I will never forgive my mother because of this
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For those with problems (eg family, self-esteem etc), perhaps it's best to seek counselling instead of blaming your parents or others for your problems. It didn't help you in any way.
No one family is perfect. In every negative situation, you have a choice to turn into a positive one. Your own happiness lies in your own hands. Do something about it like seeking counselling etc to resolve your personal issues.
I used to have many issues due to family problems too and I always felt miserable and bitter about the whole situation until one day I told myself I could do better than just sitting there feeling miserable and bitter all the time so I decided to seek counselling. However, counselling will only help to pin-point the source of your problems, and provide helpful advice how you can overcome your problems. You will have to be willing to help yourself at the end of the day. Forgiveness is the key.
It's very easy for us (especially when we haven't got children of our own yet) to blame/accuse our parents for their parenting skills etc. Guess, we will only get to understand the difficulties of raising children when we become parents ourselves one day.
Also, you need to understand that most of our parents are probably not as highly educated like most do nowadays since they probably couldn't afford to attend school when they were young. Which parents don't want their kids to prosper? Parenting skill is not a skill you can master by hard since every child is different. Unfortunately, our parents who are not highly educated only know the general parenting skills (such as feeding us, clothing us, providing for us and sending us to school) and don't expect them to understand child pyschology etc.
So if you think you have an issue, talk to someone (like counsellor) about it and work on it. It doesn't do you anything good to blame others for your misery.
Good luck!
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ur mum kick u out ah?
sigh~ i guess she regretted her decision not to abort u
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I advice you and your family go counselling on family issues. What both parties are doing is only just piling up more pain and hurt.Originally posted by toyota-corolla:i have never forgive my parents for what they did to me.
they have been very harsh to me everytime.
no matter what i did, i am always wrong.
cane me no reason (using telephone wire) even i am 15!
no freedom in both home and outside.
wanna change phone? use your own captial.
exam, got improve but ended up scolding hurtful remarks from them.
wanna do something? always give negtive remarks.
and they did that to me just now. i went around the house yelling turnning table over, throw stuff that block my way, kick chair, bang my head and etc. then i ran into my room, slam my door, lock it. and sit on the floor.
am i suffering from server depression?
i just wanna let go my harted for them over 15years. and i suppose i cant take it anymore.
from what i stated above, is what they actually treating to me now.
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Originally posted by Simon Dean:When i was young, she never bothered to ask me if i wanted to sign up for any recreational courses or sports.Neither was she interested when i told her that i wanted to go for such a course.This cause low self esteem in my primary school days as everyone was good in something.I was not.Simply because my mother didnt give a fcuk care about developing my potential or talent from young.
She will also get so fkin paranoid whenever i do something that is deemed dangerous.
I will never fkin forgive you for that, you fker.
I can understand your resentment. My mom raised my siblings and I single-handedly..She used to be very bent on developing my talents when we were still well-off. She suddenly sent me overseas to study when I was 16. A year into my studies, she started having probs wiring money over. I couldn't even buy clothes for winter. She wouldn't explain anything to me.
To my utter shock one day, I discovered that both my parents' mobile phone numbers were out of service. Even the house phone had been cut. Soon after, they stopped sending money. I was left stranded alone in Australia with no way to contact them. I didn't have any other relatives' numbers on me, and I didn't know how to tell my friends.
I found a decent job as a waitress, scrimped and saved, but it wouldn't cover all my expenses. After 6 mths of this, I got a call from my mom. She told me everything would be ok, that I couldn't give up hope. I so very much wanted to believe her.
During the last year of my stay there, I stayed with kind friends. But the money never came. When I got sick of freeloading, I went to live in the backseat of an old car parked beside a field of horses for a few mths (if I needed to shower I sneaked into backpacker hotels or used public baths by the beach). I finally admitted defeat when I received another call from my mom - she gave me her new ctc number - and then I got my school to cancel my visa. Then, I was 19 going on 20.
I thought my nightmare was over, so I never saw this coming. We had moved from fully-paid landed property to a small HDB flat. My dad had sabotaged my mom's business and she had been declared bankrupt and forced to wind up. No more cars, no domestic helpers, office furniture made our new HDB flat look like storage. My mom had lost a shocking amt of weight. She explained that she didn't tell me any of this to "protect me".. that upset me even more because I didn't understand at the time. I couldn't take it, I moved out.
I only recently found it within myself to forgive her and rebuild my relationship with her. I forgave my dad as well but kept my distance. My mom wants to write a book about our family "adventures" soon, and I will translate it for her. It's not good to hang onto these negative emotions because it stops you from going forward.
That, and not your mom, is the only thing that can really stop you from realising your full potential. (That's what I realised eventually). I hope you can move on too, sometime in the near future. All da best. -
jiayou!Originally posted by spinsugar:
I can understand your resentment. My mom raised my siblings and I single-handedly..She used to be very bent on developing my talents when we were still well-off. She suddenly sent me overseas to study when I was 16. A year into my studies, she started having probs wiring money over. I couldn't even buy clothes for winter. She wouldn't explain anything to me.
To my utter shock one day, I discovered that both my parents' mobile phone numbers were out of service. Even the house phone had been cut. Soon after, they stopped sending money. I was left stranded alone in Australia with no way to contact them. I didn't have any other relatives' numbers on me, and I didn't know how to tell my friends.
I found a decent job as a waitress, scrimped and saved, but it wouldn't cover all my expenses. After 6 mths of this, I got a call from my mom. She told me everything would be ok, that I couldn't give up hope. I so very much wanted to believe her.
During the last year of my stay there, I stayed with kind friends. But the money never came. When I got sick of freeloading, I went to live in the backseat of an old car parked beside a field of horses for a few mths (if I needed to shower I sneaked into backpacker hotels or used public baths by the beach). I finally admitted defeat when I received another call from my mom - she gave me her new ctc number - and then I got my school to cancel my visa. Then, I was 19 going on 20.
I thought my nightmare was over, so I never saw this coming. We had moved from fully-paid landed property to a small HDB flat. My dad had sabotaged my mom's business and she had been declared bankrupt and forced to wind up. No more cars, no domestic helpers, office furniture made our new HDB flat look like storage. My mom had lost a shocking amt of weight. She explained that she didn't tell me any of this to "protect me".. that upset me even more because I didn't understand at the time. I couldn't take it, I moved out.
I only recently found it within myself to forgive her and rebuild my relationship with her. I forgave my dad as well but kept my distance. My mom wants to write a book about our family "adventures" soon, and I will translate it for her. It's not good to hang onto these negative emotions because it stops you from going forward. That, and not your mom, is the only thing that can really stop you from realising your full potential. (That's what I realised eventually). I hope you can move on too, sometime in the near future. All da best. -
xiexie niOriginally posted by NT2:jiayou! -
Jai Shui~~~ -Oo-Originally posted by spinsugar:xiexie ni -
Hey, you're not the only one with this problem.
Yeah, it's sad if your parents didn't encourage you to discover your true talent/potential early. But what's past is past and you shouldn't blame your mother for what happened.
Now that you live alone, you should be able to roam freely and do whatever you want. I guess that's where you can find something you're good at.
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chill man.
at least she fed you until you're of this age. -
at times i also blame my mother for not lettin me to learn piano when i was young, or go for drawin lessons ..
she send me for ballet instead but i dont like, so borin, prefer other type of dance
now so old liao, want to learn piano but seems .... -
^ you're never too old to learn piano. If you have motivation, then DO it!Originally posted by Lorry`:at times i also blame my mother for not lettin me to learn piano when i was young, or go for drawin lessons ..
she send me for ballet instead but i dont like, so borin, prefer other type of dance now so old liao, want to learn piano but seems ....
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You shouldn't question her actions as long as her intentions are good and she has your well being at heart. She wishes you well, but may not have done what you think is the 'right' thing to express her love for you.Originally posted by Simon Dean:When i was young, she never bothered to ask me if i wanted to sign up for any recreational courses or sports.Neither was she interested when i told her that i wanted to go for such a course.This cause low self esteem in my primary school days as everyone was good in something.I was not.Simply because my mother didnt give a fcuk care about developing my potential or talent from young.
She will also get so fkin paranoid whenever i do something that is deemed dangerous.
I will never fkin forgive you for that, you fker.
On the other hand, I am appalled by the sheer malice and hatred you display towards the person who brought you into this world, and who fed and nurture you until you come of age and become independent enough to maliciously flame her on line. -
It's never too late mate.... you can make your dream come true.Originally posted by Lorry`:at times i also blame my mother for not lettin me to learn piano when i was young, or go for drawin lessons ..
she send me for ballet instead but i dont like, so borin, prefer other type of dance now so old liao, want to learn piano but seems .... -
come on' simon..be thankful that you got to this earth because of ur parents...if not for them..you wun even be able to come here and talk Co*k so..be thankful!!!
You just dun appreciate what you parents does and keep on complaining this and that..they are worried for your safety when you are young..is that wrong???
and if they din send you to piano/ballet lessons like other kids,doesn;t mean they heck abt you...did you ever think i was probably they ain't that rich at that point of time?please la...think for them la..dun be selfish..
so what if they nv send you to any lessons/courses when you were young? so what if other kids are good in something when you are not? does it mean you can't learn it now that you are older now???
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thanks thanks for the encouragement
ya , must have the 'heart' to learn, 'no time' or 'no $' are excuses ..
but right now is really no time
nevermind, i play o2jam -
Yours is the stuff for movies!!Originally posted by spinsugar:
I can understand your resentment. My mom raised my siblings and I single-handedly..She used to be very bent on developing my talents when we were still well-off. She suddenly sent me overseas to study when I was 16. A year into my studies, she started having probs wiring money over. I couldn't even buy clothes for winter. She wouldn't explain anything to me.
So did u manage to graduate eventually? -
U r in your mid 20s? Sorry, from ur lame topics, i tot u were a lost teen!! I'm sorry, pls flame meOriginally posted by banzie:I understand some of your shoe in some ways... My esteem, life and future were somehow destroyed by her..... Sometime I really felt very annoyed and irritated when talking to her... somehow in my heart I am blaming her for what she had done which i TRIED SO HARD TO CHANGE BACK... even for now that I past my mid 20+ the effect is still there very much and in a way impossible... To say that I dont hate her at all... is a lie... sometime I do... I felt very hurt too... I just hope God would change things for me... and wish one day Ill leave this sh-it once and for all...
U and ur mum seem irreconciliable. Very deep differences and totally from different worlds.
I have asked myself before, "r u a gd son?" Matter of fact is, i have seldom been one. So, i don't expect my folks to be gd parents too. Most parents feel that they have done their job by just putting food on the table, providing a shelter over our head and enabling a basic education. Many have neglected the intrinsic devt of their children.
They are from a totally different world. Just to share some food for tot. -
Ur parents sound like traditional asian parents, which most of Singaporeans are. In an asian culture, we seldom see praise but more of criticism. How much of this criticism is construcitve or destructive, only u know.Originally posted by toyota-corolla:i have never forgive my parents for what they did to me.
My parents were always quick in destructive criticism and hesitant in praise. I still hate them for that but I don't say it. I will probably bring this secret to my grave because some things are better left unsaid. -
you got what kind of potential? noob.Originally posted by Simon Dean:When i was young, she never bothered to ask me if i wanted to sign up for any recreational courses or sports.Neither was she interested when i told her that i wanted to go for such a course.This cause low self esteem in my primary school days as everyone was good in something.I was not.Simply because my mother didnt give a fcuk care about developing my potential or talent from young.
She will also get so fkin paranoid whenever i do something that is deemed dangerous.
I will never fkin forgive you for that, you fker. -
i cant believe such things are an issue to accuse the mom for and develop anger towards her. its not as if she dump you or anything.
what a whiner. -
WRONG!!! One is NEVER too old to learn.Originally posted by Lorry`:at times i also blame my mother for not lettin me to learn piano when i was young, or go for drawin lessons ..
she send me for ballet instead but i dont like, so borin, prefer other type of dance now so old liao, want to learn piano but seems .... -
Not really..at least dump him..can have a chance to get adopted by hot ppl like angelina jolie, madonna etc.
ok, as for the topic, I can understand how he feels..but also be glad that your parents dun push you to succeed until you commit suicide -
Sometimes setbacks will make a person stronger..
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i lost my mum when i was 2... growing up without a mum is difficult..imagine the bereavement i face when i see my peers bonding with their mum growing up..right now, i'm totally for family bonding..life is too fragile to appreciate what you have lost and too short to reminisce what you had...
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Originally posted by Rock^Star:Yours is the stuff for movies!!
So did u manage to graduate eventually?
umm.. tt's why I dunno how to tell friends without sounding like I'm exaggerating
I tried my best to fasttrack, got into the degree I wanted, but had to pull out before completion. Been working to help support family since I came back & I've almost saved enuff money to get back on track