k compo time!!!
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...... i suddenly feel that you abit like stooky leh...Originally posted by FireIce:wu zun stays just next room.
and when i was bathing, i heard a knock on the door
i opened the door, wearing only a towel around my mid-section and a towel on my head
he smiled sheepishly and asked to borrow pepper.........
i was so stunned tt the towel dropped. the one on my head.
i so disappointed bcos i the mid-section one neber drop. knn.
alot of creativity on crap but not on serious thing...
opps....... -
the bits she gave sounds very wrong sia.Originally posted by BÃ¥seline:I think FI gave u the best bits.
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Originally posted by FireIce:wu zun stays just next room.
and when i was bathing, i heard a knock on the door
i opened the door, wearing only a towel around my mid-section and a towel on my head
he smiled sheepishly and asked to borrow pepper.........
i was so stunned tt the towel dropped. the one on my head.
i so disappointed bcos the mid-section one neber drop. knn.
can tok about outside air and such anot? -
ya... at least she is the first one who gave something i wanted then other get an idea form it then think of the arcade...Originally posted by BÃ¥seline:I think FI gave u the best bits. -
luckily i know how to make it sound correct...Originally posted by Ito_^:the bits she gave sounds very wrong sia. 
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Weird.
I remember doing a compo of the same exact title. -
sainz... til now only 1 idea...
i think i start writing liao lah... -
coooool!!!!!!!!!!!1Originally posted by binarynwitz:Weird.
I remember doing a compo of the same exact title.
give me some idea what to write ok?
plz plz plz plz plz plz plz and a million thanks -
To be disappointed,u must first have expectations.
Think of what u expect and what u did not get. -
ok... i see... this really help me alot dude...Originally posted by Patrik:To be disappointed,u must first have expectations.
Think of what u expect and what u did not get. -
Glad to be of help.Originally posted by popikachu:ok... i see... this really help me alot dude...
Din really give any ideas.But just some ideas to help u think of the ideas.
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see my first post!!!
Compo out liao!!!
all comment are welcome!!!
but please help me correct my mistake too... -
should've talked bout ur hotel room being haunted....
coz some genting hotels got ghost one.... coz got people lose all their money in casino n den hanged themselves in the hotel suite -
no offence, you need to double check on your composition.....
i don't want to point it out........... -
your composition sounds right, but.......
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Originally posted by popikachu:
Almost every inch was filled cancel the words herewith clothes. That old luggage of mine was so full that it might explode anytime. I was trying my very best to make use of every single inch that the old luggage can contain. The thought of travelling outside my homeland for the first time is making me go crazy. The highly excited me was jumping around like a monkey which just could not wait for the time to depart for the vacation.
compo is out!!!
can help me check see got any gramma mistake or spelling mistake? i am sure got alot de...
comments are very welcome too!!!
Q: write about a time when you went for a holiday but it turn out to be disapointing...
It was finally time to carry our big and packed bags into the van. My uncle double checked that everything that is needed to bring along was taken. This is the beginning of my journey outside my homeland for the first time. Rays of the sun shone down fiercely on my uncle's car while the then gentle wind of the air-conditioner blew our faces. The sky was clear.
Wild imagination started to race through my mind. The thoughts of the coolest theme park, of their wonderful food and the best temperature Genting would have. The air temperature of Genting is as cold as the temperature my uncle's car air conditioner is giving out.
We passed the causeway which divides Singapore and Malaysia to take a break in a restaurant. The restaurant was quite dirty but as we could not find any other decent places to eat, hence we ate there. After eating, we continued our journey and were finally able to reach our destination, Genting.
After both of us booked in into a hotel room, I was stuck inside the washroom for quite sometime. It was not because of their washroom being nice, but was due to a stomachache I had. I felt very ill that day and my uncle brought me to see a doctor. The search for a doctor was took quite a long time as we were unfamiliar with the place.
After the doctor's injection, i slept in the hotel and that was how i spent my first day outside Singapore. During my sleep, my uncle went to the casino and(cancel this "and") without me as I was underage. Another reason was because I could not leave my bed and so he took the chance to go there.
After I woke up, I felt so energized that I was able take down a tiger! Maybe this energy was stored yesterday when I was resting. There has only been one thing on my mind. The Theme Park. I got my outfit and went off to the hotel lobby without my uncle's accompanying me. The exit of the hotel,(cancel this "comma") was open and I saw something I had never expected.
Water droplets were dripping from the sky down to the ground I was standing on. This also meant that the Theme Park will be closed. I was so sad that I went back to my room and then called my uncle to wake up. I asked him what should we do at that time since we would not be able to enjoy ourselves in the Theme Park. He suggested the Arcade.
I then went to the arcade with my uncle and played there. There was nothing really special about the arcade and I was not in the mood to play as I had missed going to the fantastic theme park that I had been dreaming about.
Soon, it was evening and we went back to our hotel. The next morning, we started on our trip home. This was the ever first holidays(cancel the "s') I had ever went and was met with such a great disappointment.
done in a rush...others can check for my errors...gtg... -
When is it due?
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_n00b_ I can see errors in the red words leh.
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"done in hurry" mah.Originally posted by ArdusKane:_n00b_ I can see errors in the red words leh. -
TS never bring his pet pikachu on the trip??!!
pikachu i choose u!!!
You know that there's no one so...
I choose you! -
Originally posted by _n00b_:
Major restruring needed for the remainding paras.
Almost every inch was filled cancel the words herewith clothes. That old luggage of mine was so full that it might explode anytime. I was trying my very best to make use of every single inch that the old luggage can contain. The thought of travelling outside my homeland for the first time is making me go crazy. The highly excited me was jumping around like a monkey which just could not wait for the time to depart for the vacation.
It was finally time to carry our big and packed bags into the van. My uncle double checked that everything required was brought along. This is the beginning of my journey outside my homeland for the first time. Rays of the sun shone down fiercely on my uncle's car while the then gentle wind of the air-conditioner caressed(how can an air conditioner "blow your face? ) our faces. delete "sky was clear"-- no connection
this sentence is rephrased below. The thought of the cool theme park, wonderful food and great climate Genting offered raced through my mind. i heardthe air temperature of Genting is as cooling(cold is preety negative) as the temperature in my uncle's cardeleted.
We passed the causeway which divided Singapore and Malaysia to take a break in a restaurant. The restaurant was quite dirty but as we could not find any other decent places to eat, hence we ate there. After eating, we continued our journey and were finally able to reach our destination, Genting.i feel that this whole paragraph is irrelevant and should be deleted
After we booked in into a hotel room, I was stuck inside the washroom for quite sometime. It was not because of their washroom being nice, but due to a stomachache I[color=green] was having [/color]. I felt very ill that day and my uncle brought me deleted a doctor. The search for a doctor deletedtook quite a long time as we were unfamiliar with the place.
After the doctor's injection, i slept in the hotel and that was how i spent my first day outside Singapore. When i was asleep, my uncle went to the casino and(cancel this "and") without me as I was underage. Another reason was because I could not leave my bed and so he took the chance to go there.<-- smth wrong wif tis setence
When(its concurrent) I woke up, I felt so energized that I [color=green]could[/color] take down a tiger! Maybe this energy was stored deleted when I was resting. There was one thing on my mind -- The Theme Park. I got[color=green] into[/color] my outfit and went off to the hotel lobby without my uncledeleted. The exit of the hotel,(cancel this "comma") was open and I saw something I had never expected.
[/b]
the themepark looks like its the main thing, but its not given enough emphasis. put in the emotional aspect(teachers love it & it makes the compo more interesting)Put more emphasis on the theme park thing.
and, be extra careful with your tenses, lots of errors spotted. Should be in past tense.
I not english teacher, so mayb will have errors in my corrections
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once i reached the custom, i found that my passport expired.... DAMN LCB..KNN...ARRGGHHSS
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k edited liao...
can help to check see got anymore mistake?
date due thursday... -
Originally posted by FireIce:wu zun stays just next room.
and when i was bathing, i heard a knock on the door
i opened the door, wearing only a towel around my mid-section and a towel on my head
he smiled sheepishly and asked to borrow pepper.........
i was so stunned tt the towel dropped. the one on my head.
i so disappointed bcos the mid-section one neber drop. knn. -
Originally posted by popikachu:compo is out!!!
can help me check see got any gramma mistake or spelling mistake? i am sure got alot de...
comments are very welcome too!!!
Q: write about a time when you went for a holiday but it turn out to be disapointing...
Almost every inch was filled with clothes. That old luggage of mine was so full that it might explode anytime. I was trying my very best to make use of every single inch that the old luggage can contain. The thought of travelling outside my homeland for the first time is making me go crazy. The highly excited me was jumping around like a monkey which just could not wait for the time to depart for the vacation.
It was finally time to carry our big and packed bags into the van. My uncle double checked that everything required was brought along. This is the beginning of my journey outside my homeland for the first time. Rays of the sun shone down fiercely on my uncle's car while the then gentle wind of the air-conditioner caressed our faces.
The thought of the cool theme park, wonderful food and great climate Genting offered raced through my mind. i heard the air temperature of Genting is as cooling as the temperature in my uncle's car.
We passed the causeway which divided Singapore and Malaysia to take a break in a restaurant. The restaurant was quite dirty but as we could not find any other decent places to eat, hence we ate there. After eating, we continued our journey and were finally able to reach our destination, Genting.
After we booked in into a hotel room, I was stuck inside the washroom for quite sometime. It was not because of their washroom being nice, but due to a stomachache i was having. I felt very ill that day and my uncle brought me deleted a doctor. The search for a doctor deleted took quite a long time as we were unfamiliar with the place.
After the doctor's injection, i slept in the hotel and that was how i spent my first day outside Singapore. When i was asleep, my uncle went to the casino and without me as I was underage. Another reason was because I could not leave my bed and so he took the chance to go there
When I woke up, I felt so energized that I could take down a tiger! Maybe this energy was stored deleted when I was resting. There was one thing on my mind -- The Theme Park. I got into my outfit and went off to the hotel lobby without my uncle. The exit of the hotel was open and I saw something I had never expected.
Water drips from the sky down to the ground i was standing. This also means that the Theme Park will be close. I was so sad that i went back to my room and at last, called my uncle to wake up. I ask him what should we do now since we would not be able to enjoy ourselves in the Theme Park. He suggested the Arcade.
I then went to the arcade with my uncle and play there. There not nothing really special about the arcade and i was not in the mood of playing as i has miss the fantastic theme park i am dreaming about.
Soon dark started to fall and we went back to our hotel. The next morning, we went back to our home. This was the ever first holidays I ever went and with such a great disappointment comes great orgasm.
Edited 1.