10 minutes.... (story)
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oi, more more more!
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Not bad not bad! Hope to see a touching story!!
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omg. is this another channel 8 8pm soap opera?
we already have holland v, zheng qing and days of our lives liao. -
I think your story is called "Cenariou's story Lite version"Originally posted by RaTtY8l:The sea breeze was blowing gently against my face. "Woah, thats such a nice feeling" I thought to myself. Time flies. One year had passed since "That incident" happened. "Why? Why did I do that?" But I could only live with the regret for as long as I breathe.
As I walk along the beach, all those memories came back. It The familiar voice, laughter, cries and feeling all came back. I do not want the feelings to come back! I only want her to come back!!! But it would not happen. Its getting late, I gotta go home or my mum will start nagging at me.
I reach home at 11pm. True enough, my mum was waiting for me at the door. But I sense something is wrong. She did not shout at me, she did not yell at me. Something is really wrong here. As I walk towards her...
Time up. Please wait til the next episode of "10 minute short story" ny ratty81 -
anione think that this dude is lame ?
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well i've had enough of lame stories and dirty stories.
this story does interest me somehow. the torn feeling between love and hate i would definately like to read more.
so when's the next post? -
Part 4...
That night i could not sleep. I do not know whether to forgive my dad or continue hating him. And so, i toss around the bed until morning. The phone was ringing.
"Sorry mdn ong, mr ong passed away last night due too severe injuries." My mum just stands there with the phone in her hand, motionless. At that split second, my whole body froze. My mind is in a blank. Suddenly, something disappeared from my world. Something which brings me anger, shame and hatred just left me. More importantly, something which gave me life had departed from my world.
Mum then cried loudly and tears flowed from my eyes uncontrolled. "Mum, shall we tell bro?" My mum said no, not wanting to disrupt my bro's last year in U in australia.
We than proceed to do my dad's funeral and mum was clearly on the verge of breakdown.
to b continued -
sibeh lame lehOriginally posted by RaTtY8l:The sea breeze was blowing gently against my face. "Woah, thats such a nice feeling" I thought to myself. Time flies. One year had passed since "That incident" happened. "Why? Why did I do that?" But I could only live with the regret for as long as I breathe.
As I walk along the beach, all those memories came back. It The familiar voice, laughter, cries and feeling all came back. I do not want the feelings to come back! I only want her to come back!!! But it would not happen. Its getting late, I gotta go home or my mum will start nagging at me.
I reach home at 11pm. True enough, my mum was waiting for me at the door. But I sense something is wrong. She did not shout at me, she did not yell at me. Something is really wrong here. As I walk towards her...
Time up. Please wait til the next episode of "10 minute short story" ny ratty81 i read liao my mao all stand up. -
u read part 1 to part 4 ma, den ur mao will not stand liaoOriginally posted by newcomer:sibeh lame leh i read liao my mao all stand up. -
Got menthol version anot?Originally posted by the.owl:I think your story is called "Cenariou's story Lite version" -
Originally posted by RaTtY8l:u read part 1 to part 4 ma, den ur mao will not stand liao i just finish part 4 liao. sound like 0 level half past 6 style leh.
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paiseh my o lv really half past 6Originally posted by newcomer: i just finish part 4 liao. sound like 0 level half past 6 style leh.
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that's more than 10 mins
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i mean i use 10 minutes to write each partOriginally posted by kaobeikaobu:that's more than 10 mins -
you got to have more substance in your story. something more original. you need a twist.Originally posted by RaTtY8l:i mean i use 10 minutes to write each part -
yea, mayb it will come in the next partOriginally posted by newcomer:you got to have more substance in your story. something more original. you need a twist. -
gambatte yo!Originally posted by RaTtY8l:yea, mayb it will come in the next part -
Part 5...
"Are you mdm ong?" A guy from BJB Insurance called. "My ong had bought an accident insurance b4 he passed away and he had named the benefactory as u mdm ong."
"That is the only good think he had done", I thought to myself. The insurance guy said that he also left something for my mum and ask us to collect it.
Upon reaching BJB Insurance, they handed to us an cheque and a box. It was the bangle that dad stolen!!! There is also a letter in the box.
- Sorry, I am useless and the only thing I could do now is to redeem back the bangle I had pawned-
Mum then wept and my hatred for my dad disappeared. "This is the bangle which Mr ong was holding on when he was knocked down and this was the message which he relayed to the police before he die." the agent said.
He has gone forever but he has left something behind. He has left behind his remorse and the loving side of him.... -
ok, i decided to give you a fail for your story because of the last part.
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wl... really mao zhan lor. hmm, to be honest, it's quite corny lah. but not bad not bad.
did dad know he was gonna get knocked down one day so he go and redeem the bangle? -
da jue ji liao ah? when is the next season?
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Part 6...
Suddenly, i feel guilty. My dad did not done his part as a father but have I done my part as a son? Why didn't I forgive him earlier? Why??? Why must human regret after things had happened? I could only live with this regret forever with me.
"Mum!!! I am back!!!" My bro after completing his U and return back home. "Where is dad?? I got so much to talk to him." Mum wept and point to the ancestal altar. Tears filled my bro eyes. "Why didnt anyone told me about dad's death???!!!"
Bro was closer to dad than me. Although he also hatred dad he learn to forgive him. I was too stubborn to forgive him. He would give dad pocket money during his NS where else I didn't even gave him a single cent from my NS days...
look out for part 7... -
when will part 7 be shown???
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salah leh..
how come the bangle was passed to mdm ong by the insurance agent?
should be the traffic police mah..