure breed MCP talking here .... -
i wouldn't be happy to find out my gf's been sleeping around if i'm going to marry herOriginally posted by springtime:A marriage cert is only $20+ ... if you find it expensive split half with your partner. Is that so expensive ...????
pardon me, are you a virgin yourself?? From what you said may i interpret your opinon as such, a virgin girl marrying a non virgin guy is also devaluing herself worth coz she definately deserve someone that is as whole as she is ... so she is also stupid in this case rite ?? it's seems like a " me a virgin, high and mighty, shouldn't marry a lowly non virgin like you" if everyone speaks for a open society, isn't that a perfect eg of contradiction??
is it just your ego talking or am i reading something wrongly... ?? seems like a pure breed MCP talking here ....
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it says unwantedgal and coupled with this thread, it reminds me of sucidesOriginally posted by unwantedgal:whoa! as a new member to this forum, rather amazed to get so many replies so fast! anyway, to the oldbreadstinks who says my nick is disturbing.. haha what is wrong with it? 
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like wise ... dun think i want to get myself a guy tat sleeps around... god knows what he might had been infected with
still feel that as long as it's a honest monogamy relationship guy or girl ... does the past really matters that much .... ? mistake or no mistake isn't it faithfulness and trust that matter most in a relationship??? -
i'm a guy.. 19/m..
maybe a lot of ppl say things like "if u love her, u wun mind her lose of virginity to other guys".. however, i'm someone who have been thru it.
i was still a virgin when i noe my current gf.. she had already lost ur virginity to two guys b4 she gets to noe me. of coz, i dun deny, dat upon hearing her confessing to me her lose of virginity initially, i was quite angry.. i dun feel comfortable by the fact dat she was been touched by other guys b4.. well, i think dat's the first tot dat guys think of when they hear abt the truth.. however, after sitting down n cooling off, i realised dat i shouldnt be so stupid as to let a virginty issue spoiling our loving relationship.. i do understand dat gals tend to give in to guys' desires who they loved dearly.. so, i shldnt be so petty as to blame her for dat right?..
true, we are still loving together.. but once in a while, we would get into little quarrels.. n also at dis crossroads, the tot of me giving in to her, most of the time, makes me feel unfair.. i noe dis is unjustifiable.. but the dis really the truth deep in my heart... but i noe, at the end of de day.. i will still give in n dote on her.. as she is de one dat i love so much..
happie valentine's day to all as well.. -
Put it simple. ...
If u r a guy ; your intended wife isn't a "v"
-> will u NOT marry her ?
If u r a gal; your intended husband isn't a "V"
-> will u NOT marry him ?
Marriage isn't a official certificate to break hymen !!! Never !!!
Have peace and be glad that u r fortunate to find someone u luv -
Huh?Originally posted by Gedanken:ST, what you say has merit, but does the above paragraph not allude exactly to the knowledge in the Voltaire quote that Azrael posted?
Oh I get what you mean.
But the crucial difference here if obvious, while those who have done the deed may be less ignorant, would their 20/20 hindsight be in the same context as Voltaire might like to put it as?
Obviously while both parties can claim less ignorance, would they agree entirely with each other? I doubt it.
How many people who gave up their virginity outside marriage for the sake of it, under pressure or in some error can agree with Voltaire's assertation that guarding's one's purity is an infantile superstition or a mature attitude regarding one's own body?
That's what I meant.
And that's why I would not take Azreal seriously in many cases, especially when he love to subsitute famous quotes for common sense. I would love to quote Adolf if I was anti-semetic, but really how much of what he said made sense? -
i am not denying the fact that anyone would have a apprehension. but the truth of the matter is, what lies behind it? is it coz the thought of guys sleeping with your girlfriend makes you question how much the previous guys meant to her? or if she habitually sleeps aroudn then it becomes a moral question. but if she only did it with her ex bf after being with him for a long period of time, and the reason why you unhappy with her is that she has been touched? that really sounds like a proprietary interest in the girl! not accepting her as a whole!Originally posted by oldbreadstinks:i wouldn't be happy to find out my gf's been sleeping around if i'm going to marry her
ps: i chose my nick. even if its disturbing you. i am too lazy to change it. -
i won't mind if my gf\wife is not a virgin, but i'll mind if she's sleeping around
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oh gosh! u just so prove me right! how much to marry a girl?? marrying a girl who has sex with other guys is stupid? u make it seem like you would marry only a virgin regardless of the feeligns you have towards her. wait a minute, do you even involve feelings into the equation of a relationship? if a relationship is merely a cold calculation of cash and sex, perhaps you should really rethink your value system and the relationships you currently have in your life.Originally posted by Jaws:i din say we guys treat girls as a property. I say "its like".
do u noe how much $$ a guy have to prepare to marry a gal? and marry a gal who had sex with other guys b4 seems so stupid.
Another question to all guys out there. is this mr jaws an exception or the rule? i would lose all my faith in the guys of the world if you tell me mr jaws is the rule. hurry convince me otherwise before i just turn lesbian. -
huh u going to turn les jus because he added his comments...Originally posted by unwantedgal:oh gosh! u just so prove me right! how much to marry a girl?? marrying a girl who has sex with other guys is stupid? u make it seem like you would marry only a virgin regardless of the feeligns you have towards her. wait a minute, do you even involve feelings into the equation of a relationship? if a relationship is merely a cold calculation of cash and sex, perhaps you should really rethink your value system and the relationships you currently have in your life.
Another question to all guys out there. is this mr jaws an exception or the rule? i would lose all my faith in the guys of the world if you tell me mr jaws is the rule. hurry convince me otherwise before i just turn lesbian.
Of cos nobody can be representing their gender to speak as a whole community...wat jaws say is jus wat a individual who went tru/ or thinking...
ppl that u have encounted, could be unfairly bias to some sort of characters or such... expend ur circles of fren and u should see some guys are much different from each other...
stay positive... -
wah.. relax lehz.. i think for most guys out there.. we are willing to accept n love a gal who is not a virgin.. dun worry..Originally posted by unwantedgal:oh gosh! u just so prove me right! how much to marry a girl?? marrying a girl who has sex with other guys is stupid? u make it seem like you would marry only a virgin regardless of the feeligns you have towards her. wait a minute, do you even involve feelings into the equation of a relationship? if a relationship is merely a cold calculation of cash and sex, perhaps you should really rethink your value system and the relationships you currently have in your life.
Another question to all guys out there. is this mr jaws an exception or the rule? i would lose all my faith in the guys of the world if you tell me mr jaws is the rule. hurry convince me otherwise before i just turn lesbian. -
hmm...
At this point, I think that at this point all guy will think if we are faced with this situation... "How much do I love her?" "If I really love her, does this really matter?" "Do I condemn her for a mistake make from the past?"
Well that is my opinion....
James Lim -
yeah..ur situation is exactly the same as mine..nearly anyway..i can emphatise wif u..i still love her very much..but sometimes the tot of not being her 1st man really makes me feel sad, but i have given her my all..and i dun mind at all..guess tis is called love..Originally posted by weiwei:i'm a guy.. 19/m..
maybe a lot of ppl say things like "if u love her, u wun mind her lose of virginity to other guys".. however, i'm someone who have been thru it.
i was still a virgin when i noe my current gf.. she had already lost ur virginity to two guys b4 she gets to noe me. of coz, i dun deny, dat upon hearing her confessing to me her lose of virginity initially, i was quite angry.. i dun feel comfortable by the fact dat she was been touched by other guys b4.. well, i think dat's the first tot dat guys think of when they hear abt the truth.. however, after sitting down n cooling off, i realised dat i shouldnt be so stupid as to let a virginty issue spoiling our loving relationship.. i do understand dat gals tend to give in to guys' desires who they loved dearly.. so, i shldnt be so petty as to blame her for dat right?..
true, we are still loving together.. but once in a while, we would get into little quarrels.. n also at dis crossroads, the tot of me giving in to her, most of the time, makes me feel unfair.. i noe dis is unjustifiable.. but the dis really the truth deep in my heart... but i noe, at the end of de day.. i will still give in n dote on her.. as she is de one dat i love so much..
happie valentine's day to all as well..