Parents who do not want to work
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Originally posted by Blueyyy:
kakowi's replies are very unpractical and belonged to those "ideal" and "model" answers from counsellors.
Let me start by first saying, I am in a very similar boat as you. I have both parents, brother and sister living together with me. Both parents are 57 and 53. Sister is 18 and brother is 16. My father suffers from schizoprenia but is now like lao ren chi dai, and my mum was also schizoprenic but had since recovered fully. My dad does not wor, not that he doesnt want, but he has the heart but no strength and breath. My mum is currently working as a school cleaner, income: 650 per month before deduct CPF. My sis is studying in poly 2nd year, my bro, just admitted to boy's home recently.
With a family like this, I believe many will have given up, but not me. My parents provided basic schooling and food for me till I am in JC. From then on, how I survived my dailies is by loans from governement, bursaries and kind loans of 100 or 200 every few months from my uncle and aunty. I survived thru my uni studies by 100% loan from the bank, which I am currently repaying: 36k in total. I did not really work part time in my uni as I was actively involved in CCAs.
Currently, my expenses are as follows every month:
Uni loan repayment: 600
Bills (HDB loan, PUB, Town council, Starhub, Singtel): 1000 average
Insurance: 240
Food: 400 average
Transport: 100 average
Don't worry, with your current case, if you go to your grassroot MP, you will definitely get monthly assistance from them, 300 per month. If you don't get it, send me a PM, I will advise you how. You need supporting documents, for example medical certs (very powerful) to prove that your mum can't work, your outstanding monthly bills, your pay slip, your mum declaration of divorce/unemployed etc. Anything that can prove your hardship will help. You can also apply for temporary waiver of housing loans and utilities but remember that it is only temporary, you will still have to pay back in the end when you earn enough for your salary.
Don't worry too much about your investments for now, you simply do not have enough money. Wait for about 2 years or 3 years when your pay increase or you change job. If can, take a part time degree WITH your company sponsoring you. Think of ways to minimise your spendings, take buses, walk to nearest MRT, cycle.
Times are hard, but if you persevere, one day, you might just get lucky and land into a job which pays you well and things will change for the better like myself currently. Good luck!
so what is your salary now?
Your case is slightly better than mine. My mother is not sick. She is able to work but she does not want to work and there is no outstanding monthly bills. So now you know why applying for financial assistant will not work?
At the very least your mother is still working despite knowing that her salary is low. I recently recommend a job to my mother salary $1200 before deduct cpf and she don't want, claiming that salary is too low and working hours too long despite knowing that she only has O level and is already 52 years old.
Plus your sister currently can find some part time job and once she graduate in 2 years time, she will be able to find a decent job as she is a diploma holder and than she will be able to contribute money to the family.
I don't have any sibilings who can contribute to the family
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u say until ur future so brite den y u huan loh.
look at ur lan jiao attitude.
u deserve dis kind of family & farked-up life!
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Originally posted by eagle:
how long are your working hours
Madpoh, just wondering
how long are your working hours
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Originally posted by Hello Kitty:
u say until ur future so brite den y u huan loh.
look at ur lan jiao attitude.
u deserve dis kind of family & farked-up life!
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Originally posted by Kakowi:
If I were you, I will probably be dissatisfied with the answers - the imposition of values, the moralizing. These values are applicable to them and may not be for others.
Let's look at the facts. Your divorced mother got the house and the kids. In which case she is probably receiving alimony as well as child maintenance for you for a long time. Since you are now working, she is looking towards you for the shortfall in maintenance.
Ask her about her monthly expenditure.
Tell her about the government policy that your burdens are your own.
Tell her you need to look after your own financials too, even more so as your income is little.
Tell her in this present age, the entire family needs to pull together.
Determine how much you can afford to give her. Consider this formula: pay yourself the first 20%. Go to funds supermart and choose a good fund. Forget about insurance savings plan in your case as you need ready cash in the event...well, just in case.
The remaining 80%, give $50 to the church or charity. The remainder will be used for your transport, food, fun (give yourself a reward once every month), your mother's allowance, you and your mother's medishield (must!) and critical illness policies for yourself and mother. Are you a nationalservice man? (sorry i did not read carefully to see if you are a guy or gal). If yes, go to SAFRA and take up their NTUC policy or AVIVA to take up their SAF policy. That is all you need and these policies are the cheapest in the market.
You need to be comfortable. Your mother need to be comfortable. The best way is to talk it over with your mother, a heart to heart talk.
Give some money to your father too. He has taken care of you too all these years. He will be delighted because a child is always a child.
My comments are generic in nature. If it does not apply to you or if it will make more sense if more details are known, then please pm me at my email if private or here if public.
I wish you the best and hope that your solution will be meaningful to you and your mother.
My mother have her own insurance policies. I have recently applied for ntuc insurance for myself too and is waiting for their approval. I don't attent church. My mother do not receive money from my dad for feeding me. Even when I am staying with my mum, it was my dad who every month give me money to spend until I enter ns. -
Originally posted by Hello Kitty:
u say until ur future so brite den y u huan loh.
look at ur lan jiao attitude.
u deserve dis kind of family & farked-up life!N
u deserve to be flamed too throughout the entire forum.Everybody including newbies in this forum know how unpopular and stupid you are in this forum.
The best part is that you are so thick skinned and absolutely feel no shame for yourself and you can still continue posting.
You are better dead than alive.
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Originally posted by eagle:
Madpoh, just wondering
how long are your working hours
Normal office hours 5 days a week.You want to suggest taking another part time job right?
Currently still not that desperat as my mother recently just jobless and still got some savings. . Will see how in the future..
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Originally posted by Madpoh:
Normal office hours 5 days a week.You want to suggest taking another part time job right?
Currently still not that desperat as my mother recently just jobless and still got some savings. . Will see how in the future..
yep...
i'm also working full time, and not desperate for money... but i'm already looking for a 2nd job at the same time...
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hong gan lah, u too ashamed of urself to post in ur regular nick izit.
other ppl tell u wat, u oso buay geh yan, u oso got excuses.
hannah, whole world ä½ æœ€æƒ¨äº†å•¦ã€‚
other ppl cm tell u their life hw hard oso canot win u one lah.
u so screwed up, whole life so screwed up, u the worst lah, u hv our sympathies lah!
　
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Looks like Divorce always makes the children suffer.
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Originally posted by Hello Kitty:
u say until ur future so brite den y u huan loh.
look at ur lan jiao attitude.
u deserve dis kind of family & farked-up life!
im appalled by your poor upbringing -
Originally posted by Madpoh:
so what is your salary now?
Your case is slightly better than mine. My mother is not sick. She is able to work but she does not want to work and there is no outstanding monthly bills. So now you know why applying for financial assistant will not work?
At the very least your mother is still working despite knowing that her salary is low. I recently recommend a job to my mother salary $1200 before deduct cpf and she don't want, claiming that salary is too low and working hours too long despite knowing that she only has O level and is already 52 years old.
Plus your sister currently can find some part time job and once she graduate in 2 years time, she will be able to find a decent job as she is a diploma holder and than she will be able to contribute money to the family.
I don't have any sibilings who can contribute to the family
If you mum does not want to work, like my dad, then there is no point forcing her. Give her what you can give within your means :) There can't be no outstanding bills if your plight is really so worse off, give it a few months and there will be, naturally.
My sis is currently working to support herself as she likes to buy clothes, make up, shoes etc. What the home can give her are basics like food and shelter. I do not expect her to contribute to the family, but definitely, it will be nice for her to contribute some.
I had already given you some advice/ways which had proven to work as I had used them before, the rest is up to you.
As for my salary, it is rather fluctuating, but it is about 4 times more then what a uni engineer get for a month of work.
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Originally posted by sEphIrOth:
im appalled by your poor upbringingmy parents brought me up well, thank you very much.
by tokin liddis, u tink u r any betta.
obviously, no.
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Madpoh,
I think your mom is also fedup with your grandmother for being so money minded.
So by refusing to work, she will have no income..that way your grandmother can no longer squeeze money out from her. It's another internal power struggle, nothing to do with laziness.
I really wonder why your aunt and uncles need to talk to your mother. Since they are not supporting your grandmother, it is not their place to speak to her about income.
I suggest you let your mother know you have other plans for a savings of your own.
Considering your meagre income and unstable job situation. It is always prudent to have a savings of your own for rainy days.
Let her know of your future plans, example, you want to pursue higher educations to increase your income capacity.
Maybe take up part time classes while you work, and let her know how much those costs.
Consider negotiating for a lower monthly contribution while you are saving and upgrading yourself.
Obviously, your mother is not in urgent need of cash now. So don't take it too hard on yourself.
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I would say you should have no worries.
If people can survive with a sub 1k salary supporting 2 kids in the entire household. I don't see any reason why you are complaining with a pay that above 1k.
Just $400 to your month every month should do the trick and you'll still have an estimated $800 every month. AND you can live VERY well in singapore with that sum of money. UNless you are those type of people like to enjoy/destroy life (going clubbing, drinking, smoking, pooling, ktving etc.), then it a waste of everyone's time trying to reply to this thread.
IN any case your arguments shows how short sighted you are, planning 5 minutes ahead and not further. A diploma holder can easily get 2k out there right now if you ARE capable. IF you are not getting a sum you think is sufficient, stop blaming things/people around you and start looking at yourself. Why did you not work harder in school (good results = good career prospects)? why did you not save up while in NS(How much can u spend in 8 days out of camp??!!)
If people can live on $300 just on basic needs (food, books, transport,stationary, handphone, internet). ARE YOU COMPLAINING BECAUSE OF YOUR WANTS and ur mum will be eating into this sum of money for your enjoyment *roll eyes*
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Well guys, I think its best to let the TS handle it himself.
Im sure deep inside him, he just wants to say it out to lighten the burden hes feeling inside of him.
to the TS: I dont have any good suggestions like the other forumers have, life is full of ups and downs, there are people who live good life, able to afford anything they can, there are also people at the opposite.keep hanging on, life is tough but Im sure someday a solution will show itself to you.
Good luck (:
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Originally posted by maxsee:
I think u will have problem getting a wife next time.....after she learn of the burdens she needs to share with u.....u better talk to ur mother again and ask her not to quit....or get a new job.
Or that with combined income, life is better??????
Or the wife's family also as messed up???
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Welcome to SG working class! Here in SG unless you're a talent or have rich obasan and okasan, you suffer loh....don't think of more handouts and subsidies..
MM lee said subsidies will make SG go down!
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In the near future, diploma holders will clear plates and degree holders work in fast food...ichiban!
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Originally posted by Blueyyy:
kakowi's replies are very unpractical and belonged to those "ideal" and "model" answers from counsellors.
Let me start by first saying, I am in a very similar boat as you. I have both parents, brother and sister living together with me. Both parents are 57 and 53. Sister is 18 and brother is 16. My father suffers from schizoprenia but is now like lao ren chi dai, and my mum was also schizoprenic but had since recovered fully. My dad does not wor, not that he doesnt want, but he has the heart but no strength and breath. My mum is currently working as a school cleaner, income: 650 per month before deduct CPF. My sis is studying in poly 2nd year, my bro, just admitted to boy's home recently.
With a family like this, I believe many will have given up, but not me. My parents provided basic schooling and food for me till I am in JC. From then on, how I survived my dailies is by loans from governement, bursaries and kind loans of 100 or 200 every few months from my uncle and aunty. I survived thru my uni studies by 100% loan from the bank, which I am currently repaying: 36k in total. I did not really work part time in my uni as I was actively involved in CCAs.
Currently, my expenses are as follows every month:
Uni loan repayment: 600
Bills (HDB loan, PUB, Town council, Starhub, Singtel): 1000 average
Insurance: 240
Food: 400 average
Transport: 100 average
Don't worry, with your current case, if you go to your grassroot MP, you will definitely get monthly assistance from them, 300 per month. If you don't get it, send me a PM, I will advise you how. You need supporting documents, for example medical certs (very powerful) to prove that your mum can't work, your outstanding monthly bills, your pay slip, your mum declaration of divorce/unemployed etc. Anything that can prove your hardship will help. You can also apply for temporary waiver of housing loans and utilities but remember that it is only temporary, you will still have to pay back in the end when you earn enough for your salary.
Don't worry too much about your investments for now, you simply do not have enough money. Wait for about 2 years or 3 years when your pay increase or you change job. If can, take a part time degree WITH your company sponsoring you. Think of ways to minimise your spendings, take buses, walk to nearest MRT, cycle.
Times are hard, but if you persevere, one day, you might just get lucky and land into a job which pays you well and things will change for the better like myself currently. Good luck!
i rikes ur attitude
heehee
-hugz-
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Originally posted by Hello Kitty:
my parents brought me up well, thank you very much.
by tokin liddis, u tink u r any betta.
obviously, no.
probably cant blame your parents.well, assuming how am i inferior, on par or better than you makes you horribly judgmental and horrendously misinformed.
you base your replies by pure prejudiced views whether being in your favour or not. by talking like this? care to elaborate how do i speak?
with your mentally, you are probably within the bottom 1% percentile of intelligence within sgforums, sinking with the clones with your sheer stupidity.
have a nice day, for you may never know if this be your last.
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Originally posted by Ferret:
i rikes ur attitude
heehee
-hugz-
Such heavy responsibilites and committments, even heavier then those married with children and parents to feed. -
Originally posted by sEphIrOth:
probably cant blame your parents.well, assuming how am i inferior, on par or better than you makes you horribly judgmental and horrendously misinformed.
you base your replies by pure prejudiced views whether being in your favour or not. by talking like this? care to elaborate how do i speak?
with your mentally, you are probably within the bottom 1% percentile of intelligence within sgforums, sinking with the clones with your sheer stupidity.
have a nice day, for you may never know if this be your last.
tell me then - are you not judgin me?
unlike you, i, at least, display intelligence.
i speak wif a mind of my own; i do not nit to conform to ur beliefs.
anyway, pls speek simple engrish... coz ur structuring & grammar cmi.
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Originally posted by Blueyyy:
Such heavy responsibilites and committments, even heavier then those married with children and parents to feed.yes. but still, you are happier than most people i know
and thats great !
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Originally posted by Hello Kitty:
tell me then - are you not judgin me?
unlike you, i, at least, display intelligence.
i speak wif a mind of my own; i do not nit to conform to ur beliefs.
anyway, pls speek simple engrish... coz ur structuring & grammar cmi.
i m not judging u. im juz appalled by how u judge people and segregation of people.if u display intelligence, u would understand my english.
if u say my grammar and structuring cmi, explain and point out my mistakes please.
you are the typical person who dismisses something when you do not understand it. foolish.
you just contradicted and made yourself look like a fool in your post and i have a lot of time to enlighten someone like you. be honoured.
so please tell me, where does your intelligence come from?