Bad News
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of coz... she's scared.. she's worried.... u;re so heartless, so irresponsible... i understand that u'll also get frustrated.... but pls dun vent ur anger on her or scold her k.. if u love her, stick to her... after all, she'll be the one going thru the abortion, NOT U!Originally posted by Goh Cheok Tong:we use up the 2 PTK liao same results and she only cry here cry there like very KPKB make me more angry -
u better let each other's parents know... i dun think any of u can handle it.... they wont kill u... ur parents will get very angry...Originally posted by Goh Cheok Tong:we both 19 onli how to tell later my parents kill me so just want to keep everything under table and forget the whole matter after the abortion
but u;re still their children... they'll try their best to help u... it's so unfair... -
wa.... ur frens ah... ask them to fuck off la... so irresponsible one... how can u or any guy do tt? so heartless.... if u love her, stay be her side... she needs u... and yes i still encourage u to let the adults know about it...Originally posted by Goh Cheok Tong:Pls advise me wat to do i turn to my friend they tell me to ditch her and find another girl to play wif no need so serious one but cannot ditch lah i really love her like mad -
Can understand ur bein lost and caught in tis dilemia..
It is not wat anyone will want to get into.. But once u got into it.. It has become a fact n u can't run from it..
Try to see it from your gf pt of view... I think she cry is coz.. She herself too is lost, and upset.. Gals no matter wat, tend to be more emotional than guys.. It takes 2 hands to clap.. Not only she is responsible for the pregnancy.. But u r also involved.. It isn entirely her fault nor ur fault.. No one expected for tis to happen.. Rather than losin ur temper at her.. Shouldn u be more manly.. N show her more concern?
Mayb the both of u could sit down n have a heart to heart talk to as wat to do.. U can't based on ur decision alone. Would u lik her to mak the decision on ur behalf if u were in her shoes? Hear her out first.. N talk with each other wat to u actually want..
As many as mentioned.. Goin thru an abortion is not as easy as wat abortion is defined as. The trauma, the emotional hurt etc. I strongly feel tat the relationship will certainly have changes regardless of wat ur decision mayb..
The baby is jus an innocent party.. There r many options tat u both may consider.. Abortion usually comes into mind first whenever an unwanted pregnacy has occured.. The reason bein - It is the most convivent method. U jus pay a sum of money and all ur prob is solved. Has it really been so? CAn u leave with the guilt tat u might think u won feel at all?
I feel tat.. U should respect her choice watever it is.. After all.. she should have the say.. Who be the one givin birth? Who be the one goin thru all the pains of abortion? She.. So? U both too could consider adoption..
Sometimes i feel.. Alot documentaries show.. Mothers.. YOung mothers.. Huggin their bundle of joy.. After goin thru so much sufferin n pain, they had given birth to a baby.. And at first sight.. No matter how hard or against someone has against children.. U will be in awe lik.. hey.. Tis cute infant here is my baby!
I duno.. True.. 19 yrs old is too young to be parents. But u should be responsible for wat u have done.. U can't jus shrink responsiblites lik tat.. Jus be with ur gf.. Hug her n jus keep quiet.. Let her cry all she wants.. Then when she is stable.. Talk with her.. See the doctor.. I think they should be able to give u advice tat u need...
Wishin u all the best.. -
have u ever thought tat if ur parents last time feel the same way and if dey are like u, would u be able to come to tis world?
u cannot afford to be so selfish. spare a thought for that poor baby -
the more i read this guy's replies, the more pissed i get
1stly, ur gf is crying cos she is scared u irresponsible piece of shit! she is the one who is pregnant, not YOU! instead of trying to console her, u keep saying she KPKB...WTF!?!?
2ndly, you say things like "i hope she will respect my decision tat i dun want kids". NB!!! ur parents should have said the same thing 19yrs ago then ur gf wun be in this dilemma now. how abt YOU respecting her decision if she wants to keep the child? not only are u irreponsible but SELFISH too!
3rdly, u think abortion so easy ah. want to have sex but dun want to accept the responsibility. in the end who suffer? the gal ok...she will be called all sorts of names by people who dun understand....cheap, shameless, $lut, these are just some of them. but YOU? u dun have to suffer a single humiliation except maybe for a whacking from ur parents (which she will most prob get it from hers too...prob worse even) -
Now wat u need to do is to find a solution to this problem.
1st... nv abort the child... u will regret it later, especially yr gf.
2nd, honestly let both parents noe abt this case. Who noes, they may be happy to hv a grandchild so soon (it did happen to my friend too).
3rd, discuss calmly with yr parents on issues like how to support the baby. You can repay them back when u started working in future. If not, u can work part-time but not forgoing yr study plzzz...
I hv to mention tat even if u r from a poor family, there's still way to support yr child. If no, does tat mean that poor people cannot start a family??? no rite... be positive n be good to yr gf... let her noe tat u will be responsible. I think she will be very happy and at ease after tat.
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now lor..u got a hard time le
u must be very cool minded liao.. u must understand why she cry lor...she scare tat u will just walk away leaving her alone...she also know u two still young very hard to survive and also scare after letting ur parents know u 2will be in for a scolding
be responsible for wad u done...i think the best is still let ur parents know...they sure scold u and force u to marry but i confirm they will help u... -
gays don't face problems..like this ..
Come for BBQ 2004 lemme advise you lah.. -
The frustration felt by both parties is understandable. Afterall, you did not plan to have any children at this age. Either decision made, there' may be one seriously upset party.
Apparently, abortion would leave a deep scar on the girl's life and may also adversely affect her health. If you see her as your future life partner, would you bear to hurt her health?
On the other hand, forced responsibility may result in an unhappy family, unless your mindset is changed -- i.e. accept the responsibility whole-heartedly and work hard to support your new-found family. If you calm down and decide to take up the responsibility like a mature man, I'm sure you can look forward to a blissful life.
Since your parents may not provide you with patient listening ears, how about going for a counselling session with 1 of the many family service centres in Singapore? I volunteer with such an organisation, so am confident that they can provide you with professional help and link you to people who are experienced in handling such situations. (Obviously, no one in your family has faced such an issue before, so an expert in this field could give you much more reliable advice based on a wide range of perspectives.) The sessions are either free or very affordable, depending on your family income.
Your feelings are as important as your girlfriend's, so in order to ensure that both of you make the right decision and fully understand the rationale behind the decision, do try out counselling services.
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a couple of questions.
do you guys think this person is ready to be a father, or the girl is ready to be a mother?
on the other hand, do u folks think this "baby" needs or will live better with such "parents"? -
haiz goh i know its a difficult choice since u r studying... but really try talking the parents from both sides. sure they may be angry at first but i am sure in the end they'll understand and giv u and ur gf the support u'll need ... pls think twice. many wish for a child but didnt get it, but u were blessed with one.. (maybe at the wrong time) but i am sure u are gonna regret this for the rest of ur life .... pls reconsider ..
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Well my advise is go tell your parents no matter what it is what U decide parents got to know it all.... and both of u r under 21 U will need parents consent to go through the abortion process unless is those pte type than i'm not sure... BTW put yourself in your gf shoes n think from her point of view... most likely after the abortion she will not want to be with you any more no matter how much U "LOVE" her.... N you know what, if after the abortion she is not able to conceive U would have successfully destroy her hopes in future to have any babies n not forget her future husband's hope of having a complete family with kids
wise up dude U maybe free from problems after the abortion but she is not -
Think about it pal, I understand that you do not want kids but do you think it's a bit selfish on your side cos can you guarantee that you will be with your gal forever? (nothing is 100%, my friend)
If you were to dump her one day, the abortion is going to haunt her for the rest of her life. What if she want to have kids in future but have problems due to your decision of an abortion?
Do you know that having an abortion will cause quite a lot of damage to a woman's health? It may appear as a simple surgery though.
Just spare a thought for her if you really love her, don't complain that she KPKB, she is also facing fear and doubts as in what to do. She needs a lot of support now.
I understand your point too as you think this is not the suitable time for you and you gal to settle down for a family, try to calm down and have a good talk with each other and find the best solution to this problem.
You have to have a very clear mind cos it's no joking matter, concern a new life and the future of your gal. (and of cos yours as well)
Both of you have to face this problem as two mature adults, tell your parents and I believe that no parents will leave their children in the lurch.
Whatever your decision is, good luck pal.
Let's just hope this is a false alarm. -
my views ar....
dun tink u're ready to hav a kid lor..
abortion is not the only way to go about this..
adoption is another method?
sth abt abortion... i once read somewhere, should sth go wrong in the operation, the girl can die de...
its dangerous lo..
if i tio this kinda thing ar.... tink i would defer classes? till the bb is born.. then give him/her up for adoption.. sad, but better than the kid sufferin with me..
if it helps ar.. my parents got married cos of me
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if the doctor left anything inside, she may get cancer lo.. wat do u call it? in chinese its zi gong ai.. cancer in the uterus? hmmOriginally posted by Blueskyz:Do you know that having an abortion will cause quite a lot of damage to a woman's health? It may appear as a simple surgery though.
if the doc scraped a bit too much, she is unable to give birth at all... got sth to do with the wall linin too thin or sth...
if my bf wants me to abort ar....... will chop off his dick b4 i do anything -
hmm.. If there is a cause, there'll be an effect. (Cause and Effect)
You lay this cause (by having sex with your gf and unfortunately shotgun) and this is the effect (your gf got pregnant) so you must accept this fact.
If you choose not to have the baby.. (this is a cause you intended to make.) and you might regret (eg: loneliness for life <-- this might be the effect of the cause you made.)
We can only advise you but the decision is up to both of you.. Be a man!
Man will die for his honor! Woman will die for her man!
Dont regret by your own action.
Best Regards
AltDelSpace -
why not?Originally posted by www:a couple of questions.
do you guys think this person is ready to be a father, or the girl is ready to be a mother?
Personally, I have found many cases whereby the parents become more well-off after having children.Originally posted by www:on the other hand, do u folks think this "baby" needs or will live better with such "parents"?
I have also seen cases of the couples having abortion before. Mentally, they aren't in a good state compared to the normal couples. -
Idiot fellow, if i know who u are, i'll bash u up. If u not ready then don't have sex. Such an idiot a disgraced to your parents and i pity your gf who had give in to u but never know u are such a bastard.
I really cannot tolerant a guy tat no responsibility. Totally a disgrace to be a man and u should go castrated yourself since u say still young blah blah blah.
Then why u have sex? Idiot coward fellow. I despised you.
Don't let me know who u are, otherwise i'll make u regret to born as a man. -
TIME TO BE A MAN.
TAKE UP THE RESPONSIBILITY. -
Friend... If you are a MAN, please be responsible. If you want to "song" with her, you have to pay the price. If you love your gf, you have to always comfort her, take care of her.
Dun anyhow give excuses so that you can avoid this problem like a chicken. Remember that "YOU ARE A MAN". You are a man who "ding tian li di". If you have no courage to face your problem, please chop off your dick and live in your chicken life.
Dun be heartless, otherwise you surely will end up with losing someone you love in your life. You will regret forever, might fall into a deep depression valley. I saw too many cases like this. Even though the girl is willing to undergo for abortion, later she mostly will get depressed, never trust guys anymore or start to sleep around with other guys (duo lo). It is you who lead her to darkness.
Go and tell both parents so that they will help to solve this problem.
I am sure that you received all the reply here before my turn. Friend, be wise and responsible. -
Uncle snowflag advises Goh Cheok Tong to keep the child.
There are mistakes that young people make, which become a blessing in disguise when they take responsibility for it.
But going for abortion will never be a blessing in disguise, as it will be a curse to your whole life and ur gf. I have seen how such a curse has on the couple.
Lack of support from the man to keep the child, is a major factor in a womanÂ’s decision to get an abortion. -
well, guess lots of pple have commented abt him to be responsible & get the baby... but personally feel dat frm his comments & stuff, he's not ready for a baby or the respnsibility of bein the head of his own family... & the kid's gonna suffer in yrs to come... abortion is an option, though not recommended... Goh, dun take it as the only way out... kinda like the most selfish way out... Seriously feel dat putin the kid for adoption is the best option, cuz not only the kid's alive, at least he/she can be kept by a family dat is truely able to provide & love him/her...
however, adoption is not ez as tot too... the gf'll soon have emotional ties wif the baby & might jus wan to keep the baby... den guess it's time for responsibilty to take place...
jus my 2 cents worth of opinion...
let God's Will be done...
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I understand what you are going thru. I have dated gals that have related such instances to me before and more than 1 occasion I put myself into such a situation and wondered what would I do.
The truth of the matter is that, as a guy, you HAVE to stand by your gf. I assume that you're not lying about loving her, because many guys lie in such situation (ie. she go thru so much for me, yet I dun love her, that makes me evil... blah)
I really do not think you're ready for such a big responsibility, but if she wants the baby, then you MUST respect her decision. Marry her, keep the baby and be a REAL man.
My experience has always been that the gal dun want the baby even tho the guy is willing to marry her. The gals dun want to be stuck with low paying army officers (these gals I know are very rich, and they want to stay that way)and bring up a baby with him. They are the ones telling the guy they want the abortion.
You have NO choice in this matter of keeping or aborting. You both of course must think thru and see if you can keep the baby. Cost, maturity, exam stress, environment to bring up the child, etc. Put in every factor. And for once in your life, THINK.
I'm not asking you to shirk responsibility and push decision to your gf, but I really feel that you 2 are not ready for a baby. The gals I know are 20-25, filthy rich. Cost is not a problem. Yet the gals want to abort because they are not ready to start a family.
As for you, too bad, be a man. If you have problems doing that, read the preceeding posts, some of them do teach you how. -
Abortion is the Way.
Can't imagine the kids to have parents like you.