Bad News
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Sad to say, YOU are not mature enough... When such things happens, it is always the gal who feels the hurt, mentally, emotionally and physically...
I've replied to you in another thread of yours. If both parents are agreeable, give birth to the child. If you think you are not ready to be parents, give the child up for adoption. I have a friend, she was in JC tat time. Made pregnant by a bastard and dumped her. By the time she dicovered she was pregnant, the baby was about to be due in 3 months. (She is TAT skinny) Luckily, she found the baby a foster parents who paid for everything - medical fees, hospitalisation fees and all the tonics. They were kind and well-to-do. The next day after the baby was born, he was taken away. No doubt my friend was devastated, but at least, the baby wouldn't get to suffer.
What i meant by sharing this story is to let you understand the trauma a gal has to go thru when pregnancy occurs. I don't mean to break you up, but can you assure the 2 of you will be together 'bai tou dao lao'??? Both of you are still young, too early to talk about commitment.
If giving birth is out of the question, then abortion is the last resort. After tat, please pay extremely high importance to your gf. Depression is a major setback after the operation. She will be be temperamenta but please, give in to her. You have to DO it , no argue.
As for your bunch of friends, ask them to fcuk off. Wish them good luck cause there will be divine retribution.
Keep us update on your decision if you don't mind. I'm sure we all can offer help to you on how to "care" for your gf. Don't scold her or ask her not to KPKB in front of her anymore... She is feeling bad enough.
All the best... -
b a man, b responsible. so wat u give her $$$ abortion? u think u got $$$ den u god meh? can screw ard and say "nah, i give u $$$ u go abort" FUK U MAN! I DESPISE PPL LIKE U!!! U R NO MAN!!! U R JUZ A LOSER!!! MAY IRRESPONSIBLE PPL LIKE U ROT IN HELL!!!
either u tell ur parents n keep the baby, or use ur filthy $$$ n b a murderer. the 2nd option will make u an absolute FUKER n ASSHOLE, and make ur GF who u claim 2 love her, live in a lost world of herself.
and btw, since u like fuking so much, go FUK UR FUKING FRENS who should not even have existed in this world! make the right decision, they aint frens at all, they r fukers.
in the 1st place, if u really love her so much, y have sex wif her when u both 19? in ur screwed-up brain u should know the responsibility of that moment of enjoyment ok? hello u r 19, not 9! think thru! -
i'm shocked and sad to hear this.
i remembered i ever came across those pix of aborted babies with amputated legs/hands/body n head from email....so gross & cruel ah!!!
think thrice b4 u commit a serious wrong, baby is innocent so is your girlfriend. You claim you love her, but is that the way you should treat her??
i advice you both seek some counselling from professional help b4 make any decision. -
Hi to all !! especially to Mr. Goh c.t. ..
as this my first post, I would like send my greetings to all forumers...
back to Mr. Goh's topic, I wouldn't say that I am a good adviser but here is my personal experience to share...hope you find it useful ..
I met my GF when she in SEC. 4. After a year or so .... we got into trouble... yes you guess it, the same ol pregnant trouble. I only knew about this after a sudden of change of mood from her and our quarrel burst and I found out that she had already an appointment with doctor. Our relationship was complicated as she had many so called close friends, some of which are her old BF. I was lost but the first thing I had in mind is to make this girl my wife what ever it takes. Anyway she managed to to convince me to abort our unborn child as her study (SEC.5) comes first is the main reason I accepted other then all other reason she gave. After that our relationship drop swiftly... we began to lose faith and trust in each other. She was easily jealous of me with other girls (I was trully faithful to her). I'm jealous of her kept hanging out with her ex BF. and there were men just popped out of nowhere (there were guys sending her home where she just known for days). Let this be known that we understand that we love each other very much for this to happened (I tried several times to commit suicide when her mom is against me being with her) But our quarrel just get worst and worst each time it happened until in the end it end our beloved relationship. I still think of her a lot. Though with a couple of children of my own nowadays, I always remember this GF of mine if only that this incident didn't happened I could still be with this beautiful woman I trully loved and understand me. Trust me when I say that still love my wife but this girl have special place in my heart till this very day and I can't help but to think that the abortion had ruined it. With such bad experience, I was more cautious with my wife when we started...
Mr. Goh C.T. ! I hope you truly treasure your GF very much . What ever happen just be with her till the end. And I hope you make a good decision (there's nobody's right or wrong or anybody's fault) and may you have a wonderful and meningful relationship with your GF. cheers.. -
Lets just wait for him to come back from the doctor, it ain't confirm, till its confirm. You'all blast him now also got what use? Like condoms, PTKs don't work 100% correct all the time too.
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Tis is an email passed on to me from my friend.. I found it very touchin.. HOp it can touch u, Goh..
Dear Mommy, I am in Heaven now, sitting on Jesus' lap. He loves me and cries with me; for my heart has been broken. I so wanted to be your little girl. I don't quite understand what has happened. I was so excited when I began realizing my existance. I was in a dark, yet comfortable place. I saw I had fingers and toes. I was pretty far along in my developing, yet not near ready to leave my surroundings. I spent most of my time thinking or sleeping. Even from my earliest days, I felt a special bonding between you and me. Sometimes I heard you crying and I cried with you. Sometimes you would yell or scream, then cry. I heard Daddy yelling back. I was sad, and hoped you would be better soon. I wondered why you cried so much. One day you cried almost all of the day. I hurt for you. I couldn't imagine why you were so unhappy. That same day, the most horrible thing happened. A very mean monster came into that warm, comfortable place I was in. I was so scared, I began screaming, but you never once tried to help me. Maybe you never heard me. The monster got closer and closer as I was screaming and screaming, "Mommy, Mommy, help me please; Mommy, help me." Complete terror is all I felt. I screamed and screamed until I thought I couldn't anymore. Then the monster started ripping my arms off. It hurt so bad; the pain I can never explain. It didn't stop. Oh, how I begged it to stop. I screamed in horror as it ripped my leg off. Though I was in such complete pain, I was dying. I knew I would never see your face or hear you say how much you love me. I wanted to make all your tears go away. I had so many plans to make you happy. Now I couldn't; all my dreams were shattered. Though I was in utter pain and horror, I felt the pain of my heart breaking, above all. I wanted more than anything to be your daughter. No use now, for I was dying a painful death. I could only imagine the terrible things that they had done to you. I wanted to tell you that I love you before I was gone, but I didn't know the words you could understand. And soon, I no longer had the breath to say them; I was dead.I felt myself rising. I was being carried by a huge angel into a big beautiful place. I was still crying, but the physical pain was gone. The angel took me to Jesus and set me on His lap. He said He loved me, and He was my Father. Then I was happy. I asked Him what the thing was that killed me. He answered, "Abortion. I am sorry, my child; for I know how it feels." I don't know what abortion is; I guess that's the name of the monster. I'm writing to say that I love you and to tell you how much I wanted to be your little girl. I tried very hard to live. I wanted to live. I had the will, but I couldn't; the monster was too powerful. It sucked my arms and legs off and finally got all of me. It was impossible to live. I just wanted you to know I tried to stay with you. I didn't want to die. Also, Mommy, please watch out for that abortion monster. Mommy, I love you and I would hate for you to go through the kind of pain I did. Please be careful.
Love,
Your Baby Girl -
This is not advice but rather an analysis on the guy:
You see, he's not serious with the girl and still want to play around. so he's trapped but the situation and it will definitely cut short his future fun.
- friends tell him to ditch her and he consider it
- don't want kids cause will be burden
He does not want the responsibilties because he cannot even be responsible for himself.
- Feels stress because gf possibly have baby
- Feel cannot take responsibilty for baby
- Is more afraid of making mistakes and admitting it than facing up to it
His comments and presious posts points out a selfish person whose quite shallow and into pleasuring himself and taking care of himself.
- willing to submit gf to abortion with no alternative consideration
- willing to consider walking out and think just cause he pays for abortion is
responsible
- consider crying gf bothersome and irritating
All in all, I feel very sad and sorry for his gf and his kid (if its confirm).
I cannot advise you to be a man cause I see you cannot be one and I have this aching feeling that you will dump your GF after this event whether she aborts or not and esp after she aborts.
One advice :
Do not regret whatever you choose
Do not do things that will come back and haunt you
Do not engage in things/actions when you know you cannot be responsible for
Learn from life's lesson and perhaps this is just one of the few you will have -
A few options I can see from the rest:
1) Keep the baby.
2) Abort the baby.
I would suggest u check the following first:
1) See if both parties' parents are willing to help with the child.
2) See if u are ready to complete ur studies and get a stable job to support the new family.
3) Give up for adoption.
If the answers are all no, I would suggest u opt for abortion, rather than bringing a life into this world of which he/she would be subjected to a life of abuse becos of u. Be mindful as what most people here have said:
UR conscience. It's a life.
And judging from what u have mentioned in ur personal life, I am not surprised what type of person u are. Pathetic. -
Greetings Larry! I agree with your point of opinion but I sincerely hope that Goh C.T. will stand up and face the fact. Fact is if you love your GF you will do the best for her NOT the best only for you. Abortion certainly is not the best solution here... Try other alternative before you decide on giving up on this baby! Hopefully you'll learn for this experience and be a better man in future...[/b]
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First see a family doctor to confirm first.
If really pregnant, than u have to respect your gf decision. Don't physco her to follow your decision. Be a man be reponsible.
Since u said u really love her, u should respect her decision and work hand in hand with her to overcome all odds and problems.
In life is not only think for yourself only. Do spare a thought for your love one. -
Well said !!Originally posted by Demolition:First see a family doctor to confirm first.
If really pregnant, than u have to respect your gf decision. Don't physco her to follow your decision. Be a man be reponsible.
Since u said u really love her, u should respect her decision and work hand in hand with her to overcome all odds and problems.
In life is not only think for yourself only. Do spare a thought for your love one.
TRue !!
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I agree!!!Originally posted by Demolition:First see a family doctor to confirm first.
If really pregnant, than u have to respect your gf decision. Don't physco her to follow your decision. Be a man be reponsible.
Since u said u really love her, u should respect her decision and work hand in hand with her to overcome all odds and problems.
In life is not only think for yourself only. Do spare a thought for your love one. -
Hm... He said tdy wanted to update us on the situation. Now wheres his update??
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Its still early in the evening. But if he doesn't have the time to come online could probably mean he's taking the time to do more important tasks.
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Both of u poly?Originally posted by Goh Cheok Tong:if my parents noe they confirm force me to marry her tat's 4 sure and also they will disapproved the abortion one then who will carry my burden if i gt kid so early but i marry her later in life but no so soon maybe ten yrs later but confirm marry unless she change her mind -
he kia liao lah! bo lan jiao leh!! onli know how to piak piak onli. later the ghost or ur baby comes after u then u know..
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I Can say I almost went into ur position.. My gf had false alarm.. Her period nv came for months... Test oso positive.. We were also very panicking.. From the period of finding out the test to the day we went to the doc to check up..
Thoughts really came my mind..
Wat should i do? abort? or let her give birth...
My gf was only 18 then. we are still young to let this affect us. We still have our own plans.
Me too lyk u now panic.. U noe why u worry so much? Because deep in ur heart, u feel u are in deep trouble, u feel u dun wan to face all this problems so u think the best is abort. Cause once abort, no one will noe, and no one will come and condamn u.
But on the other side, do u noe how the ger feel? She throw all her trust at u, cause u are a guy, cause u are suppose to take care of her. Even if she went for abortion. She will be haunted by all those thoughts and be very very emmotional.
If u really really love her, U muz protect her.. Not by telling her to abort.. but Stand strong with her.. bearing all consquences.. I noe it is going to be hard. But u hav to.. She is depending on u.. Cause as guys, (sorry to the gurls) we are a stronger sex on our emmotions. She is waiting for u to protect her from all the other pple's stares.
Since u did it le.. u had to take care of her.. i believe oso ur parents will nt throw u in a ditch and dun care u all.. after all u are oso their children. They understand how hard to keep the baby is (emmotionally). So as a MAN. You.. muz stand up for her.. Take care of her. Encourage her. Embrace her, Let her feel being secure again.. Gers needs the most security.. This incident robbed her security totally le.. Now u muz give her security.. So.. U muz really take good care of her.. Stay strong.. If u both love each other alot.. If u both stand for each other.. I can tell u, nth can knock u down... U maybe down.. but u are not out.. -
Doc confirm already pregnant doc took her urine to test for HCG thingy and positive.she was very very calm after we leave the clinic never say a word when i send her home just only say it's ok if you do not want the child that's all what she mean
very very unusual from her normal self dunno wat she is thinking -
The power of love...she loves you..alot..Originally posted by Goh Cheok Tong:Doc confirm already pregnant doc took her urine to test for HCG thingy and positive.she was very very calm after we leave the clinic never say a word when i send her home just only say it's ok if you do not want the child that's all what she mean
very very unusual from her normal self dunno wat she is thinking
so...she give in to you lor.. -
Huh, doc took urine sample also, machiam use PTK at home. But since doctor, trust his opinon lah. Hope you know how to carry on from here. Good luck.
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dammit...wt.f u tokin here...if they really dun care abt u they can just leave to die when u r damn young lo....how can u sae such a thing abt ur parents....they even brought u to this age n given u e education needed...all the things happened is plainly becos of ur own folly....as for this child issue...it is better that u consult ur parents n her parents...DO NOT B IRRESPONSBILE..IF U CANT HANDLE E GAME...U SHLDNT HAF STARTED IT AT E VERY 1ST.....wat a disgrace to us guys....Originally posted by Goh Cheok Tong:parents ah i not on good terms wif them even if i take drugs they oso don't care wan they oso not fit to be parents dunno why give birth to me -
she look at my eyes at a very scary way which she never did before even i was scared stiff...it's like she is going to cry but holding back very hard and feel with hatred want to kill someone so i keep quiet all the way
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The more silent a woman is .. the more you must give me loving and care especially during such moment.
Let put it this way... you are responsible for it.. even if you dont want the child (if I am sure this would be something that would haunt you for sometime in your life)...
the least you can do is to be patient with her.. listen to her.. give her assurance that things would be fine.. consult docter what would be the consequence of abortion..
Plan for the tonic that she need to take after abortion so that her body can recover faster..
Believe in Karma, it does happen, i have seen it and I experience it myself.. -
scared tat stupid girl go kill herself i better go call her now
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of cos u dunno wat shes tinking la...wat u tink is always abt urself nia...u would better watch over her well....Originally posted by Goh Cheok Tong:Doc confirm already pregnant doc took her urine to test for HCG thingy and positive.she was very very calm after we leave the clinic never say a word when i send her home just only say it's ok if you do not want the child that's all what she mean
very very unusual from her normal self dunno wat she is thinking